'Scuse me Bumba
misstee we call mine Victoria as in victorious;)
Gotta admit I like Pole Vault
getting back to the topic:
shroom works for me
Tab A
Hmm… I knew my copy of The Book of Odd by Stephen J. Spignesi would be useful in this regard. 
I apologize in advance if some of these are a little (or a lot) crude.
195 Euphemisms for the Penis
Ass Opener
Baby Maker
Bald-Headed Hermit
Baloney Pony
Banana
Battering Ram
Bean Tosser
Beef Bayonet
Best Leg of Three
Bishop
Blow Torch
Bone
Boy
Broom Handle
Bug Fucker
Bum Tickler
Burrito
Bush Beater
Bushwhacker
Candle
Carrot
Cherry Picker
Club
Coral Branch
Crack Hunter
Creamstick
Crimson Chitterling
Crotch Cobra
Cucumber
Dangling Participle
Dart of Love
Ding Dong
Dingus
Dipstick
Divining Rod
Dong
Donkey
Dork
Dragon
Dribbling Dart of Love
Drumstick
Eel
Eye Opener
Fishing Rod
Foaming Beef Probe
Fool Sucker
Frankfurter
Gardener
Giggle Stick
Girlometer
Gooser
Goose’s Neck
Gravy Maker
Grinding Tool
Gun
Hair Splitter
Hammer
Hanging Johnny
Holy Poker
Honeypot Cleaver
Horn
Hose
Irish Root
Jack-in-the-Box
Jiggling Bone
Joy Stick
Kidney Scraper
Kosher Pickle
A Ladies’ Delight
Ladies’ Lollipop
Lance of Love
Licorice Stick
Life Preserver
Live Sausage
Lizard
Lobster
Love Dart
Love Muscle
Love Pump
Love Sausage
Lung Disturber
Magic Wand
Master of Ceremonies
Matrimonial Peacemaker
Maypole
Meat Whistle
Middle Leg
Milkman
Mr. Happy
Muscle of Love
Mutton Dagger
Nag
Needle
Nine Inch Knocker
Old Slimy
Our One-Eyed Brother
One-Eyed Milkman
One-Eyed Monster
One-Eyed Pants Mouse
One-Eyed Trouser Snake
One-Eyed Wonder
One-Eyed Worm
One-Eyed Zipper Snake
Peacemaker
Pee-Wee
Pen
Pencil
Piccolo
Pile Driver
Pilgrim’s Staff
Pink Oboe
Pioneer of Nature
Pipe
Pisser
Pistol
Plug
Plugger
Pointer
Poker
Pole
Pork Sword
Prong
Pump Handle
Quim Wedge
Ram
Rammer
Ramrod
Raw Meat
Reamer
Red Hot Poker
Rod of Love
Rolling-Pin
Rooster
Root
Roto-Rooter
Rumpleforeskin
Rump Splitter
Saint Peter
Sceptre
Schlong
Schvontz
Schween
Screwdriver
Serpent
Shaft of Cupid
Short Arm
Silent Flute
Skin Flute
Small Arm
Snake
Spigot
Split-Ass Mechanic
Stagg
Stallion
Star Gazer
Stick
Stretcher
Stump
Sugar Stick
Sweet Meat
Swizzle Stick
Sword
Tail Pipe
Tally Whacker
Tent Peg
Thingamabob
Third Leg
Thumb of Love
Tickler
Tool
Torch of Cupid
Toy
Trigger
Tube
Tube Steak
Tummy Banana
Uncle Dick
Wand
Wang
Water Spout
Wazoo
Weapon
Wedge
Weenie
Whacker
Whang
Whang Bone
Whanger
Whip
Whistle
Whore Pipe
Worm
Wriggling Pole
Yum-Yum
Zubrick
F_X
GOOD HELL Flami! I don’t know whether to be impressed or scared that you typed that long thing!
ehehehehe she said “long thing”
I forgot flippin your switch
Clithulu
The Beast That Causes 1000 Young
And if you haven’t seen this yet…
http://www.extremefunnyhumor.com/fun_dearpenis.htm
(You’ll need Flash)
James T. Kirk.
Meat Banana
Vaginal Thermometer
Mr. Stickit
Kitten Killer
Monstro
This one is from my SO: purple headed yogurt slinger.
And even though it really isnt a euph, I have to share: I crack up when my SO says “cock”, because he pronounces it “cack”. Haha, I almost find it cute, hehe.
Don’t worry, it only took me five or ten minutes. (maybe I was still buzzing off the caffeine from the cappuccino and the two bubble teas I had last night)
Breathe in deeply now, and calm yourself down… if that’s what you need, of course! 
F_X
I’m listening to ‘Pet Names for Genitalia’, a parody of a Billy Joel tune. As listed in the song, they are:
Mutton Dagger
Old Blind Bob
Hanging Johnny
Fishing Rod
Tally Whacker
Pocket Rocket
One Eyed Trouser Trout
Ding Dong
Ankle Spanker
Pork Sword
Engine Cranker
Hairy Hotdog
Davy Crockett
Wang
Wazoo
Wienie
Whacker
Pecker
Peepee
Kidney Cracker
Heat Seeking Moisture Missile
Gigglestick
Love Whistle
Tube Steak
Uncle Dick
Purple Helmet Warrior
Any warped doper may email me to obtain the .mp3 file of the song, as I’ve long forgotten where I found it.
Well, it may be pronounced throatwoarbler-mangrove, but it’s spelled Norman Luxury Yacht. 
Mjolnir.
Excalibur.
Meatsaber.
Flesh cudgel.
When I saw this OP the first thing that came to my mind was
Nicolas Cage in * Peggy Sue Got Married *
[Nicholas Cage]
You mean my Wang?
[/NC]
One of my brother’s high school classmates got saddled with a very unfortunate name (I’ve shared this any number of times before)… I was just thinkling that it COULD work as a new euphemism.
Jack Wang
His middle name is Off, I suppose; right, F_X?
Male Brain Override Module
Mini Me
Evil Twin
Lord of the Pies
Busta Hymen
Thriller
(bump)
We still need more.
Can’t have too many names for man’s best friend…
How about ‘Spam Javelin’?
on the subject of female masturbation euphimisms:
Flicking the bean
diddling the skittle
double clicking your mouse (I love this one because it actually looks like that, my g/f technique anyway…)
tickling the budgies tongue
From Varsity Blues:
The male erection. Pitchin’ a tent, sportin’ a wood, stiffie, flesh rocket, tall tommy, Mr. Morbis, the march is on, icycle has formed, Jack’s magic beanstalk, rigor mortis has set in, Mr. Mushroom-head, mushroom on a stick, purple headed yogurt slinger… oh, and a pedro.