While perusing the regional press I came across this gem today…
News from Yorkshire
Extract from the Yorkshire Evening Post:
“A drunk who claimed he had been raped by a dog was yesterday jailed for 12 months by a judge. Martin Hoyle, 45, was arrested by police after a passing motorist and his girlfriend found a Staffordshire bull terrier, called Badger, having sex with him at the side of a road in Huddersfield, West Yorkshire.”
SO. MUCH. FUNNY.
…so my new fellow dopers - got any favourite/weird/funny ‘local news’ stories? Don’t be shy now…
How do you recover from the shame? I think the only way would be to take it head on and revel in the infamy; go on chat shows as The Man Who Got Shagged By A Dog. Certainly your life could never be normal again after that, could it?
<<blushes>> why thank you all for your kind welcome… After lurking for so long, I thought I should make a proper effort to start… I guess I just wanted my first post to go with a…
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bang?
“The couple were extremely offended and sickened by what they saw.” … Hoyle, who has had a long-standing alcohol problem, was jailed for 12 months after he admitted committing an act which outraged public decency.
This would be one of those things that go beyond offensive to hilarious. Two humans having sex in public would be trashy; an adult beating a child blood-boilingly offensive. But if I’d encounter something like this (or as I actually have: while driving with my daughter, we once had a big laugh when she pointed out the bum on the corner waving at cars while his pizzle was hanging out), the act itself would be of less concern than that the perp was so mentally ill that he’d do something else equally weird but this time truly dangerous.
Of course, that’s just me. I admit I watched the horse-fucking-the-guy video, fully understanding that it or may not be the incident that led to the man’s death earlier this year in Washington State, and still thought it was funny as hell!
You didn’t come across this gem today - as this “gem” has been around since at least 1999.
Also, the “article” itself is of doubtful veracity: it is ascribed to different newspapers, but always as an extract, never with a link to the article.
Not surprising, since this is a story that should set off anyone’s BS meter.
I know a guy that actually had sex with a sheep (unlike Hal Briston). The worst part about the story is that the sex act with the sheep was not the end of the story. I guess whatever happened next was worse, and he never would tell the rest.
WITNESS: Your honor, I saw that man take his trousers down and molest my sheep. JUDGE: Would you please clarify that statement, ma’am WITNESS: He pulled down his trousers, had sex with my sheep and when he had finished he walked around the sheep and had it mouth his penis clean. ONE JUROR TO ANOTHER: Oh my! Have you ever heard of such a thing? OTHER JUROR: A good sheep wil o that for you…
