WARNING: Really bad movie coming

Cafe Society
#1

I saw Nemesis today, which was pretty good. But that’s not what this thread is about. While there, I saw a preview for a movie called The Core. I think that’s what it was called, anyway.

Here’s the plot, as far as I could piece together (the quotes are actual lines from the trailer, as far as I can remember them): The eeeeeeeevil military create a secret project that allows them to create and aim earthquakes as The Ultimate Weapon[sup]TM[/sup]. Something, naturally, goes wrong, and the earth’s core stops spinning. :confused:

As a result, somehow, the earth is ravaged by “super electronic storms” and “baked by microwave radiation.” In order to save the planet, some Crackpot Scientist[sup]TM[/sup] develops a vessel that can go to the center of the earth, so as to “jumpstart the earth’s core with 10,000 megatons of nuclear weapons”.

The crew is straight off the Movie Cliche Dartboard. You have the spunky techno-savvy whiz kid who is supposed to “hack the earth’s core,” whatever that means. You have the beautiful-tough-and-capable female pilot. You have the male hero type. You have the French dude who’s going along “not to save the world, but to save his family”.

All in all, this has the potential to make Armageddon look like a peer-reviewed NASA-produced film documentary on the everyday hazards of space travel.

I think I’ll stay home.

#2

Oh, I almost forgot. There are lots and lots and lots of shots of famous Earth landmarks being destroyed in a variety of violent ways. 'Splosions! Lots and lots of 'splosions!!!

#3

The preview admittedly looked terrible, but what a cast they assembled!..Aaron Eckhart, Hilary Swank, Delroy Lindo, Stanley Tucci, Alfre Woodard, Bruce Greenwood

Anyway, The Core is probably 2001 compared to Kangaroo Jack. Be very afraid.

#4

Damn, and MST3K is off the air…

#5

http://www.thecoremovie.com/

Also, the plot summary from IMDB:

Hmm…looks…good. Yeah, that’s the word…yeah.

And here’s a review.

#6

Earthquake Weapon stolen from Under Seige II: Dark Territory.

The rest of the plot stolen from Armageddon and every other modern lame effects driven disaster movie of the past few years.

What I’m curious about is, will the general American public dumb enough to shell out $8 a piece for this movie actually want to see this kind of destruction post 9/11?

#7

I completely agree. And The Hot Chick.

#8

No I have to say the Core looks worse. You have to see the trailer

#9

Wow! What a crapfest that’s going to be.

The HotChick is going to be bad too. They’re advertising the hell out of it. I think someone realized that the only way to make money on it is to get a big opening weekend. 'Cause once word gets out how crappy it is, that’s all she wrote.

#10

Actually, this is just the adaptation of the novel The Core which came out in the 90’s.

Some one wrote this crap and then convinced a publisher to pay for it. Studios can at least use special effects and big names to make money from a crapfest. But what excuse does a publisher have?

#11

I beleive the proper term for these “movies” is CRAPTACULAR.

unclviny

#12

Hack. . .the earth’s. . .core. . .

With what? A friggin’ shovel?

#13

Hey, this sounds like it’s the spiritual successor to '60s cheese-fest, Crack in the World!

http://us.imdb.com/Plot?0059065

Who says they don’t make 'em like they used to?

#14

Supposedly, they started filming the movie with no real idea of what they were going to do. They ran out of money, got some more money, and kept trying to figure out what they were going to do. Then they ran out of money again, got some more, and kept trying to figure out what they were going to do. And then they ran out of money again…

Yup, it’s gonna suck.

#15

Oh, The Hot Chick. That looks like the STUPIDEST movie ever made.

Whoever told Rob Schnieder he could act is surely burning in Hell.

#16

So close and yet so far…

Rob Schnieder’s career is due to a contract with the devil.
hmmm could The Animal be the beast of revelations?

The Hot Chick=The Whore Of Babylon?

#17

Admit it none of you expected to being hearing this a mere 4 years after Armageddon. I’ll admit that Kangaroo Jack looks so bad that I have to close my eyes when I see the trailer comes on (no, really, I do) but at least people know that’s gonna suck. Some suckers will actually go see this “The Core” suckfest.

#18

Rob Schneider durp a durp dur dur dee durp duh durp a durp durp durp! Rated PG-13
(was re: the next to last south park)

#19

Hmm… the core… stopped spinning… it spins?

I wonder if they’ll see Morlocks down there, or the Mole people.

“You can’t escape the wrath of the Mole people! Oh… darn…”

#20

Even the movie logo at the end fo the trailer looked liked it had been ripped off from Armageddon.

I’ve just been referring to it as Armageddon II.