Since you’re offering me twice my going rate for your annual audit, I’ll give you a hint: If you want to call your secretary’s breast implants “capital improvements”, I will look the other way when it comes to the management letter at the conclusion of the audit. That way, you can depreciate them–I’d say, on the straight-line basis with an estimated useful life of 10 years, if saline; 5 years, if silicone.
By the way, Mr. Plnnr, that’s SOME petty cash account you have!
I make sure that if you get sick and call 911 then I take the call, make sure the ambulances all work and get despatched to you super-quick. Hey, it’s gotta be done and I know how to do it.
It’s little but important role and it’s the best one I can fill, especially since Kyla nabbed that whole bookstore gig. I would be hanging out at Kyla’s bookstore in my spare time, chatting and suddenly interrupting people who are quietly browsing with recommendations based entirely upon my judgement of their personality.
Spokespeople for Dopeville Town Manager Mr. Plnnr have announced in a press release that in the best interests of the people of Dopeville and to lie waste numerous erroneous rumors of pandering to citizens’ wallets for political gain, he will personally pay all expenses at Skerri’s for Tahiti Night.
Though completely unfounded, the allegations have nonetheless harmed the sterling reputation of service carefully cultivated by the manager’s office, and he wishes to make ammends.
I live in the big scary house up on the hill and the towns children whisper about the scary witch with the long silver hair and dare each other to go into my yard which resembles a cemetary.
Persephone I was thinking about opening a small shop in town and would be looking for someone to run it.
Lots of herbs and ritual stuff to be sold.
Chief! Chief! I just found out why the City Manager wants to close the TV station down so badly! He’s gonna turn it into a Breats Enlargement Center! He’s tired of driving his secretaries all the way over to Rival Town to get the…errr…jobs done!
What? Your car? Uhhh…you have a car? Really? Go figure.
<Looks down, realizes he’s still wearing a grass skirt and a lei over his trenchcoat>
This? Oh, well, I had to stop by the Tiki Party downtown. Y’know…to interview people. Really.
A heart-wrenching story of a single mother’s fight with her boss…he forced her to get breast implants, and has subjected her to numerous unwanted sexual advances…
Watch her tears flow as she bemoans her plight…and we reveal who this sordid individual is…tonight, only on WSD…
(Cut off my water and sewer…HA!)
Oh, and thanks to all those who came to my side…FREEDOM OF THE PRESS IS NUMBER ONE!!!
Now, plnnr…can I buy you a drink at Tahiti Night…just to show there’s no hard feelings until the next political brouhaha, of course.
Oh good, Jester. Glad you’re back. We need to have a little talk about some of your copy. My sources at the AP assure me that “puppy-kicking” does require a hyphen when you’re using it as an adjective. Also, minty and bristlesage over at the law office say it may be libelous. Unless, of course, you actually saw the city manager kicking puppies. And if you did, I think we’ll need to move that up to the lede.
Now what say you and I put this issue to bed and head down to Tahiti Night? I’ve got a few hours to spare before I have to start the festivities for the Gamers Gathering at the coffeehouse. After this mess down at city hall, a daquiri or three is just what I need to calm my nerves.
originally posted by Mr. Wrong
LucChiq, Why doncha meet me by the river, little darlin’? I might just let you see my bad tatoo. And you can bring your roomie.
Well I am game, but my roomie can’t make it since she already got a job. Since you are showing me your bad tattoo I’ll show you mine too.
quote:
originally posted by swampbear
And I hear that for an extra fee, LucChiq will perform certain, shall we say, “personal services” for the male patients over at the hospital."
Where did you hear that? Did you hear it from the nurse that walked in on me and the patient on room 212. I swear I was on top of him trying to perform mouth to mouth resuscitation. It is the new way to perform it.quote
Eve, would you consider working through Doperpower? I can coordinate those bookings for you for a very, very small overhead. (Far below usual going rate since I do like you so very, very much.)
And Skerri – Doperpower was going to try to “serve up” a short order cook for you, but if you’re taking money from that corrupt Plnnr for your Tahiti Night, no can do. You’ll have to find your own cook.
However, Rico, Doperpower can provide trained, armed security guards to protect the radio station transmitter with just a few hours notice. Just call me. Doperville 5- JOBS. (Ivyglass, that goes for the TV station too, should you have any further difficulties with the <ahem> city planner or manager or whatever he is.)
I’m on the faculty of the local university - I teach theatre arts, and design the sets for our productions (AND build them. AND paint them. I need more students!). I tend to blast Frank Zappa and King Crimson during my all night work parties at the theatre. In what little spare time I have, I am a percussionist for the symphony.
until the next political brouhaha, of course.