Okay, so I have been talking to this guy through an online dating site, and we exchanged phone numbers and all that jazz, and everything seemed normal. Then he asked me if I wanted to go with him to a BDSM group meeting. Now, I don’t care what people do in the bedroom, but am I alone in thinking this is a weird, weird, weird place to invite someone on a 1st date? He has no idea what I am like, sexually or otherwise. Why in the world would he think that was a great place to take someone on a first date? If anyone can top that, I’d like to hear about it!
I think it’s weird too, for a first date. Maybe he’s just trying to figure out if he should bother (assuming that bdsm is that important to him).
I was once invited to an AA meeting as a first date. I am not in the program and this person knew I wasn’t. No, I didn’t have a drinking problem (and I’m not in denial about it). He just thought it would be a nice place to hang out.
We did end up going not to an AA meeting but to an AA dance, which was okay. The meeting would have been weird.
But I don’t think I can top a bdsm meeting. You win so far!
If I understand this culture correctly, there is no “goal-oriented” sexual behavior, unless consented upon.
Thus, wouldn’t going to a SMBD (which is an interesting scramble of SDMB) club/party relieve the pressure of the good-night kiss?
That’s even weirder than the guy who invited me to a picnic which turned out to be achurch-sponsored thing where they were bound and determined they were going to save us all. Unfortunately, we’d all been taken there by bus, so there was no way to escape. I managed to avoid playing their game, and I never had anything to do with that guy again.
I’m not going to go into my personal behaviors and preferences, because that is really neither here nor there, I am just saying that is so strange to me to consider bringing someone into a situation where they may or may not be comfortable. I honestly think that the three conversational taboos-sex, politics, and religion, should also be considered dating taboos. Don’t bring me to a republican fundraiser if you don’t know my political stance, etc. Though I do have to give him points for coming up with the most original date idea I have ever heard.
Well, in order to get into a successful relationship, it helps to find people who are into the same things you are. That way, you have more in common, and can relate on more subjects and levels.
If his girlfriends really need to be accepting of his interest in BDSM (and, if he is really into it, there’s no other option, is there?), then this is one way to cut to the chase. Real, real fast.
Yikes! I can’t think of anything worse than a Bedding, Duvet, Sheets and Mattresses meeting.
What? She said it had to do with the bedroom.
I think that your guy beats Clock Boy, who gave me a clock at our first meeting (not even our first date, mind you). Then again, I might have been able to handle the BDSM invite easier than I handled being presented with a clock. <grin>
I’m with Ethilrist. If the dude wants to be in a relationship where BDSM is an accepted part, better to let you know now. It’s going to have one of two reactions, most like. 85% are going to be freaked, like you, and then he knows there’s no reason to date them, because they aren’t compatable. The other 15% are going to say “Great! I had no idea how to bring it up to you, but I love that stuff!”, and then he’ll know that they’re worth buying dinner to see if they’re compatable in other ways as well.
–Cliffy
Are you sure he wasn’t a dyslexic Doper?
A guy I worked with asked me to join him for lunch, and while we were eating he started telling me more about himself.
He started with how, as a kid, he used to drive his BigWheel car down his front steps over and over, mostly resulting in spectacular crashes. Then he told me proudly that he’s got a tube in his head to drain it because his brain swells a lot now (his explanation, not mine). Ick.
I have nothing against people who need tubing in their bodies. What really disgusted me was his pride at how his flinging himself down the steps resulted in a permanent brain condition.
“He started with how, as a kid, he used to drive his BigWheel car down his front steps over and over, mostly resulting in spectacular crashes. Then he told me proudly that he’s got a tube in his head to drain it because his brain swells a lot now (his explanation, not mine). Ick.”
Wow…I think we may have a new winner.
While I can’t top Brain Tube Boy, I did have a first (blind!) date where the guy took me to the Mutter Museum of medical oddities, meaning that we spent the date looking at 19th century penile injection devices, preserved skeletons of conjoined twins, and other pleasant, romantic stuff.
There was no second date.
I dunno GilaB, that sounds like a cool place to go for a first date!
I met a blind date through a newspaper ad. Feeling we’d both prefer a public meeting we met at the county fair, arriving in separate cars. Which seemed like fun, but there are two kinds of people at the fair, it turns out. Those who like the animal exhibits, and those (me) who smell the cow pens and head the other direction. So half the time was fun and half was torture.
I think there’s two categories here. One is the just plain odd or stupid first date activities. The other is the “trial by fire” category. If your date thinks the idea of spending days wandering across the Montana badlands searching for scraps of Parasauralophus bone is stupid, better to find out as soon as possible before you get attached to them.
For our first date (aside from a brief meeting for drinks), I took Pepper Mill on a ride up the Tacky Highway, Route 1 north of Boston, where we saw the Giant Orange Fluorescent T. Rex (with Fluorescent Green Eyes), the Giant Chinese Palace of Weylu’s, the Giant Polynesian Hut of Kowloon’s, the Giant Saguaro Cactus of Hilltop Steak House, the Giant Ship Restaurant and the New England Harbor Village of Christmas Tree Shop. Not to mention the infamous Golden Banana.
And she still married me.
Wow, that’s gutsy Cal, I never show a girl the Infamous Golden Bannana till at least the third date 
(sorry, couldn’t resist)
I’m the least original dater ever. I think just about every first date I’ve brought a girl on was to a mini-golf place. Everyone likes mini-golf.
For our second date, I took my wife to a three-day outdoor rock concert 400 miles from home, where we slept in a tent in a dirt parking lot.
If a woman tooke me there on a first date, there would definitely be a second. I would have to find out if she was just a morbid lunatic, or if she was -the one!