Maybe an odd post, but we find ourselves in our latter 50s with plenty of money but nothing to spend it on. Inspired by the “What are you looking forward to?” thread. I just looked at our retirement calculator for 2025 and it says $200,000/year. We donate a bunch to charities, Direct Relief and the Himalayan Cataract Project, as well as local causes. I used to be fired up about fast cars and motorcycles, now I’m arthritic and there’s no track around. I ride a little bit, but mostly hike and run. We’re heading to the Middle Fork of the Salmon tomorrow, but we’re not travelling that much. Don’t spend that much on food–good pizza is just fine–or booze. I feel like we need to find some joy, and need some inspiration. Ideas are appreciated.
And, FTR, this is not a stealth brag. I had to get a new shoulder last summer and am still in pain. My wife has MS and had a mastectomy a few years ago. We are fortunate that these issues didn’t break us financially (maybe a bit mentally).
I recommend spending money on experiences, rather than stuff. Travel is good, if you like that. Otherwise, have some nice meals (if you like that). Perhaps volunteer for some local charities, in addition to donating.
If you don’t mind an armature diagnosis, it sounds like you guys might be suffering from a low grade depression. That wouldn’t be surprising given the health issues (and everyone is still recovering form the pandemic years). Maybe some therapy?
As far as looking for fun things to do, the possibilities are endless, especially since you have the budget for most things. If we had more time, we’d spend it travelling. Three days NYC, or a week in Mexico. Things like that. Depends on how severe your wife’s MS is I guess. (sorry to hear about that)
Even staying at home, we like to follow sports (MLB and college football). If that’s not for you, there’s theater, opera, music of all kinds (and some people enjoy dance, for reasons I can’t quite wrap my head around).
I guess I don’t have too much useful advice, but wish you well.
I don’t accept the distinction. Stuff that allows experiences is the best kind. I buy tools and things that expand the experience of what I can create. Not only do I get experiences out of them, but they’re repeatable rather than one-shot (like, say, an expensive meal or a trip to some faraway place). They provide a persistent improvement in my life.
Joy is useful as an alternative to fear. Maybe you need to find more meaning instead of joy?
Prioritizing physical and mental health, including taking active steps to keep the mind agile, are more important than many understand. Doing things one enjoys remains important, as does continuing to find new things. If one cannot find something locally, maybe one can combine some travel with renting fast vehicles and still enjoy past hobbies.
As to what is meaningful to you? In addition to what has already been mentioned, might you consider more education because you always liked something? Starting a business with a benevolent purpose? Travelling - with groups or to unusual place or family and friends?
Sure, if you’re into, say, woodworking, than a lathe or a nice plane would allow you to make stuff. But lots of stuff (artwork, china, crystal, silver, etc.) is just that. I know my parents are trying to downsize the amount of stuff they have as they age and they certainly don’t entertain the way they once did.
I agree that a lot of stuff is just stuff. And often a net negative when you take into account all the other things, like making space for it or cleaning or whatever. I certainly have no use for fine china.
But I see the “experiences, not stuff” thing a lot and think it doesn’t make the right distinction. Look at purchases as a kind of investment in your own happiness. Favor things with a repeatable, long-term benefit. And where there are not diminishing returns. Stuff that enhances a hobby, whether woodworking equipment or a musical instrument or whatever, tend to have returns that increase over time. IMO, that is less true of many pure experiences, which get less interesting the more you do them (fancy meals, going to bars, etc.).
There is some foundation that supports NPR that has a tag line I will paraphrase: “The something foundation believes that true happiness comes from a life of helping others.”
That may sound simplistic/glib, and it certainly it isn’t the answer if you volunteer to do something you don’t also enjoy. But surely there must be some form of volunteering that would work for you, as in it would engage your interests, connect you to people you can stand (don’t volunteer to tutor children if you don’t actually like kids, for example), and hopefully give you some satisfaction.
Personal example (this doesn’t sound like it would work for you, but it’s the kind of thing I mean): I love to cook, which means I can produce irrational amounts of food. So two of my most favorite volunteer activities have been cooking for others - teachers at a free school for immigrants in Egypt in one case; for homeless AIDS patients in Boston in the other. The latter’s dinners were run through a church, and the people in charge assigned one part of the meal to each volunteer - so I got to make 40 desserts, or 40 salads, etc. We then had a big communal meal, volunteers and homeless alike. I think I did that 2x/month many years ago. It felt like a great use of my talents, and was also a chance to show the most downtrodden of people some badly needed respect and compassion.
If there is some kind of volunteer clearinghouse in your community, I’d start by checking in with them.
I agree strongly. OP, would it be possible for you to share expertise, with relatives, and/or others? You sound like you might know a thing or two about car and motorcycle mechanics.
I am. We’re new to this community (well, 5 years, but COVID). I’ve helped a couple folks with their bikes, but it was a thanks, 6-pack. We used to spend real money on experiences, but as health diminished not so much. Also, done the carbon math on a week-long diveabourd in Fiji? Dirt-biking locally is like planting trees.
We are both depressive. My wife is controlled bipolar, I’m hanging on by the skin of my teeth due to Lexapro. I’ll likely have to get my neck fused next spring, and I’m truly scared. Each surgical visit they ask “Do you have any suicidal thoughts?” And my Lexapro answer is, “Not yet!”
We have the most awesome dogs–they play and play. They are my #1++++ source of joy. Both are new–one last Nov and one this spring. The sweetest boys. Pics in the pet thread.
Send me an application… I am open to helping the Dope or Dopers. Come spread gravel in Bozeman MT next week and I will pay you handsomely and put you up. Well, week after next. Salmon/
Allergic to cats! But when we were in between dogs (sorta) we got to sit with a few heeler puppies–total joy, and a little bleeding. We’re on the E side of the range, but our teenage Pit wakes us up a 5:50 am on the dot, so if there is a sunrise we see it. Ding dong is off barking at ghosts as we speak.
Just one simple sentiment that expresses my particular strong bias, and you’re of course free to feel different, as many others do. But do you have a dog? Or several dogs?
Paraphrasing the writer Aaron Katcher, “a dog is like a child who never grows old – always there to love and be loved”. Dogs are the product of millennia of domestication, creatures that retain the noble instincts of the wild while imbued with an unswerving loyalty to their human. Dogs are not human, but they are humanizing; their capacity to love unconditionally and to be loved in return enriches our own human lives. They are a challenge and a lot of work to bring up from puppyhood, but it is a work of rewarding love.
Just a thought. You can adopt, you can host foster dogs, or you can do both. Or of course you can ignore this whole message if that’s not your thing. You could also contribute to animal welfare agencies that get far too little funding compared to the untold billions pouring into human aid agencies, but it’s infinitely more rewarding to have direct contact with the animals. I speak from long experience.
