I hang my head that I ever should have imagined a technical writer could have made a typo!
I’m still not happy with this stupid profile. Mostly the headline. A couple more ideas:[ul]
[li]867-5309 (yep, my name is Jenny…too cute?)[/li][li]When choosing between two evils, I always pick the one I haven’t tried before. (a Mae West quote that I’ve used as a headline before; I’d look up the exact wording of the quote before using it)[/ul]I had a great idea the other night as I was falling asleep, and of course I haven’t been able to remember it since then! :smack:[/li]
Also, I’m thinking about changing the “who I’m looking for” part to the following:
With luck, you: are open-minded and tolerant … know yourself well enough that you can be honest with me about your wants and needs … don’t ever type “u” instead of “you” … have a picture in your profile … won’t tell me that you don’t care where we go to dinner when you really do … live locally … and can tolerate a Yankees fan (who is in danger of becoming a closet Nats fan). Everything else, we can play by ear.
If anyone else is still hanging around this thread, whaddya think? Any good?
You really shouldn’t. One of the most famous movie quotes of all time ‘Why don’t you come up and see me some time?’ was never actually said by Mae West. So, why not misquote her deliberately again as a litmus test for potential suitors? The ones that get all excited about correcting you can be consigned to the bin along with the gun nuts.
Much better.
I agree that the “who I’m looking for” is much better – if you’re going to leave out the “no winks” thing, I’l say much, much better.
Until this thread, I hadn’t realized there was such an art to creating an on-line profile. My hat’s off to you, Misnomer, for putting together a profile in which your personality comes through so clearly.
And my, uh, other hat’s off to you, roger, for a consistently interesting critique.
Misnomer, I thought your profile was good in the beginning. Now, going back to look at it, I think it’s much sharper after all the revisions, but it’s still clearly in your voice. I second roger’s vote regarding the Mae West quotation. (And under no circumstances use the 867-5309 when you’ve got so many better options.)
I’ve read your new profile and I think it’s heaps better. I read it all the way through this time, and ended up thinking “this person sounds interesting”.
I must admit, I’m a big fan of the “choosing the one you never tried before” line. That would definitely catch my attention. More than anything else, I interpret it as “I’m open-minded, love to try new things”. Although I suppose it could also be interpreted as “Why don’t you come up and see me sometime”
Max.
Thanks, everyone: I can’t tell you how much I appreciate the continued feedback!
I’ve changed the “who I’m looking for” text, and have reduced the number of sites I’m using to two from four (four? what was I thinking? :eek: ). One of the accounts I deleted is on the site that my ex’s profile is on, so I won’t be tempted to look at it anymore: I honestly don’t want him back, but I still miss him just a little when I see his picture and read about him, and I’m not strong enough to resist looking. Now that I’ve scaled back and am using the Mae West headline (until I can remember the one from the other night! arrgh!), I’m feeling much better about this whole venture. 
With my luck, I’ve quoted her accurately… 
Oh, and I’m sure you meant “I’ll say…” (I had to do it! I had to do it!)
Thanks!
So … how you doin’?
All I can say is thank goodness you were two hats. Joking aside, there’s something positive and wholesome about helping another person find happiness, isn’t there?
PS You’ve gone on my buddy list too!
Bwhahahahah! Oh that made me laugh out loud. Sooooo… you like soft-butch Aussie dykes? No accounting for taste!
Max.
The results:[ul]
[li]Match.com[/li][li]The Onion personals[/ul](The links should work, but if not I’m “Misnomer971” at both sites.)[/li]
Maxxxie, who’s to say that I don’t have “secret” profiles written specifically to attract soft-butch Aussie dykes?
Have you lost weight? Your face looks thinner in pics 4 & 5 than it does in the others, especially #1. Since 4 and 5 are the most recent you may wish to nuke #1. Since #1 cuts off your part of your shoulders, it makes it look like you just keep on going. Furthermore, on my computer I have to scroll down to see that your torso doesn’t take up the full frame. I can fully understand that you don’t want to give people the wrong idea, but I think this pic makes you look way larger than you really are. I’ll bet a lot of guys see #1 and just quit.
The main picture and the other one like it are less than 2 weeks old, and, yes, I have lost a little weight recently. But, one reason my face looks thinner in those photos is that I was deliberately looking up at the camera.
Regarding picture #1, that’s how I look. I think it’s one of the best pictures of me that I have. If it sends guys running, oh well!
I appreciate the thought, but you haven’t met me: you have no idea how large I “really” am.
Oh my Og, that was YOU on seekinghotaussiedykes.com??? :eek:
Max
Yes, just the other week I posted a thread about being done with the on-line dating stuff. Yes, there is something seriously wrong with me. But y’all have been really great about humouring me, so I’m hoping you’ll continue…
I’m now happy with my headline (and I don’t care if you don’t like it! :p), but I haven’t been completely happy with the text in my profile, so I took some time today to concentrate and re-write it. And I need opinions! I’m sharing the Onion profile because they allow paragraph breaks and foreign languages, so you can see the text the way that I want it to appear. If it works ok, I’ll adapt it to meet Match.com’s restrictions (grumble grumble).
Here I be: Misnomer971 (scroll down to get to the new stuff)
What do you think?
Hey, Misnomer, you sure you’re not willing to open that radius around Reston up a little bit? Like maybe 1300 miles?
Anyway, How’re you doin’?
So, I guess you like the re-write?
The link doesn’t seem to work.
Damn, I guess the profile URLs aren’t static … sorry about that. 
Here is what seems to be working right now.
If that link becomes busted, too, go to the main page and do a Profile Name Search (bottom right) on “misnomer971.” Mine will be the only profile that comes up; click the profile name to see the details.
Overall, great. But then I’ve thought that from the beginning. It still does a good job of conveying your personality. You’re clearly not looking for the faint of heart, and that’s good because I think you’d eat a man like that for breakfast and then go looking for seconds.
A few nits:
Change the parenthetical to: “(who might actually be a closet Nats fan).” The current parenthetical is vague – are you going to take your Nats love into the closet? I think what you mean is that you might be a Nats fan, but you’re a bit leery of admitting that. Changing it gets the sentiment across better, I think.
The French is a bit precious, particularly because you need the English translation (and because this is part of a Celine Dion song). I would vote for dropping the French entirely, or if you really like it, try this: “I am comfortable with myself, or, as the French have it, ‘bien dans ma peau.’” But I would write the French out entirely.
Thanks.
What I mean is that I will always be first and foremost a Yankess fan, but I might wind up as a reluctant Nats fan too – because they’re local and it’s their first season and all. I guess I don’t see how “I’m in danger of becoming a closet Nats fan” is much different from “I might actually be a closet Nats fan.”
I’m not sure what you mean by writing the French out entirely… do you mean if I keep it the way it is, write “Je suis bien dans ma peau” instead of “I am ‘bien dans ma peau’?” I think that would be precious.
I spent last year stuyding French, and when I was working on my profile and trying to think of a way to express that I’m pretty secure and happy with myself the “bien dans ma peau” phrase immediately came to mind. There really is no way to express the same meaning in English without using a bunch more words and making a really long sentence, so I figured I’d use it. I didn’t want to leave it untranslated and have anyone think that I expect them to speak French, but I see your point that including the translation weakens the use of the phrase. However, it’s all a moot point now:
I am very, very annoyed to find out that “bien dans ma peau” is used in a Celine Dion song. I hate Celine Dion. :mad: Now I’m going to have to remove that phrase entirely, because I don’t want to be mistaken for a Celine Dion fan. (but I’m glad that you mentioned it)