So I’ve worked for the same company for nearly 7 years, and have been located on the same floor that entire time. I’ve noticed some really odd behaviors in the bathroom on the part of a few of my co-workers.
2 guys stand out in particular.
One guy always gets a paper towel and uses it to hold his dick when he takes a leak. I haven’t ever seen anyone do this before, but in 7 years of working here, he’s always done this. It’s like he doesn’t know where it’s been; personally, I’m much less worried about my own junk than anything else in that nasty petri dish of a bathroom.
The other guy is a guy who I have never seen take a leak. He always takes a dump, or pees sitting down or something. In 7 years of working on the same floor and using the same bathroom several times a day, I have NEVER seen this cat just take a leak at the urinals.
Anyone else have any bathroom oddity stories they’d like to tell? Surely I’m not the only person with some peculiar co-workers?
I worked with a guy whose feet were pointed at about the 2:00 position every time he took a crap. What up with that?
Also, learn to use the God damned paper towel dispenser correctly people. Grab with both hands and pull down, like the little pictorial instruction says to do. That way what’s left is about a four inch piece, with nice serrated edges, for the next person: me! If you rip the paper towel off then after I wash my hands I need to fiddle with the side rotational thingy, and God knows who else has been fiddling with it all day.
I don’t think the happy smiley belongs there, just the dubious one. Noticing and cataloging other people’s bathroom behaviors is weird. What is this, Jr High? Why are you even glancing at actions below the belt at the urinals? Doing a comparison? (“Water’s cold.” " Deep, too.") Eyes front!
Yeah, I admit agreeing with you two. Just a guess, but maybe the second dude mentioned in the OP, who always chooses a stall instead of the urinal, doesn’t want people judging his behaviour at the urinal, where he’d be more visible?
Sometimes you can’t help but notice what others are doing. A guy at my work always take a dump in the public bathroom with one stall and one urinal, when there is a private bathroom right down the hall. If I walk in the public one and he is in the stall I of course leave immediately. But sometimes I’ll be at the urinal and he will go into the stall, sit down, and start talking to me. It’s horrible.
A couple dudes who won’t touch their own junks. One of them is clearly broken about touching anything, and is always walking with his hands far out to his sides. Cracks me up. Added irony for being a smoker. Other guy just stands there with his fists on his hips in a Superman pose while he does his thing. People are weird.
One guy used to take his shoes and pants off, and set them in a neat little pile on the floor of the stall when dumping. He’d just chill out on the throne with his bare ass legs and socks. You couldn’t *pay *me to put my socked feet down in the piss-area! Gross!
One guy that has to spit in the urinal before use. Every time. Never seen him spit outside of that, though I’ll admit that’s not something I’m vigilantly looking out for. It’s just odd.
We’ve got a woman at our workplace who sings every time she goes into the bathroom… the entire time she’s on the toilet until she flushes. The walls are thin - she can be heard even outside the bathroom and down the hall. Whenever the singing starts, people call out “Mary’s on the toilet again!”
How about the guy that rubs his butt furiously with toilet paper? If I didn’t know any better I’d think it was Homer Formby in there sandpapering a knothole.
One theory is that both of these gentlemen suffer from hypospadias, a malformation of the urethra that can make it impossible to achieve a nicely collimated stream of urine. Possibly the first fellow’s problem is minor enough to be solved with a paper towel in hand, and the second fellow has no choice but to pee sitting down, lest he irrigate everything in his vicinity.
On the whole I agree, though sometimes the behavior is hard to ignore, like what Fluffy PickleSniffer described here, or like the guy I used to call the “bathroom whisperer” who would give himself a pep talk under his breath (but still loud enough so you could hear that he was doing that, even if you couldn’t make out the words), the whole time he was in the stall.
But that was less bothersome than the fact that he never stopped to wash his hands at the sink on the way out. Thank goodness he retired a few years back - gone, but not missed.
My desk is quite public in a well-traveled corridor, and I’m at the beck and call of five demanding attorneys. When it’s bathroom time, I like to use the most remote stall at the furthest end of the ladies’ room. I look forward to my two precious minutes of quiet private time.
So why does the next woman who enters the ladies’ room always choose the stall right next to me? There are three others to choose from that would leave a buffer space of at least one stall between us. I guess other folks just love togetherness in the potty, and I’m the weirdo for wanting just a little space for just a little time.
I hate that, but we only have a two-stall layout, so there’s no choice. The thing is, it sooooo damned quiet in the washroom. I mean pin-drop quiet. I wish they would pipe in muzak or something, anything.
Now that the weather’s nice again I stroll to the cafeteria for privacy. In fact I’ve been there twice today.
The “other” ladies room, which is single occupancy, is right across the hall from my office. Guess what it’s used for? Just shit upstairs, ladies. Thanks.
Maybe if I posted a notice about how sound-proof the door isn’t, it’d get less traffic.
Anther thing I find curious…there’s only one urinal in the men’s rooms, so if it’s occupied you have to use a stall to take a leak. Amazed at how many dudes will go in, lock the door, then stands there and pee. Why lock the door??
Yesterday, I walked into the ladies’ room. In one of the stalls was some woman having a very loud conversation in what I think was a dialect of Chinese.
Those who didn’t wash their hands really grossed me out. I quit doing potlucks at work because I couldn’t be sure about the basic hygiene of my coworkers. ick.
One of the most annoying things I encountered some years back - one of my coworkers would wash her cereal bowl in the bathroom sink, rinsing her Froot Loops down the drain. So when I’d go in later and wash my hands, colorful cereal rings would float out of the drain! Seriously? You can’t use a paper towel to wipe the solids into the trash before rinsing your bowl?? Made me wonder what her Drano budget was.
Look, ma, no hands!