I hadn’t seen the baby photo before, though I had read you guys discussing it. It’s good.
I think the second rhetorical question “What do you say?” [+ smiley :-)] is surplus to requirements and a bit twee (to resurrect guinnog’s excellent word).
Now…the bit that made me laugh and then blush. Not kidding - and that was just me reading a computer screen 10,000 miles away with no thought of meeting you, let alone doing you!!
When I read as far as the end of the first sentence, I stopped and asked myself is this person saying what I think she’s saying. Then I read on and discovered that yes, she was. You don’t come over as desperate, but you do come over as a bit scary. To me, at least. But I’m so out of the loop dating-wise (but not flirting-wise - that loop is never broken) and possibly so far removed culture-wise, that maybe this is what snares you the hottest and nicest men over there.
BTW, how can you spend the least time in your bedroom than any other room? Are you an insomniac?!
It’s the best I could come up with. I felt the need to wrap up that paragraph with some sort of question like that, and I played with several variations of “Any suggestions?” before coming up with “What do you say?” Do you think the paragraph should stand on its own? Do you have a suggestion for a better way of putting a point on it?
You know, I wasn’t sure about that whole part. I think I was feeling a bit frustrated with some of the ads I’d been reading, so I figured cocky/forthright was the way to go. But it’s a bit much for someone who doesn’t know me, so I’m back to just the “with any luck you are…” paragraph.
I spend more time in my living room and/or computer room than I do sleeping, especially on weekends. Is that really so unusual?
Understood. I guess they can be bland or boring (a real turn-off, perhaps - not what you want). But, as things stood, you might have been getting a bit more “cocky” than you were bargaining for!
Well, if you work from home, it’s not unusual. But, otherwise, if you spend less time in your bedroom than in other rooms, then it sounds as if you only work p-t!
I agree that there are several phrases in other languages that do not have a good English translation. It unfortunate that Ms. Dion has coopted a good one, but I’m glad you’re dropping it. I can just see your next thread:
Help me fix my Match.com profile so that all these closet Celine Dion fans stop winking at me.
I’m sorry to be a pain, but I don’t like the new sentence:
“Relatively” secure as compared to what? I’m always leery of “relative” things because I don’t know what your standards are. How about: “I know who I am, and I’m comfortable in my own skin.”?
I don’t know that I would ever be able to write a good internet profile. It’s way more work than I thought!
I’m beginning to think that I might be quite mentally ill … I’m almost obsessed with this whole profile thing! :eek:
Hmm. I think I disagree.
Yeah, I should have known better than to mention “sex” directly, or to diss the friendship thing. Oh well.
I still don’t get it. I work 8 hours a day, I sleep 6-7 hours a night, that leaves 9 hours on weekdays (when I don’t have any plans after work) that I’m either in the living room (watching tv, reading, playing the piano, etc.) or on the computer. And as I said, the number of hours I spend in other rooms of the house increases on weekends.
When I wrote that I spend the least amount of time in my bedroom, I didn’t think it would strike anyone as so unusual that I’d wind up accounting for every hour of my day!
Ha! That made me laugh out loud!
You’re not being a pain at all … I asked for feedback, and this is good stuff! But with this particular sentence, I didn’t like it before you didn’t like it. I changed it already; now it’s “I’m independent, and comfortable in my own skin.” Better? Still “meh?”
Nah … it’s only work if you convince yourself that anything short of a letter-perfect, witty, intelligent, completely beguiling profile means that you’ll wind up dying alone and being eaten by your cats.
Ah, I imagined that you’d be at home - not in bed - in the morn for only half an hour (even less in my case, but I’m a quick getter-upper) and again in the eve for about 4-5 hours before retiring. But then, that’s just me. Curse these HK working hours and travel time!
Morning prep time is significant (close to 2 hours from the moment I turn off the alarm to the moment I walk out the door), but is spent in the bathroom, not the bedroom (minus 10 minutes for putting clothes on). My office is just a 10-minute drive from my front door. And if I only stayed up for 5 hours after getting home I’d be in bed at 11pm! That’s early!
Anyway, I’ve removed the offending phrase: it was superfluous (yes, even more superfluous than everything else :p). Likewise with the bit about my magazine subscriptions, which bothered me the last few times I looked at my profile. I’m keeping “What do you say? :-)”, though, at least for the time being, because I still feel that the paragraph needs some kind of closer.
I know you’re getting to hate me (everyone does eventually), but I’ll just say that the major reason (as I reflected) that the bedroom-hour-time seemed odd is that you would count it in the first place!
The reason I don’t care for ‘What do you say?’ and even less for the smiley is that they are so ‘not you’, taking into account the tone of the rest of the profile. There is a raunchy, raw, dangerous element to you personality, which comes through well in the rest of the text. The cutie “tag” question cuts right against that, I feel.
Huh, I didn’t get that from any of your posts. All I got was “how is it possible that you spend less time in your bedroom than any other room in the house? don’t you sleep?” I guess it is kind of odd that I’d mention it in the first place, but as I was describing the things in my room I realized that it’s really quite a large space, but that I spend most of my (waking, at least) time in other parts of the house. I found that contrast interesting, so I figured I’d mention it. Sadly, I haven’t yet learned the lesson that my nonsequiturs rarely make sense to anyone but myself…
Gotcha. But I still feel like that paragraph needs a tag (THANK YOU, btw; I knew there was a better word for “closer” but I couldn’t think of it to save my life!), so we’ll just have to agree to disagree about that part.
Well, in my case, and I’m sure it’s different from guy to guy, but from looking at all the words, my first impression was: This chick will talk my ear off on the phone. Just my own personal turn-off. Roger Thornhill on the other hand seems to dig the verbosity.
I would want to date you, because you seem like a lot of fun, but also to see if my impression is right.
Well, late last night I got an encouraging reply* from a guy who sounds almost perfect. I’ll write back at some point today. Sometimes these exchanges don’t go beyond a couple of e-mails, so I’m not holding my breath or anything … but if we wind up living together, everyone in this thread is invited to the housewarming party.
At the very least, it’s nice to have a positive “real-world” response.
Heh! I’m not that way. I can carry on a conversation, but I’m not a “phone person” – and certainly not someone who will just go on and on without letting the other party get a word in edgewise (on the phone or face-to-face). In fact, around someone I don’t know very well – like a guy I’m just starting to date – I tend to talk even less. But I definitely have a tendency to write more than I would say!
I’m really glad that you mentioned it, though, because I find it interesting that 1) you think that I wrote a lot (I feel like I wrote an average amount for one of these things), and 2) you think that how much I wrote would have any bearing on how much I talk. And I don’t mean “interesting” in a condescending way! But you’re right that impressions vary, so I hope you won’t mind if I just disagree and don’t change the text at all. I hate it when people ask for advice and then seem to disregard it, but I feel that this is subjective enough for me to say, “nah, I disagree” (like with roger’s thing about my opening paragraph). Now, if 5 other people also say “sounds like you’d talk a lot”… But I guess it’s good that you’d date me anyway, so I’d get a chance to show that I’m not that bad.
I guess he doesn’t care if I talk a lot – or is at least willing to find out!
This has stuck in my head, and I think I like it. I might just want to have a sig for the first time in my Doper life … would it be ok with you if I use this line (for a little while, anyway) and attribute it to you?
The attribution stays … it makes it less likely that people will think I made the quote up. Far from finding it offensive, I think it’s kind of empowering: I don’t know about the “breakfast” and “seconds” parts, but it’s true that I’m not into the faint of heart. How’s it look?
(This from a woman who hardly ever uses words like “empowering!” :))
I felt the need to wrap up that paragraph with some sort of question like that, and I played with several variations of “Any suggestions?” before coming up with “What do you say?” Do you think the paragraph should stand on its own? Do you have a suggestion for a better way of putting a point on it?
