We have plenty of goats on hand. A new herd was delivered last week. The old ones were getting kinda…skittish. And manky.
We’re getting goats by the herd now? What happened to all those ‘shortages’?
We got these goats from an overstock place. They were ordered for a massive sacrifice, scheduled to take place to thank the Elder Gods for Kerry’s victory. 
Ah. An unexpected victory, and we benefit.
Who says theological competition doesn’t have its good points?
On the other hand, I don’t want to be around when Cthulhu finds out what happened…
[sub]Tentacles! Why is it always tentacles…?[/sub]
Considering They[sup]TM[/sup] still let me post here, I don’t think you have much to worry about.
Welcome and nice entrance!
Just remember, if there is any attention whoring to be done, please leave it up to the professional. I’d hate for someone to get hurt. 
j/k
Hal, did you remember to at least hose the goat down after the last time?
Nobody wants Hal cooties during a goat felching. 
Don’t worry 'bout it…after every…errr…initiation, we load 'em all up in a back hoe and drive 'em through a car wash. Freshly washed and waxed goats for all!
Truly tasteless to follow:
But did you do the interiors?
And I’d also like to welcome you, Nordic. I don’t think there’s a rule against newcomers welcoming other newcomers.
Thanks for the response, folks. I thought I’d throw out at least one big, attention-whoring post simply because it’s the absolute antithesis of my style. I’m normally a reserved, quiet person (in real life as well as on the boards), and I figured my rebirth on the Straight Dope is a big enough occasion to bend the rules a little…
Well, december has been banned, but another month has now joined the SDMB ranks. Welcome, June! Of course, you may find vanity searches a bit difficult…
And it is!
June, if you’ve been lurking long enough you know by now not to listen to a
damn thing that comes out of my …keyboard.
Truly, no offense was intended. 
Welcome also, Nordic!
Sorry I missed you that first time.
Welcome, June! I had Baphomet for my… er… initiation, but you can borrow him. He’s all cleaned up now, right, Hal?
Hi June, and Nordic. I’m kinda new here too… and I don’t post much for the same reasons… geez, I’m already feeling stupid. I have the same problem June, it takes me so long to edit my posts, and by the time I’m done, it doesn’t make any sense. :sigh: I used to be so good with words. This place intimidates me.
But I am well and truly hooked! I spend most of my spare time lurking on these boards. And during the day I’m constantly thinking of ideas for new threads - good ones too! I just don’t have the patience to make my posts perfect. And if they’re not perfect, people will pick on me. 
Sure, I’ve heard of goats! I wouldn’t be qualified for my post as goat minister, otherwise!
what?
You shouldn’t start a sentence with the word ‘and’.
just sayin’, is all.
You can’t (technically) start a sentence with “just”, Mr. Goat Minister. Gaudere’s Law strikes back.
Actually, you shouldn’t start a sentence with “just.” Obviously you can. Rufus just did. But you shouldn’t.
I piss on Gaudere from a considerable height!
June,
Be afeared not:
- Some us of make mistakes grammatical nothing of which is to afraid be. Some oftren more than others. Speling mistakes too. Hell, some of us post drunk. . .
- I echo Bippy. . . 'Lo June Bring pie?
- Hi Opal!
- Welcome back!*
Tripler
[Kotter]Welcome back, welcome back, welcome baaaaack . . . [/Kotter]
silenius, this is the second time you’ve said something that I have found offensive, both times concerning moderators. Just what is your problem here?
your humble TubaDiva
Administrator
And some of us also consistently post coding errors. . .
Tripler
:smack:
Pissing on mods is bad–see Tuba below. I walk a mile in Gaudere’s shoes instead; that way when I criticise her, I’m a mile away and I have her shoes.