(Pulls out can opener. Crank crank crank crank POP! Run free worms, you have been liberated!)
Why does the OP consider using a toilet rather than a urinal somehow weird, for a male? I know we have had threads on this before, but I just wanted to come in and respond to this notion again. Is this about keeping masculinity score somewhere? And not using a urinal is lowering someone’s score - which is just NOT DONE, one must NEVER lower one’s masculinity score by sitting to pee?
What’s weird isn’t that he sits to pee, or that he uses a toilet instead of a urinal. What’s weird is that in 7 years of working together, I’ve NEVER seen him do anything but sit down. That’s what I find odd. I’d have thought in some 1800-odd workdays, I’d have seen him use a urinal at least once. But nope. After the first year or two, I noticed the thing, and since then, it’s been more of a “Where’s Waldo?” type thing to see if he ever actually uses a urinal or even stands to pee or not.
Sitting down to pee is like getting up off your recliner to turn the channel on the actual TV when you could’ve use the remote sitting right there next to you.
That being the case, I’m going to go with what others have said - it’s more about you than him. Can you say with certainty the you have been in the bathroom observing every time in 7 years that he has been in there? If not, then it’s more likely confirmation bias on your part. And your cataloging of other’s habits is weirder than their habits.
Maybe “paper towel penis holding guy” told “stall guy” that Bump likes to stare at your junk when you’re standing at the urinals. Thus that being the reason why stall guy is stall guy.
I used to react to this when I read about it in earlier threads. Not because it lowers one’s masculinity score (although surely it does 
) But because I have never heard of such a thing, or even considered the possibility. Peeing is done from the standing position. Period. Ignorance has been fought, and I now am much more mellow about the whole thing.
Sheesh… it’s not like I have a spreadsheet where I log this stuff. It’s just something that occurred to me after a while, and that afterward, now I pay attention. Not because I’m desperately interested, but because it’s kind of one of those things I can’t un-pay attention to.
I mean, if you saw someone doing something 3-4 times a week, every work week for 7 years, you’d probably notice, despite your better inclinations, that they always or never did something. Like if someone was in front of you ordering lunch 3-4 times a week for 7 years, you’d probably realize it if they literally NEVER ordered anything different. It doesn’t mean that they don’t ever order anything different when you’re not watching, but that in that many times of being by them in line, they’ve always, without exception, ordered the same exact thing.
And it does seem that he craps a lot, based on the sounds and the toilet paper roll rattling, so maybe he’s got some kind of gut problem. He doesn’t seem terribly healthy to me.
Whatever. You probably have a storage locker full of poop diaries/logbooks. Seek professional help, you fascist.
I had a colleague like that. He had had his colon and rectum removed due to a wretched excess of precancerous polyps. Those particular organs are responsible for removing water from your digestive effluent to provide a relatively firm, compact mass, and for providing a convenient place for that mass to collect; with both of those capabilities gone, he did indeed make frequent trips to the bathroom.
He made no secret about his medical history, and none of us regarded it as a “weird work bathroom behavior”; it was just a fact of life for him.
So that when someone else comes into the restroom to use the toilet and sees the door hanging partway open the way it usually does when it’s not in use, they don’t assume the stall is empty, fling the door open, and smack you in the ass, sending you face-first into the wall above the toilet.
Ok, we can all agree that “in the land of sun & fun, we dont flush for number one” is controversial. So, I get it, flush after using the urinal or dont flush. Save water and the environment or save your sensibilities. Not here to condemn either.
But there’s always one guy who flushes before and constantly during. Dude-* this is California- we have a water shortage. *
Um…I guess there is that. I’m visible a above the stall, so it didn’t occur to me.
Very simple: she wants the end stall, just like you do. But it’s taken. So she takes the next-best one.
I recall reading a study done by some college sociology prof where they put a hidden camera in the public part of multi-stall restrooms to record which stalls got used.
After they had gathered enough data, the review revealed that in an otherwise empty bathroom pretty much 90% of stall users (female or male) picked the one furthest from the door. His hypothesis was that folks were assuming everybody else used the closest one, so by using the far one they were getting the cleanest, freshest stall.
But since almost everybody thought the same thing, they were all inadvertently sabotaging each other and using the dirtiest, most used stall of all.
The takeaway is that if you want clean, take the one by the door. You’ll also find the next person entering will probably use the far one, thereby leaving the max empty space between the two of you. Win Win!!
I am thinking that the second guy has a piercing or is uncut (maybe with Phimosis). This is sufficient reason to sit else he spray all over the place.
Bob
Or maybe it just takes him a while to get started and he’s worried he’ll get some funny looks standing at a urinal holding his dick in his hand for five minutes with nothing coming out.
At my work, the only odd bathroom behaviour I’ve noticed is people who bring a cup of coffee inside and set it down by the sink. (Presumably to season the disgusting smell of coffee with the delicious smell of farts and turds.)
Maybe your stall-peeing colleague is Muslim.
BOTH feet at 2:00? Wouldn’t that be rather uncomfortable for the left foot?
We used to have the phantom shitter. She would leave her droppings alongside the toilet. We narrowed it down to two women; luckily, neither are employed with us anymore.
We also have the grunter. Self-explanatory. She’s an otherwise nice woman, but you can hear her 10’ away through walls.
Lastly, we have Lysol Lady. She brings her own can into the bathroom and Lysol bombs the whole place, even if she just urinates. I know management has spoken with her, due to a few coworkers have sensitivities.
:eek: Wha… how… that’s… OK that wins the weirdest bathroom behavior.
I went to the toilet once a day, sitting down, for the best part of 45 years. I didn’t need to use a urinal until I started getting an enlarged prostate.
Maybe if you cut down on the secret drinking you wouldn’t spend so much time in the mens room???