I expected this to read: “Warning: You may end up pulling this out of your cat’s butt.”
Dell Laptop: Not safe for laptop use.
On dish and laundry soap: Not a substitute for dishwasher soap. Do not use in dishwasher unless you like cleaning up lots and lots and lots of suds. Trust us. We know.
Pubic hair removal here.
In a similar vein, candied ginger of any form should come with a label - “We are representing this as not only food, but as a delightful candy. Don’t be surprised when it tastes like toxic waste.”
That would be the famous brand made for a war and only usable as a candle or distracting for selling to tourists to take home with them. Those are at the checkouts in plain view. The many good tasting ones are in a different location in the store snobing their relatives at the checkouts. Try Dove bars for good chocolate for a good price.
Okay, you lost me on this one.
I’ve got ads for Soy Milk, 24Step Healthy Touch and Food Labeling Assistance (Avoid Violations. Have your labels reviewed by Compliance Experts.)
Erm, anyway.
On babies; We’re faster than you think. The only difference between us and kittens is opposable thumbs and the ability to jump. And we WILL bite the nipple that feeds us.
I say babies should be included because my mother has always stood firm on the fact that she got me free with a packet of chips.
Cell phone: You will either hate me or become so hopelessly addicted that the one day you leave me at home, you will break out in a sweat and get the shakes.
I got “Ever Do A Colon Cleanse?”
The type of chocolate that should be labeled “warning: Inedible” is Korean chocolate. Trust me.
On any electronic massaging device: Warning this isn’t realy used for massaging your back.
On Tiger Balm: Warning, not to be used as a sexual lubricant.
On nearly all cerial bars: Warning contains almost no dietry fiber, don’t think these are any good for you at all.
On more than one occasion I have seen guys take their car keys and insert them into their ears to clean out the wax. This just squicks me out.
Thin Mints: MORE ADDICTIVE THAN CRACK!!!
Ghirardelli ain’t bad, either.
On Wasbe green peas, or green chili:
After handling this product, don’t even think about rubbing your eyes, and especially putting in your contact lenses. No, not even if you wash your hands really well first. You won’t get it all, trust us.
On Puppys:
Warning: This product will take over your life.
I’ll take your word for it. 
The last American chocolate I had was called something like Hersheys Kisses. Bleh.
You hit the nail on the head without my having had to mention the brand. Nasty.
I have a friend who lived in America for six years and claims that Hershey’s is the best evar! lol!11. I’m a chocolate snob. Ew. No.
Kittens: We may appear to just be here to entertain you but we will train you well enough so that a 6"4’ man will give up half the bed for an 8 lb cat.
Ain’t that the truth. Just go for the chocolate already, and enjoy it.
You guys put way too much wax in your chocolate. And Hershey’s tastes like soap. Blech.
You… don’t like Hershey’s chocolate?
You realize, the War of 1812 was fought over lesser insults than this! 
Eeeeeh… no.
And one of my ads informs me that next Pope is John Paul II. Someone needs to smell a few cups of strong coffee from when I was barely in my teens!