The topic should be changed to “Warning for everyone: Beware of either of these loonies!” He cheats on her, she trashes his stuff, he starts CrazyBitch.com…sounds like they truly deserve each other.
And for those of you who said “-All I have to say to this woman is THANK YOU, THANK YOU, THANK YOU for doing what I wish I would have had the balls to do a time or two to cheating boyfriends myself!” or “YOU GO GIRL!!!” you might want to reread your comments- it’ll make it easier for you to understand why your S.O. might start looking elsewhere.
You may want to re-read my statement that went something like this:
Past, present, or future S.O.s would know this about me. They would also be quite aware of the very real potential of me chopping their dinky off if I ever find him molesting one of my children.
This cheating jerk must have known his girlfriend well enough to know what she is capable of doing, yet he puts her and his secretary in an explosive situation. He was playing with fire and got burned. Boo-Hoo, poor baby.
I think that the kind of women who do this (or even condone it) don’t know how to deal with themselves, let alone anyone else.
Regardless, I don’t think this guy deserves sympathy, he deserves restitution.
The girl doesn’t deserve sympathy either. She deserves hours and hours of self affirmation for the cruel and heartless way she has been treated. I mean, someone’s got to make her feel like a human being! It’s not like it’s her responsibility to be well adjusted!
So, for all of these strong, vibrant women who think that all kinds of extreme retaliation are appropriate for women to inflict on men, what about when the tables are turned? Is it OK for a man who’s GF cheats on him to paint/tear all of her possessions? Is it OK for a man who’s GF/wife molests his kids to cut off her clitoris? Is it OK for a man who’s wife beats him to cover her in gasoline?
Somehow, I think that all of these ‘you go girl’ types are either going to ignore the question or admit that they believe women have the right to inflict violence on men at a whim.
Kevin Allegood,
“At least one could get something through Trotsky’s skull.”
Ah, but it was the secretary whom the boyfriend cheated with.
Aren’t there situations in which the jilted woman feels the urge to lash out at the one who “stole” her boyfriend, rather than at the boyfriend who cheated on her?
Yes, there are definately time when you want to strike out at the “other woman” as well as the cheater. Especially if you know that other woman well, but even if you don’t.
Hell yes, she should have some responsibility in the mess.
I know of very few truly innocent women, who would be gullible enough to think that the ring on his finger is just for show, or that frilly shit all over the bedroom belongs to his last roomate. Huh!
You can be sure that the only time it happened to me, they both paid in full.
I am going to attempt to answer the many personal accusations flung at me with as much calm as I can possibly muster.
First of all, let me point out that nowhere in either of my above replies did I say this woman was right to do what she did, nor did I say that she had A right to do it. What she did was without a doubt illegal. However, I do not for one moment believe that she should be classified as the bigger, or more cruel, offender in this situation. AFAIC, what he did to her far outweighs what she did to him. And yes, I am offended by those who seem to value possessions and material things over human life.
It is beyond my comprehension that people don’t understand the gravity of what he did to her. He is not just some “bad boy” who deserves a slap on the wrist because “all he did was screw around on her and break her heart.” What he did was knowingly, willfully and maliciously violate her BODY by exposing her to dozens of sexually transmitted diseases, many of which can be potentially life-threatening. His willful disregard for her HEALTH is, to me, exceedingly more heinous than her destruction of his property.
Things can always be replaced. People can not.
I am not irrational, thankyouverymuch. I simply have very strong feelings about the vileness of HIS crime against her, even when comparing it to her crime against him. Joe_cool says, “Even though she’s wrong, I have to snicker and try to hide my appreciation for her revenge.” That’s precisely how I feel, except that I didn’t hide my appreciation for her revenge - I voiced it, loud and clear. That hardly makes me irrational, just opinionated.
Again, I never said she “can,” or even should have, done any of that. Were she my friend and told me she was considering that, I’d have done whatever it took to talk her out of it. Again, I reiterate, it’s not right. She will suffer a lot of consequences because of it. But do I feel a bit of glee that some woman out there gave a cheating jerk a taste of the kind of destruction he wreaked on her? You betcha. Sorry if that offends, but yeah, I think he reaped what he sowed, even if I would (as I stated) never have had the balls to do anything like that myself (nor would I ever in the future).
This reply goes to Billdo as well.
I have no intention of ducking that question. For the record, if the situation were reversed and some guy trashed the house of his whoring ex-girlfriend because he found out she’d exposed him to diseases he’ll have to be tested for for the next 2 years, I’d be saying the same thing. Man or woman, a cheater is the scum of the earth IMO. No better than an attempted murderer, as they are potential murderers, no different than if they’d have been putting feces in their partner’s food and slowly poisoning them to death or sticking a gun to their head and playing russian roulette with their life.
I disagree, but thanks for the personal insult.
This is the tough one to answer without getting this thread thrown in the pit, but I’ll try. Mojo, you have a lot of nerve even attempting to place any blame on ME because I’ve had the misfortune of having been cheated on by lying, scumbag jerks who think only of themselves and not of the people they profess to love. (And for the record, it’s happened to me twice in the last 10 years. Hardly what I would call a record for driving men to stray.)
You know absolutely nothing about how loving, kind, understanding and trusting I am in my relationships. Yet you would dare to point a finger in my direction as though if my man cheated it must have been my fault. Hardly.
I take zero responsibility for the drug and alcohol problems my last boyfriend had long before he met me, and tried to conceal in order to woo me into his bed. I take zero responsibility for the fact that he courted me relentlessly, professed his undying love and convinced me that I was the only woman for him, all the while boffing the girl he told me was “just a good friend,” which I bought hook, line and sinker.
Am I bitter now, after the fact? You’re damn straight I am. He carelessly and callously risked my life. Unless you’ve been on the receiving end, you will never know the nightmare that your life can become when you wait for test results that will tell you whether or not you are going to die because you were stupid enough to fall for a very convincing liar. If my only “crime” was falling for a guy that wove a very elaborate web of deception, do you think my punishment should be death? Think about that for a minute, and then tell me that you don’t think I have a right to be angry.
I did not bring this on myself, and I really resent the implication.
You’re just plain wrong.
“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” - Anne Frank
The guy is obviously a loser. But on top of that he’s a pansy ass who won’t even 'fess up when he’s been busted. Rather than meet with them when they ask, he lies and tries to weasel his way out of having to admit the truth and be confronted by the women. (Of course now that he’s getting a little media attention and publicity, he’s quick to admit his affair.)
Personally, I totally understand why she’d be pretty upset. Especially after stewing for four days about the jerk cheating on her. I’m not condoning her behavior but he didn’t exactly help matters any.
Also, I’m more than a little amazed that the people on this board were quick to label her as the psycho. This guy cheated on her!!! Forget the stereo, the tv, and his property. Shayna was right about how he endangered her physical well-being. You can replace your personal possessions. You cannot replace human life. What he did was put her entire future at risk when he screwed around on her. That she damaged his personal property is wrong. I don’t deny that what she did was wrong. What I am amazed at is that no one here seems to value human life as much as they do personal possessions. He may have property damage but are we really saying that human life isn’t worth nearly that much. Do we really feel that trashing someone’s stuff is worse than putting someone’s life at risk?
Work is fine for killin’ time, but it’s a shaky way to make a living.
Yesterday I wrote a reply to the personal attacks and innuendoes (Hannibal Lector? Poleeeeze. Nice display of drama, but you didn’t win the Academy Award). I proofread my words and then hit the delete button, deciding it was PIT material and not fit for GD.
Thanks Shayna, for putting my exact thoughts into more appropriate words.
Shayna - until now, I haven’t said word one about this whole subject, only because the sentiments Diane stated above applied to me too. There was no way I could possibly respond without this whole thing ending up pit-bound. My thanks as well, for stating so succinctly my own thoughts.
As for the men who responded as they did (again, see previous posts), don’t waste any time, bandwidth, compassion, feelings, or anything on them. If they don’t value a woman’s life that much, why bother? They aren’t fit to breath the same air we do.
I stand by my statement- what you (Diane and Shayna) had written sounded like what a Jerry Springer audience member would hoot when watching “I Spit on Your Grave”.
And the “No better than an attempted murderer” comments are empty rhetoric that I don’t think need to be addressed.
Over a year ago, my then-boyfriend began cheating on me - sleeping with the girlfriend of his best friend, and for all I know, the best friend.
I didn’t find out until I had to go to the emergency room with abdominal pains. Because he had unprotected sex with another woman, he gave me a trichomoniasis infection that escalated into a bout of Pelvic Inflammatory Disease.
PID is pretty insidious. It can go undiagnosed for a while (in my case it went undiagnosed for nearly two and a half months). During that time, the infection created scar tissue in my abdominal cavity - scar tissue that may well render me sterile as well as cause complications by constricting my large intestine. Had it gone on long enough, it’s completely possible that the infection and scar tissue would have caused a bowel blockage that could, ultimately, have killed me.
That’s not even taking into the account that because he was so careless, he exposed me to AIDS, herpes, hepetitis, gonnorhea, syphillis, chlamydia, HPV, crabs, or other STDs. I’ve had to run multiple tests just to make sure that I haven’t been infected by anything else.
I’m not telling this as a sob story. I don’t excuse the actions of that woman. What she did was criminally wrong.
However, I don’t believe the man (or in my case, my ex-boyfriend) was any less criminally liable.
The tests and treatments for the trich infection and PID eventually ran up a medical bill near $1500 - at a time when I had no medical insurance. If I had required surgery, the costs could have spiralled into the tens of thousands of dollars.
My ex-boyfriend put my life in danger because he wanted to fuck another woman without a condom. I think that counts as assault. Had prosecution been an option for me last year, I probably would have taken it, but it wasn’t.
So why should the man in this equation be viewed as any less psychotic than the woman who destroyed his belongings?
Wouldn’t you say that since she was consenting to unprotected sex (BTW is this an assumption you have made?) that she, too, was risking the contraction of a disease?
WHEN WOMEN HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX THEY SUBJECT THEMSELVES TO AN UNNECCESSARY RISK OF STDs. A WOMAN HOLDS JUST AS MUCH RESPONSIBILITY AS A MAN FOR ENSURING THAT SEX IS PROTECTED.
Well that’s a very convincing argument. I can’t counter that.
Who said I thought he was any less psychotic? I said that they deserved each other and I based that on the poor judgement on both of their parts. I agree with the “Granted, destruction of property is not acceptable. But her over-the-top reaction is hardly unusual” sentiment of Aenea’s. But I thought that Shayna’s and Diane’s comments were pure ugliness.
Karma, in a monogamous relationship, all things being equal, the risk of contracting an STD is negated. Yes, the woman involved bears equal responsibility for ensuring safe sex, and in this instance, she did so by remaining monogamous. He broke his promise to her and had an affair, thereby opening it up to the chance of disease once more.
Or do you think that everybody should always use condoms no matter what the circumstances?
His webpage doesn’t say whether he was using condoms with his secretary or not. It also doesn’t say whether he was using condoms with his girlfriend or not.
Yes, I know condoms aren’t 100% effective in preventing the spread of HIV, but they do reduce the risk significantly enough that, if he was using condoms correctly and consistently, his regular partner would have about as much chance of contracting a fatal STD as she would of contracting a different fatal disease he picked up from touching a dirty doorknob.
The truth, as always, is more complicated than that.
You’re welcome, Diane. Given the intensity of my feelings on this issue, it was not an easy task.
Thank you for the support, Missy. And I wholeheartedly agree with that statement.
I’m sorry for what you’ve suffered, phouka. My ex also passed along an STD to me, which, had I not found out from his MOTHER that he’d been cheating on me, might have escalated to cervical cancer (it was already in the precancerous stage when it was first discovered). Thank goodness when she found out what a lowlife scum her son was being, she had the compassion and decency to let me know so that I could have myself checked immediately.
Good luck, and I hope everything turns out ok for you.
NO! They had a SEVEN YEAR COMMITTED RELATIONSHIP. I think it stands to reason that ANYONE would be able to rightly assume that it’s SAFE to have sex without a condom with a person in that kind of long-term relationship (assuming they were using some other form of birth control).
I KNEW some @$$hole was going to say that. That does NOT apply in this situation, nor did it in mine. Read phouka’s reply for exactly why you are completely off base here. And SCREAMING at me doesn’t make your argument any more valid.
And I think yours are pure hatefulness and RUDENESS. Never in any of my replies above did I once bring this down to a personal insult level. YOU are the one that did that, and frankly, it has NO PLACE on this forum.
Note to self: Ignore any and all future posts by mojo.
“How wonderful it is that nobody need wait a single moment before starting to improve the world.” - Anne Frank
