I think I’m just the one to tidy up Old Blighty for you. Britain has proven itself able to deal with strong female leaders (see Boadicea, Elizabeth I and II, Margaret Thatcher) and I’m certainly female, and if you ask the people who work for me, I can be …errr…strong.
Credentials? We don’t need no stinking credentials! (but I have them anyway). If you go far enough back in my maternal lineage, we are descendants of the Boleyn family (yes, that Boleyn), so, looked at with a squint in bad light, you could consider Liz the first and I as some type of cousins.
I’ve never drunk coffee in my life. Tea only, please, and plenty of it. Crumpets optional. Scones acceptable.
I hail from Chicagoland, hence am familiar with damp, grey, foggy weather. We call it spring.
I hold university degrees in Political Science and Economics, surely useful attributes in a potetial monarch. My original career aspiration was the diplomatic service, so my major concentrations were in International Relations and International Political Economy. Again, can one think of a better grounding for a monarch?
I speak, write and read several languages, and can sing in several more. Not sure how that factors in, but it’s interesting, yes? And being the monarch, I could sing whenever I wanted in whatever language I wanted and if my subjects didn’t like it, well off with their heads!
Now, how would I rule? As an American, I’m rather fond of participative democracy. Obviously it would need to be tweaked to allow the presence of an absolute monarch, but I’m willing to listen to what the peasants have to say and consider it, at least for a moment or two.
To advance the culture and reputation of the kingdom, I would abolish most forms of British food outright, or at least command that said victuals be presented in a more edible form. This is critical. Poorly fed people are cranky people (witness the Scots and Irish - have you seen some of the stuff those people eat?). Fat and happy people are more complacent and easier to rule. This would allow me to slice my securitibot budget, thus bringing happiness to Rhymer Enterprises as well as it would allow a greater share of the budget to be spent on the hookerbot business. It’s always wise to grease the hand that put one on the throne, doncha know.
I would engage in saber rattling rhetoric to make other countries believe I was just crazy enough to do damn near anything, so they would leave me alone to rule my little islands in peace lest I shoot off nukes in their direction because I didn’t care for the color of their socks that day.
