Was this racist of me?

She needs to work on her technique.

On the one hand, you obviously prejudged her, based in part on her race. This fact alone would be enough for some people, like Ms. Frustrated Panhandler, to consider you racist, but it is in fact an unavoidable consequence of the way our brains work: we categorize and make blink-of-an-eye gut judgments, in your case correctly (and not based on race alone). There is nothing anyone can do about their gut feelings–just think how much the physical beauty of someone (hell, something) effects our initial response to them. Real racism, the much more hurtful and evil kind, needs both intent and conviction, neither of which you have.

Don’t let what she said bother you. She was being a bitch because, well, she was probably having another shitty ass day in a long series of shitty ass days.

I imagine if there’s some attribute about one’s self that has been and continues to be the target of true bigotry, it’s very easy to assume there is bigotry at work even when there is not.

Yes, I agree with this. There is something about the uber-polite “Excuse me, sir, <vague request for help>?” followed by a pause for acknowledgement that marks a panhandler. Once you’ve acknowledged them, you feel like an ass for just up and walking away.

I actually did have a well-dressed white-guy stop me in the same manner (NYC, 34th Street), he said something like “Excuse me can you help me?”. I just walked away because that’s what my instincts told me to do, but my friend stopped. Turned out he did just want directions. Oh well.

Are you a racist? Quite possibly. But she came off to you as a panhandler, and she was, in fact, a panhandler. I’m betting that her body language communicated far more to you than her race did.

Don’t apologize for getting a correct read on her.

I answer the phones where I work, and if the caller starts the conversation by asking how my day is going, without fail, it’s a salesperson or a scammer.

Same here. However, I’d probably immediately follow (without stopping) with what I wanted (e.g. “Excuse me sir/ma’am, do you know where the Liza Minelli Aquarium and Sperm Bank is from here?”). There’s nothing at all racist in assuming that somebody who starts with “Excuse me sir, could you possibly assist me?” and doesn’t clearly need help with a busted grocery bag or isn’t holding a map is probably wanting money, and attempts to play on possible white liberal guilt are a trick some non-white panhandlers have added to the repertoire (though not effectively in this case). With some white panhandlers, who can’t very well do this, I’ve had some make the appeal to Christian guilt (“You go to church and tell ‘em how you passed your brother in the street in his time of need and did nothin’!” to which I just remarked “Will do, have a blessed day”).

Panhandlers are probably the most evocative people on Earth in terms of my latent but extant “Inner Conservative”. I used to be the softest touch on Earth but the older I get the more Cartmanish I become. I still occasionally give some change or a cigarette at least but usually I walk on by without making any acknowledgement that I even heard them.

I can usually pick out a panhandler. There is something about the approach that they use and perhaps the body language. I’ve even had someone try to panhandle me when I was working in the yard.

I had one guy claim that he was a preacher from Oklahoma whose moving truck had broken down on the highway and he needed to give money to the driver who only took cash and he has a corporate card only and doesn’t know the PIN. He also said his wife was a doctor and they had bought a home down the street. When he used the line, “this isn’t a bad neighborhood, is it”, I knew he was trying to play me.

Thing is, he didn’t look the part and moreover he didn’t sound the part. His story didn’t make sense either. He said his accountant told him that they should only have a credit card for the business and use that exclusively. People in my neighborhood tend to be cynical anyway so I can’t imagine that it would have worked.

You can have certain racial stereotypes working within you and even some bias (both almost subconscious) and not be a racist.

It works like this for people of all races when dealing with others. Chances are that she was approaching people who she thought had money, and I wouldn’t be surprised if her own built-in stereotypes and internal bias caused her to approach more white men than anyone else.

This cuts both ways. I’ve seen a fairly young, decently dressed white female several times say, in the midst of her spiel, "I know I don’t look your usual panhandler . . ., I’m clean, I’m young . . . . " Sure, she could have meant something else, but having lived in the City for 25 years, I’ve heard it in all of its nuances.

Myself, I say “Excuse me sir/ma’am” when approaching unaware people in cars, where I’m about to ask them if they’re vacating their parking spot and will they hold on for a moment while I bring my car over so I’m sure to get that spot. To me, it wouldn’t do to just suddenly walk up anybody’s car window here in New York, especially at night and shows respect.

I get much more interesting reactions though, now that I’ve grown a quite straggly, salt-and-paper face- and nape- beard, due to a medical that doesn’t allow me to shave, shape it up, or groom the way I’d like to.

Panhandlers in NYC always have a story. Here begging is more abrupt and monosyllabic.

You’re not the racist, she is. She was trying to guilt you into giving her money. And I hope you meant “spit” figuratively.

Well lets just say white women also wouldn’t act that way :stuck_out_tongue:

Honestly, she probably doesn’t feel great about what she is doing and her reaction to quelch embarassment is to get really angry.

According to the Spy Museum, a privately owned museum in D.C. with several former CIA officials and operatives on its board of directors and shareholders, the number one disguise for a spy doing surveillance in a major city is usually a homeless person. Also according to them, D.C. has more spies than any other city in the world. You also see more homeless people there than in almost any city- some of them so visibly deranged that it almost seems an act, so the guy talking to himself about Cheerios and Jonestown at the Dupont Metro stop is probably really tracking a Chilean ambassador.
I’ve wondered if when an undercover operative “becomes” a homeless person if they panhandle. On the one hand it would seem to get in the way of doing surveillance, but on the other it would seem to make them more believable and, by being more visible, make them more invisible.

So anyway, next time you’re accosted and feel guilty for not giving, just remember that you’re really fighting terror. The guy is probably there to collect microfilmed maps of the Chicago sewer system and names of al-Qaeda operatives that have been placed in a waterproof canister that looks just like a day old dog turd (which they actually had one of in the Spy Museum).

Panhandlers love the guilt thing.

After you refuse them, it’s always, 'well, god bless you. Jesus loves you and have a beautiful day."

Not that I believe in god, but I can recognize the angle.

Anyway, it’s pretty easy to recognize a panhandler regardless of race.

I’d like to explain, “No, it’s not because you’re black. It’s because of the 1000 other times someone has come up to me in this town asking for help, or a minute of my time, they’ve been looking for a handout.”