Weirddave is a goat felching asshole who fellates camels

The BBQ Pit
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I have noticed a some threads lately where posters argue about what is an insult, and who it is OK to insult. This thread is a prime example. In the interest of peaceful co-existance, I offer up myself as a the official target of the SDMB. Go ahead, let lose, flay me to the bone with your words. Someone being an asshole? Tell them they are being Weirddave-like. Don’t like something? Say it’s worse than a Weirddave. No longer will posters have to post long explanations about how they “didn’t mean it that way”, y’all have got me, the perfect minority of one, begging to be a victem. Have at it!

[sub]Hmmm. If I’m gonna be the new poster boy for offensive behavior, I better do something offensive…[/sub]
Yesterday, I was getting new tires put on my car. Having nothing to do while the brain dead working stiffs took a break from their crack smoking to put the tires on, I walked down the street. I’m amazed these hillbillies know enough to work machinery when they aren’t knocking up their sisters or arguing who gets to leave the trailor park to pick up the next batch of 40s, but I digress. A guy asked me for a drag on my cigarette. I didn’t mind letting him have one, but he nigger lipped it. Then I went into a pawn shop. Squeezing my way past Queen Latoya, who was trying to pawn a (most likely) hot stereo in order to supliment her welfare check (hey, smack is expensive, and near the end of the month the government dole obviously dosen’t go far enough), I asked the guy behind the counter if I could see a camera lens in the case. This fucking dot had trouble understanding what I wanted. I should have talked to the raghead, but eventually, he showed it to me. It was a nice lens, and I bought it. The cammel jockies wanted $50 for it, but I jewed them down to 30. Bunch of sand niggers! They just wanted to rip me off so they could afford to buy more terrorist stuff on the black market, I’m sure. I dunno why we even let them in the country in the first place. Goddamn heathens killed Christ, you know. As I left, 2 rump bunnies squeezed in past me. My God, why they allow perverts like that in public is beyond me! I hope I don’t get AIDS or something, one of them touched me. I noticed the two of them swapping disease laden spit at the bus stop later. In a just world, we’d put them all in camps for our safety. Suppose they saw a child or something? It’s not safe to leave the house anymore, I tell ya! When I picked up my car, I noticed that Joe Six Pack had done a good job, and boy was I supprised. I guess that’s the good thing about going in the mornings, they haden’t really had time to get drunk yet. Anyway, I made it home alive, in spite of the fact that half of the other cars on the road were being driven by women. Driven? more like a controlled crash. They should just stay home and bear babies, cook dinner and argue about makeup. Most of them are fucking around on their boyfriends/husbands anyway, the sluts. Oh, I tell ya, it’s good to be back on the lilly white, Prodistant SDMB!

[sub]What’s really scary is how easy that was to write.[/sub]

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No, no! You took it out of context! I swear! :rolleyes:

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What’s the difference betwen a sadist and a masochist?

A masochist says, “Whip me, beat me, make me suffer.”
A sadist says, “No.”

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Gee Zeus key riced!

It’s not jest yer homosexyoualls that’s a menace.

Ya got yer UFO septics and the FBI listenin’ to yer phone.

Plus the Pope’s got newclear weapons, and that’s a fact.

Wake up, boy! Oswald didn’t kill Martin Luther King. A clear case of suicide is what it was.

My wife’s so tall she can stand flat-footed and piss into the radiator of my ‘61 Chevy pickup, but you don’t hear her carryin’ on about that Levy guy.

5

This has to be, without a doubt, the most vile, offensive, embarassingly awful piece of fucking spew I have ever, in my 24 years, had the misfortune to read.

I mean, for christ sake, press the “Enter” button once or twice. And spell check! Honestly, it’s like some people don’t care about the English language anymore. It’s insulting.

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Shit, dave, you missed fat people, left-handers, and people from New Jersey. You’re losing your touch.

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Dave, when someone else says you “fellate camels” it’s a slam. When you note this yourself, it’s called a confession.

[sub]That said, you seem to have omitted Texans, the French, Asians, Democrats, Republicans, Scandinavians, Atheists and the Illuminati.[/sub]

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I dunno, Enderw24.

I think that Dave wrote it that way on purpose. It’s very much in tune with the context.

A rant like that, properly spelled and correctly paragraphed, just wouldn’t have worked.

Dave, I thought it was inspired. Good work.

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Or did I just get wooshed here?

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You also forgot the damn commies you bastard.

Osip

BTW nice bullseye ya painted on yourself :slight_smile:

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hee hee. I’m so “suttle!”

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::Slip buries his face in his hands::

My first woosh. I’m so embarrassed.

Next time, post a disclaimer, would ya?

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Dave, dude, you’re so gay.

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[quote]
Dave, when someone else says you “fellate camels” it’s a slam. When you note this yourself, it’s called a confession.[/quoite]

[Wayne’s World]He blows goats. We have proof.[/Wayne’s World]

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Whew. At least the Dutch weren’t mentioned! :eek:

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That’s gonna be in his next installment, Coldie.

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Does felching a goat while fellating a camel require some sort of specialized bendy-straw?

I ask only out of idle curiosity, and it has nothing to do with the menagerie in my yard.

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Weirddave, you’re so weird.
And, you’re a numpty.

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Numpty?

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Yes, as in Humpty-Numpty, hard porn for the under ten set.

Well, he was involved with all the king’s horses and all the king’s men at the same time.

:smiley: