The collective that is the Straight Dope has assimilated two more souls. Please give a hearty Doper welcome to jkusters and thomasm (who won’t respond anyway, 'cause he’s a wimp).
I love 'em! Don’t you? I knew you would…
Esprix
Welcome, jkusters and thomasm!
How could we not?
jkusters’s post in your Pit thread still has me giggling.
thomasm can’t be all bad. Even if he is too wimpy to post. 
Welcome to you both!
Welcome, welcome, welcome. Any housemate of Esprix a housemate of… err, considered a friend of mine.
And yeah Esprix after seeing jkuster at work in the pit I love him too. I’m sure thomasm isn’t a whimp, he’s just shy. He’ll talk to us in his own time, won’t you dear ?
Unless you have been revealing board secrets about the newbie hazing, sacrifices and goat sex again Esprix. 
Nah, he went over all of that when we first met in IRC something like, oh mi god, 10 years ago.
-JOhn.
No, that was actually about the Unitarian Universalist initiation process.
Michael
I just got here myself, but welcome jkusters and thomasm!
Welcome to the both of you!
::MsRobyn goes into the kitchen and makes tea cakes with fifties in them for jkusters and thomasm so they’ll spill the dirt on 'Sprix ::
Robin
Well, what I see here is that Esprix has just recruited spies for the folks of the SDMB.
No more will it be a secret that he’s spent the last 22 hours in his bedroom with an Asian boy and a vat of custard.
No more will it be a secret that he’s wearing hot pink underwear with happy faces and hearts on them - nor will it be a secret who gave him said underwear.
And at long last we’ll find out exactly why he has that heart/groundhog/electric swing tattoo in a place usually only seen by the boys in his bedroom.
In short, jkusters and thomasm, if you play your cards right, your time here on the SDMB could be not only fun and informative but also profitable. Not to mention useful the next time you need to determine whose turn it is to do the dishes. Yes, boys, welcome aboard.
(And Esprix? Thanks for showin’ them the way. I know I have been wondering about that tattoo for quite some time.)
Welcome Dark overlords of Esprix’s mortal soul!
Welcome, jkusters and thomasm.
Very big welcome!
Everybody should have a multiple Doper household.
And yea, the Pit beginnings made me laugh!
[approaches with grace and style]
Welcome, friends of Esprix.
[smiles darkly]
You have chosen a strange and narrow road.
[smiles oddly]
It is to be hoped we will make ourselves good friends to you, over time.
[smiles goofily]
And that once I finally persuade my luddite family to join us y’ll pretend t’be my disciples! YEEEHAAA! Whoopwhoopwhoopwhoop!
[immediately arrested]
[again]
I hope you have a very good time.
I do.
Welcome to the boards, guys. Please be aware that it’s standard procedure to install hidden cameras throughout members’ homes, for security reasons.
Personally, I put on little shows for them all the time.
Oh, do tell. DO TELL.
No, really, DO TELL.
-JOhn.
Forget the telling. When can we see the pictures? No, not ours. MrVisible’s.
Eh, jkusters cracked me up in chat, so he’s okay in my book.
Hi to you too, thomasm.
Um, was there something I missed? I mean I really like it here and all, but, uh…
Well, anyway!
WELCOME GUYS!!!
jkusters, loved your “Tramp will kill me!” I’m sure thomasm will make his mark as well.
You DO plan on spilling ALL of Esprix’s deepest, darkest, secrets, right?!
Welcome to the SDMB. You won’t be leaving.