Well, if we’re running ads in the Gazette…
how much for a full time ad for a news anchor, sports anchor, and weather anchor?
Town character #1
I’d like to apply for the position of Ladies Underwear Salesman. I already know what kind most of 'em round here wear.
Sorry…that’s full PAGE ad…
As the slacker MLIS grad student, I should put my application in for this, shouldn’t I?
It’s only part-time, though, right? I wouldn’t want anything to interfere with my “studying”.
Ok. I may be willing to run a tab in exchange for some advertising in the paper. (At least until the tour buses start rolling in, and I get this place rolling.)
Actually, Kn*ckers, we may have to go into cahoots for the weekly “Friday Night Pajama & Martini Party”. Wanna split some advertising costs with me? 
I need to place an ad to hire a DJ and a weekend bartender. (I want to be able to flit about the place and schmooze with people, you know.)
Instead of using my English degree for anything useful, I decided instead to start up the local FM community radio station, KTRV 90.5. We play a wide variety of jazz, blues, independent rock, classical music - whatever sets us apart from the flotsam that is Top 40 radio. Our current #1 song is local punk band The Smegma Monsters’ blistering cover of the Dopeville anthem.
Since I’m really not that busy, though, I hang out quite frequently at iconoplast’s coffee shop; they make, without exception, the best iced cappuccino in town. I might harbor an unrequited crush on Lsura, if I only was sure of his/her gender.
Well, really!
[I’m not invited . . . ?]
I’m the town’s old maid librarian with the hornrim glasses and hair pulled back in a prim bun. Maybe someday I will whip off the glasses, let my hair down, and mesmerize some male patron with my stunning beauty.
But, more than likely, I’ll just keep right on stamping books, hushing whispering children, and sending out overdue notices.
Aack! I missed that we already had a librarian! Back to the drawing board… 
Hey, Q.N.! You can never have too many librarians–especially unmarried ones!
Me? I teach English at the Community College and write film reviews for the Gazette.
But most folks usually refer to me as “that crazy man who has all those cats.”
I host the town’s soup kitchen and Goodwill store.
Since all the good positions at the gaming stores and bookstores have been filled (darn it!), I’ll take on the persona of the physics, chemistry and engineering professor at the local college. (Think that means I’ll have to invest in some corduroy jackets with patches at the elbows.)
You’ll often find me in the aforementioned gaming stores and bookstores perusing the merchandise and debating the quality of Reaper versus Confrontation minatures and bemoaning the lack of new John Steakley novels. During the day I’ll be educating the town’s youth in the wonders of science, and on the weekends I’ll be racking up triple-digit scores at the golf course outside of town. (You’ll know me by the trail of broken six-irons.)
I want to be the gal who runs a weekly pub quiz at Skerri’s place. It would be a pretty hot competition with Dopers involved. But that’s only my hobby.
Can I be the crossword puzzle writer for the paper and the storyteller at the library/bookstore? Not just stories for kids, either. Big people like to be read to as well!
Oh, and I’d be happy to slop suds a couple nights a week if you need out from behind the bar, Skerri.
Dinsdale – after that post and the one in the anti-Pit thread about me, I’m really wondering what you know about my past! 
And there I thought my user name was close enough to my real name that my chickness was obvious.
I’m sure we’ve seen each other in the coffee shop. I spend many evenings there having those philosophical discussions.
This is looking very good. One thing that we at the Gazette seem to be missing, though, JC (or should it be Chief? ) is a weekly astrologer.
I have no doubt there are many qualified folks in Dopeville who would like this position.
What say you, Eve?
Are you trying to flirt with me? There is no flirting in the library!
In the mornings, I copy edit the Gazette (which, for the sake of my peace of mind and social life, better be an afternoon rag).
Later in the day, I hop on over to the coffee shop, where I put in my time as barrista-in-residence, serving lattes and Americanos to the Teeming Millions. While I’m there, I play host to the Thursday night roleplaying gathering (Free refill if you show us your character sheet and d20!) and the Sunday night study jam. (Bottomless cup half off with student ID!) When I’m not behind the counter, I’m back in the kitchen, baking all manner of treats to go along with your frothy coffee drinks.
I live in the upstairs apartment of that old Victorian down on Signorino Place. Yeah, the gray one with the turret, can’t miss it. I use the turret room as my craft studio–all that light is great. If you’ve a mind to try your hand at quilting or embroidery or any of that fussy homemaker stuff, stop on by! We’ll craft for a while and then put in a few hours on the XBox.
Hey, Juniper you got knitting stuff? If so, I’m there with bells on.