Well, the good news is that jeevgurl is now jeevfiancee.
The bad news is that the wedding planning is turning out to be slightly more complicated and emotionally fraught than the Israeli/ Palestinian peace process. Initially, we were planning a small ceremony (immediate family only) in Hawaii. However, my parents advised us that doing that would be considered an unimaginable insult to my relations and close friends, who apparently have some kind of entitlement, according to Indian custom, to share the day.
So now, we’re stuck trying to plan a wedding ceremony for over 100 people, which is far more than jeevfiancee wants, but which she is willing to endure to keep the peace, and that’s even with some serious caps on her side. (Apparently, there are whole towns in New Jersey that would have to be invited if we open the floodgates). And neither one of us has time to work through these issues. (We just bought a new construction home, and the process of making that habitable takes up enough of our time, and jeevfiancee doesn’t want to wait past the end of this year.)
Anyway, does anyone have any recommendations for a wedding planner in the Chicago area? The chief criteria is someone who actually listens to their client and does not try to impose his/her view of what the perfect wedding is or should be. We are not extravagant people, and the whole process is likely to consist of simply a civil ceremony followed by a brunch buffet. I need a planner who will be on board with that and try to make that happen, rather than insisting that we need everything that the editors of Modern Bride recommend.
But you need a purse to go with your wedding dress! And cheesy plastic swans filled with jordan almonds to give to your everyone! And wouldn’t it just be an absolute sin if you didn’t have a personalized, individual wedding cake for each guest?!
Sadly, I have no recommendation for you (although I did put in an email query to a recently married Chicago friend), only empathy as I’m doing the Hawaii thing (just in Florida) next June with a “have it your way, mom” reception back VA next December. (I suppose it’s too late to convince them of that?)
Something to consider, though: if you can get through the pain of looking at nearly every site in the greater Chicago area and actually pick one, many of them come with their own wedding planner, often times included in the price of the package.
And a good rule to use with your parents to prevent the entire eastern seaboard from being in attendance: if you wouldn’t invite them to your house for dinner, you shouldn’t invite them to your wedding. (Of course, there are exceptions, but it’s a pretty good way to narrow the list quickly.)
This is an Indian/ Sicilian wedding. Both cultures where the concept of family is pretty extended. We tried the post-facto reception idea, but were told that this would not prevent an insult.
As far as the site goes, the problem is that I simply don’t know every possible site that would fit our criteria in the greater Chicago area. (jeevfiancee has decided that she does NOT want to get married in a hotel ballroom or some similar venue, so that’s out, even if I were in favor of it.) And I certainly don’t know which are likely to be available on the specific date we have in mind. (And there is a specific date that has to be in mind because we can make it overlap with an Indian holiday by doing so, and prevent a flow of relatives from India).
I heard back from Chicago Friend, who informed me that she got married in… Hawaii. :smack:
She says, though, that she’s heard of receptions at both the Field Museum and US Cellular Field that were for several hundred people. (Those definitely aren’t ballroom.) That doesn’t put you any closer to a wedding planner though.
Anyway, good luck, and I forgot to say it before: congratulations!
**jeevmon, ** my congratulations once again, followed closely by my sympathies. I can’t even conceive of what a pain in the ass this all is. Someday maybe we can all collaborate on a multicultural etiquette book.
I do have a couple of friends who had smallish (maybe 50 people or so) and rather informal-type receptions at the Winnetka Community House, and even provided their own food for the most part with help from friends and family. Their primary concern was cost, but the setting is both beautiful and intimate, and lends itself to a variety of arrangements (plus there’s a beautiful garden out back for pictures, if you want to do that sort of thing). I’d be happy to talk to both couples in question for you if you want. (For one thing, it’s been a few years, so I can’t remember what the capacity of the room it.) Another friend had a reception at the Three Arts Club, which is a bit bigger and more centrally located, but I believe they’re also flexible in letting the couple determine what sort of thing they want. Just a couple of ideas; we can obviously talk more about it later.
I also seem to remember seeing books on locations for Chicago weddings; it might give you some ideas and cut down on the legwork. Maybe a nice, relaxing Sunday morning trip to Borders is in order?
Well, it was just an Amazon search for “Chicago” and “wedding.” And geez, don’t be so Mr. Instant Gratification! It was just an idea, for discussion with **jeevfiancee, ** of course (because I know you’d never do anything without her approval after the Barbecue Incident, right?)
I recently went to a full out Indian wedding complete with the week-long festivities, hours of Indian music & dancing. I swear abotu 500 people were there. Man, what production. It makes my impending nuptuals with 150 people seem like a small dinner party.
Anyhoo… for what it’s worth, I know of a gal who is also getting married in Chicago. She is getting married on a boat that will cruise along that river that you guys have over there. It’s certainly something different and has the added appeal of forcing you to cap your attendance numbers because the boat has a max capacity. Your guests will also get to do some sightseeing in the process.
Talk to a full service florist and get recommendations on caterers, locations, etc. A good florist will have worked with many venues and service providers, and may be able to help you pull together what you want for a reasonable price.
Unless you’re doing the full Hollywood production with coordinated theme everything, you may be better off with a good notebook and some friendly suggestions.
Now, if you were getting married in the Houston area…
I view a planner in kind of the same way as I view a real estate agent. I don’t have time to scout locations, make calls, etc., so I’m going to hire someone else to do it. Yes, I could save money by doing it myself and still get a good result, but I prefer to outsource stuff like that so I can get to my core competences of drinking beer and belching.
