"We do not need an invitation. We do not believe in it."

The BBQ Pit
1

You fucking cunt.

What a horrible thing to write in your son’s birthday card. You only sent that card so you could get that message across, loud and clear. Well, I got your message too. Fear me.

Guess what? I don’t want you at our wedding. You abandoned your son when he was at his lowest point. You showed nothing but disdain and ignorance. Your love was conditional on his being heterosexual, apparently.

Guess what? You’re not going to be my mother-in-law. And your active alcoholic, abusive husband will not be my father-in-law. You were not parents to him. Therefore, you will not be parents-in-law to me.

Guess what? He doesn’t want either of you in his life. That’s why he legally divorced you and changed his entire name. Therefore, I don’t want you in my life - our life - either.

Guess what? If you attempt any further contact with your former son, I will take legal action to prevent you from doing so ever again. You are poison to him, and to me.

It’s over.

Know what? I’m going to tell my parents how much I love them, and how much I treasure their unconditional love. They will be there for me, on my special day. They want nothing more than for their children to be happy. They know that it’s not about them, or their friends, and what they think.

Know what? I’m going to do everything in my power to make your former son happy. I’m going to give him everything you didn’t. We will happy, joyous, and free. The best revenge is living well.

Know what? There won’t be two empty spaces in the church, or two empty seats at dinner. You aren’t invited to my wedding. You won’t even know where we’re having it, or when it’s going to be.

And I’m not inviting you to leave your former son alone. I’m telling you.

Because, so help me God, I will shield and protect him from both of you.

I’m glad I’ll never have to meet you. Because God have mercy on you if I ever did.

2

Ack. Good for you scott.

3

Wow, what a bunch of assholes. Sorry you even had to deal with them, if only for a minute.

4

Oh, scott what a dreadful thing to do. In a birthday card, no less! What horrible people.

I suggest you return any more letters from them unopened, with REFUSED written on it in nice bold letters.

I raise a cafe mocha to your happiness.

They are small minded people, not worth your fretting over. Treat them as an elephant does a fly…not worthy of your attention.

5

Your NON-in-laws can bite my butt!

The wedding will just be all the more fabulous without their disdainfully spiteful faces mucking up the scenery.

Nasty, nasty, nasty, old farts!

6

Oh, God. That’s awful. On a birthday card, no less.

You are better off without them. I know it is a cliche but it is true. After cutting off contact with my Father-in-law our lives are much easier. But it is still hard to be forced to make that decision.

Good luck, and congrats on your big event.

7

You’re a very good person, Mr. Evil.

8

They’re not parents. They’re just asshats.

Just put “Return to Sender” on anything else they send.

9

On the plus side, thank Og that you are getting married. Had a good friend once that was in a 20+ year committed gay relationship. Got sick and his parents would not allow his lifetime partner to visit (the hospital had to go along, as said partner was not technically immediate family). These folks sound like just the sort of Neanderthal fucks that might pull something like that.

For this, and so many other reasons I support gay marriage.

10

My wife and I halfway wish that at least one of our (eventual) children turns out to be gay, just so we can be an example of the right way to be loving, supportive parents. And if that means we wind up with one of our kid’s friends sleeping on our couch when their fucked-up family kicks them out, then so be it.

11

Ok, call me dense but i don’t get it. Are they threatening to come to your wedding without an invitation because they “don’t believe in them,” or are they just saying they don’t need an invitation to a wedding they weren’t invited to anyways because they don’t believe in gay marriage? Either way they are asshats, though.

12

Ow. I was expecting a light rant about party-crashers.

The mind boggles.

13

Good for you Scott. “The best revenge is living well.” Love him like they didn’t. I hope your lives are long and happy together.

Maybe they’ll come around someday… but I’m guessing not. Too bad. :frowning:

Best wishes for the upcoming wedding. Three cheers for Scott and Jeremy!

14

Hm.

Perhaps what they shooda said was, “He didn’t turn out the way we wanted him to, so we don’t want him any more.”

Hell of an attitude.

Theirs, that is, not yours. Best of luck, and every happiness.

Whether I believe in it or not…:smiley:

15

Go right for the old jugular, scott. Bon courage.

16

Wow.

The parallels boggle. I feel you. No, seriously, I do.

I divorced my entire family 4 years ago. Luckily it happened two days before my birthday, so I don’t have to establish a new one. I sat down one day, after one too many last straws, and tried to inventory anything good I’d ever gotten from my parents. This is the sum total I arrived at: from my father, good teeth. From my mother, table manners. That’s it, in toto. Everything else I ever got in my life that was good I got despite my parents, or only through unlearning what I had learned from them.

I have so far not regretted my choice. Starting on that day, anything that ever came in the mail was returned opened; any time they track down my number, I treat them like a telemarketer.

Extended family members that I still keep in touch with (a couple of farflung cousins) assure me that it was the best thing I could have done, and have entirely supported me in this new phase of my life.

So scott, sometimes it really IS best just to found a new dynasty. I am now an only child; I’m my own patriarch.

I wish you strength and joy in your new lives together.

17

What an obnoxious thing for her to do. As a side note per your history of the situation, how does an adult son or daughter “legally divorce” their parents? Is this a Canadian thing?

18

lissener alleged:

Careful, that’s an ( almost) married man you’re talking to.

More seriously, scott, I am sorry to hear of your troubles and wish you every happiness in and after the Big Fab Gay Wedding.

19

How about sending her back a card that says…

“We don’t need your approval and no invitation was forthcoming. From here on out, we don’t believe in you.”

God, I’m so amazed that there’s still so much ignorance, fear and hatred in the world. What utter and complete fools! It will be a good thing that they remain completely out of Jeremy’s life. My best to you both and know that y’all will have the happiest, best life together ever. Cheers to the future evils!

20

Wow. Just when I think humankind can’t sink any fucking lower, they surprise me. You will BOTH be better off with these people out of your lives.

My godfather was disowned by his family for being gay - my family became his family, and his partner became part of the family when they got serious. When my godfather died, none of his family even came to his funeral. Fucking wastes of energy. He died ten years ago and God, I still miss him desperately. I would give anything to watch him marry his partner right now.

Congratulations to you and your future husband, scott. I wish you all the best and hope you’ll be kind enough to share pics of your special day with your fellow Dopers:).

Ava