Weirdest names you've ever heard

[nearwildheaven]

Another one: At the time that I met him, my BFF was in an LDR with a woman named Melena. In this case, it was pronounced mel-EE-na; the medical term is pronounced mel-uh-nuh. I’m surprised the OB nurses, who should have known, didn’t try to talk her parents into at least changing the spelling.

They broke up not long afterwards (no big surprise) but he heard later through the grapevine that she was working as a medical transcriptionist. Of course, he never told her, but she knows now what that name also means.

p.s. Might help if I posted a definition. If you have this, call 911.

Melaena - Causes - Diagnoses - Management - TeachMeSurgery

[EinsteinsHund]

@dtilque

Thirty-odd years ago, there was (and may still be) a large sign visible from the autobahn near Stuttgart. It was a heart-shaped logo with ASS written on it. It looked a lot like the logo on some playing cards I bought there and indeed there is a company with that acronym that makes them.

Yes, there’s a company named ASS manufacturing playing cards. It makes sense, because “ass” means “ace” in German. There’s also the common last name “Assmann”, though I don’t know the etymology of that name. .

[WildaBeast]

@EinsteinsHund

There’s also the common last name “Assmann”, though I don’t know the etymology of that name. .

I’ll never look at that Seinfeld episode the same way again…

[cmkeller]

I guess it was Ernst Stavro Bloefeld (or perhaps Willard White) who claimed them as dependents?

[Bookkeeper]

@Senegoid

Plausible, I suppose. I mentioned, above, the Everybodytalksabout clan, which I found listed in a Blackfoot genealogy on-line. I’d expect a name like Stands At The Door there too. Well, I didn’t find that, but there a Rides At The Door clan, and Rides At Door, and Rides Behind and Rides In The Middle clans.

I recall coming across Stands-at-the-Door as a name a couple of times when I worked in the Social Insurance Registration office here in Canada. It may be a Cree or Athabaskan/Dene name.

[Mark_Finn]

My cousin’s dentists were: Dr. Gordon Payne (for the kids), and Dr. Karen Pepper (for the adults). (you don’t usually use the first names when referring to them).

A family surnamed “Fuchs” moved near us - they were recent immigrants from Europe. Within a couple of months, they had changed their name to “Fewkes”.

[DrDeth]

No, some people from Africa, with what we’d consider typical african names. They said they wanted to give their kids American names since they were moving here.

[needscoffee]

@Bookkeeper

I recall coming across Stands-at-the-Door as a name a couple of times when I worked in the Social Insurance Registration office here in Canada. It may be a Cree or Athabaskan/Dene name

(Original poster here) What my friend and I found humorous was the juxtaposition of the first name Myron with the last name Stands-At-The-Door. Like a mash-up of cultures.

[wolfpup]

@EinsteinsHund

There’s also the common last name “Assmann”, though I don’t know the etymology of that name. .

Also spelled “Assman”. There’s a Dave Assman and a Dick Assman and several other Assman relations in Saskatchewan (and no doubt in many other places). Dick Assman was made famous by David Letterman, spawning a brief “Assmania” craze, while Dave Assman became semi-famous because the Saskatchewan government refused to issue him a personalized license plate reading “ASSMAN”. He came up with a brilliant solution.

[Czarcasm]

I swear on the grave of my father that when I was a growing up there were a couple of brothers named Genghis and Kublai Cohen.

[I.Dunno]

When I was a rookie maintenance mechanic in the '70s, I was sent to assist the elevator mechanic one morning on a call from one of the freight elevators. I will never forget the elevator operator’s first name because my partner greeted him with “Hello Darling”.

By the way, my highly regarded ophthalmologist’s last name is Blinder.

[needscoffee]

@I.Dunno

By the way, my highly regarded ophthalmologist’s last name is Blinder.

Lol! Some profession choices are just pre-ordained. (I have a good friend with that surname.)

[Czarcasm]

@I.Dunno

By the way, my highly regarded ophthalmologist’s last name is Blinder

I did not see that coming.

[Face_Intentionally_Left_Blank]

I used to work at a call center, fielding calls for a large cellular carrier. I collected unusual and funny names. I moved awhile back and lost the list, but I can remember a few.

These are names that passed a credit check, so no nicknames.

• Huck Finn
• Virginia Hamm
• Nippy Toe Jackson

Bummer that I can’t remember more. I had a whole sheet, front and back. I disqualified most names that seemed to be a cultural thing, unless they were really unusual or a mouthful. I had a co-worker that I told about the list, and she had one for me - her own. The name I knew her by was common for a woman - Lynn or something - but her real first name was Omega, and she went by her middle name. They names her, “Omega Lynn.” Her older sister’s first name was Alpha. So, they were the alpha and the omega.

I went to high school with a guy who’s last name was, “Louse”, and he kinda was, but he pronounced it “Lowse”

[I.Dunno]

I see what you did there…

I was very lucky to get this doctor. I went to the ER several years ago with what I was afraid was a torn retina. (Problem turned out to be a common thing for people getting older, something to do with the gel in the eyeball liquifying or some such, and was something I had never heard of up to then.)

Anyway, the ER doc told me a very good eye specialist was around the corner and would squeeze me in. And he said, “now, don’t be put off by his name…”

[Paul_was_in_Saudi]

I keep a list in my notebook. When the page is full, I post the list elsewhere. Since you asked, here it is:

T J Duckle spokesman for the Biden campaign

June September April called into an NPR game show

Husband E Kimmel Admiral of the US Navy was in command at Pearl Harbor

Charles Horatio McMorris of the US Navy. Everyone called him Soc for Socrates

Brigadier Kevin Admiral of the US Armor Center

Luke Easter played for the Red Wings

Chris Leather of the RCMP

Issac Campbell Kidd Commander of the USS Arizona

The Mumbles Railway Act of 1804

George Francis Train was important in the development of street trams.

Amanda Baltimore played in a Jeopardy! teachers’ tournament

Brenda Lucki of the RCMP

Robert Thunder of the Minneapolis police

Mario Crow Ghost lives in Bullhead SD

Will Humble works in public health in Arizona

Sage Green lives in Buffalo New York

Bree Newsome Boss enjoys climbing flagpoles

Trip Harrison works in county government in Mississippi

Vince Champion of the International Brotherhood of Police

Sally Buzbee executive editor of the Associated Press’

Phil, Plourd, Bliming & Associates is a big cheese in the US cheese trade

Jonty Bravery is a horrible person. Do not Google him.

Amen Brown lives in Philadelphia

Osmund Somers Cleverly is on my list

Lovely A Warren is mayor of Rochester New York

Filemon Vela is a congressman from Texas

Dr Ker Otter works at the Univiersity of British Columbia

Gary Gunlock may be a pen name. Still, I like it.

Dan Froomkin is a media critic

[MrAtoz]

I don’t think anyone has yet mentioned the pioneering figure from the Industrial Revolution, Isambard Kingdom Brunel, which I maintain is the most badass name in the history of the world.

[Ludovic]

Not bad: it reminds me of the title that British monarchs have as sovereigns over the Isle of Man. The splendid title is Lord of Mann.

[Chefguy]

@nearwildheaven

I had a HS classmate named Kelly Green.

That’s the name of the guy who owns the pot store around the corner.

[Bijou_Drains]

My son’s car got hit by another driver and her first name was Honey Bee.