An adulteress, no. An idiot, yes. Poaching is bad enough, but - poaching at work? :smack::smack::smack::smack::smack::smack::smack::smack:
Sigh. Please tell me he’s not her boss or even in her department.
I did say “if, not when” to the whole thing falling apart eventually… Partly because of the “don’t look for honey where you get your money” angle.
But any objections I would bring to the table here are practical rather than moral or ethical.
“Morality” is “how things are done in a particular group.”
“Ethics” is “what is good (i.e., what will make your life better).”
I’d say those two things are pretty practical :p. The dangers of poaching aren’t “old hags wagging fingers,” it’s “old wives pulling your tongue out through your ear.”
At the risk of getting way too heavy for the MMP, I’ll respectfully disagree with the above – for example, I think fighting for the right to free speech is both moral and ethical – even, nay especially, in a place where “that’s not how it’s done” and you can get yourself arrested, imprisoned and executed for it.
And, of course, I meant “I did say ‘when, not if’”
I blame old age. And the weather.
Blurf.
BooFae, sounds to me like your friend has fallen in love with the guy. This will make the inevitable train wreck breakup even worse. Can you round up some mutual friends with clue-by-fours and have a ‘Come to Jeebus’ session with her?
The commute today was much lower on the pucker factor than yesterday. Today, I can count on one hand the ice patches I encountered in my 45 miles; yesterday there wasn’t enough fingers in the world to do the job. Bad news is we’re set for a morning ice storm, before it all turns to rain.
ETA: Be sure to eat some sausage today!
I know she’s not the one committing adultery, it’s all on his side. She’s just the homewrecker! 
She’s already admitted that she’s falling for the guy, so when the whole thing goes tits-up, she will be in a bad way.
The problem is really (having discussed with a couple of other friends) that she wans to introduce him to our social group and we are not keen to meet him. I think the real problem is that underneath it all, we know that this relationship can’t last and that she will be hurt when it ends, and yet she wants us to meet and be friends with the guy who is going to cause her so much pain.
One of our friends is getting married later in the year and she has already asked if she can bring him to the evening celebrations - the bride-to-be isn’t happy with that, but doesn’t feel she can say no at this stage, even though she knows it will cause friction with other friends. Besides, taking an adulterer to a wedding? How tacky is that?
Nava - they are colleagues but he’s not her boss. They aren’t in the same dept either, she’s in payroll and he’s in legal. They work together and have been on at least one business trip together, and outside of work they’re planning a dirty weekend in the near future.
She’s already invited me to a couple of nights out and I am seriously considering turning both invites down simply because I don’t want to have to sit and listen to her gushing about how wonderful he is, when all I want to do is shake her until her teeth rattle and she sees sense.
Blurf here, too.
I hope it works out for your friend, BooFae. Cheating ain’t healthy, IMO.
Glad you had less ice, Bobbio. Why are we supposed to eat sausage? Groundhog Day? Ahh - I get it! That was lame. 
Funny- we just talked about the difference between morals and ethics at dinner with the kids the other night.
Our working definitions:
Ethics: adhering to a common set of rules and laws (medical ethics, legal ethics)
Morality: internal guidepost to what is correct and fair.
So something can easily be moral, but not ethical.
This presumes that you live somewhere that the ethical standards are fair and just.
So, I was filled with much grrrrrr last night. We were celebrating my son’s 15th bday. He wanted a dinner at home, and specifically, for me to make this http://www.epicurious.com/recipes/food/views/Marbleized-Root-Vegetable-Puree-2755"]root vegetable puree I make at Thanksgiving. (I don’t make mine as rich as the recipe call for). I roasted a standing rib roast and for fun, made these apple stuffing muffins. They are really tasty and fun.
So… just as I’m finishing up and ready to pop the stuffing into the oven to set up, I reached for a Pyrex dish, the lid fell and shattered all over the stuffing. I had already given him a dish of the stuffing to taste and he was so excited. I had to break it to him that it was a loss. He was really sweet about it, but he was disappointed. I was pissed, as I had been cooking for a few hours and ruined it at the last moment. All he wanted was a special mommy made dinner. Sigh.
I told him he could have extra cake as his side dish.
Oh, well. Not the worst tragedy, but still made me sad.
Dotty- enjoy your fun time and good luck on your procedure!
One definition I’d seen is “Ethics is what you do when people aren’t watching you.”
Mega-blurfs for me.
Our darned dog ate a “seed bell” that I put out for the birds. Hopefully, it doesn’t make her sick. I know I’d be sick if I ate that many little seeds and that much bacon fat to hold it all together.
Morning all - caffeinated and am now going to have some herb tea.
Dotty, appendages crossed and prayers being said for good outcome for your procedure.
BooFae, so sorry for your friend. I understand your dilemma, too, but don’t have any advice for you there. Sadly enough, your friend will be the one who winds up hurting the most… well, maybe his wife too. Gah.
Say, if anyone here plays Petville on Facebook, please please, my pet Wolfie needs neighbors there! LOL He’s a good boy but is eating me out of house & home! 
back to work …
Ivory, “moral” comes from Latin “mores.” All it means is “customs.” In theory the one that’s general is ethos.
I found Petville (she says, cleverly sidestepping the whole office affair issue) to be extremely juvenile and the wall postings (“is So&So a bad parent?”) unnecessarily derogatory. I dumped Bluesette after 3 days.
Good vibes going out to dotty!
Yay, on still being employed, mmmmmmms. Lot to be said for that there.
boofae, decline to meet the cheater if it makes you feel uncomfortable. You don’t need to explain…she knows. Just let her know you care about her.
Great durken post, doggio!
My facebook account needs to stay respectable since I am job hunting, so no games for me. I don’t have time right now anyway.
Can I tell you something? I am sick to death of revising my resume. and
Tupug
Does that make you bi-something-or-other?
Dotster–best of luck re the testing etc. And enjoy your freedom (while it lasts).
BooFae–that’s a tough one. Any way ONE person can give this friend the Eye and say quietly that asking that her married lover to another friend’s wedding is a bit… presumptious, if not tacky as all hell. In your vernacular, “it’s just not on!”.
Call me naive, but I find myself a bit flummoxed by the whole “Can Jerry come? I’m dying for you all to meet him!” thingy going on. I thought extramarital affairs were all about Just the Two of Us , secrecy and quickies in the executive washroom that’s closed for renovation, not Showing Off My New Man to My Homies.
How times have changed… IFIWY (and I’m for once glad I’m not), I’d pull chickie aside and just say that some of the group are a bit uncomfortable with this whole thing and are worried she’s going to get hurt (if you say she’s acting like a cheap slut, that’ll probably put her back up, so go the “concerned for your wellbeing” route). You may have to give on the social stuff, but I’d draw the line at the wedding–that’s is just so wrong on so many levels.
Off to run errands. I need BOOTS, dammit. I don’t care that stores now only carry bathing suits–I NEED boots! (fashion ones, not weather ones).
Actually, a thought – Boo, is this affair “out in the open” for all – including “his” wife – to see? If it is, it’s a very different situation from if they’re trysting. While she (the wife) may not be happy with it, if she knows, then the cards are on the table and she can either live with it or do something about it… I’m sort of assuming from your first description that this is the case; if not, I’d probably be a bit less cavalier about it.
And it’s still probably going to end badly.
Hope the job situation and the move to the US work out, mmmmmmmmms.
Sorry about the ruined stuffing, Soapy. That sucks. I would have been really pissed.
No input on the affair, BooFae. I think others have given good advice.
Good luck with the procedure, Dotty. Hope all turns out well.
Resumes are never fun, pugs. Hope you can find something quickly. If you wanted to come to the Great Frozen North, my company is hiring!
I just have to survive today and tomorrow and then we’re heading to Charleston for a long weekend. Yay for mid-50s temperatures!
As far as I can tell, the affair is not out in the open, at least not at work. In the office they are playing things very cool although I don’t know how long that will last. I’ve not really spoken to her about it, I’ve been ducking the issue because I’m not sure how to deal with it.
She has said a few things to another friend which lead me to understand that Mr and Mrs Married are living separate lives but in the same house, and that he is making little if any secret of the affair to his wife. Whether she’s doing something about it or not, I don’t know, and may not find out.
So you can see, it’s a bit of a thorny problem all round. I don’t want to say anything much to my friend just now because I know she will take it all the wrong way but it’s getting to the point where I may have to speak up before things get too bad.
rigs, you’re right, it’s just not cricket.
Dotty - keeping things crossed for you, and keep enjoying that freedom!
I was sober when I posted that.:eek:
I’m off today, so I’m doing some mancleaning before the Booster Club Board meeting tonight.
: prayers and crossed appendages for Dotty :
Boofae, I have friends on both ends of the affair thing. We’ve made it clear we don’t want to hear about it.
Soapy, sorry about the ruined stuffing. Yay for an extra side of dessert, though.