Well done, honey -- spoken like a true smartass!

I was driving my wife to work today (she works in retail and I’m not going to make her try to find a parking place at the mall at 10:30 a.m. the day after Xmas). Our kids (15 year-old boy, 7-year-old girl) are in the back seat. They are, as is their wont, annoying each other. Just last night we’d had a little chat about how they should treat each other well and take care of each other. I’d told them a little anecdote about something semi-horrible my stepsister did to me when I was maybe thirteen and how it colored our relationship forever. But I digress…

Anyway, they were sniping at each other and generally making us wish we were in a taxi with the soundproof glass between the front and back seats. Mrs. Chef whirled on them and told them to knock it off. I added, “Yeah, you two, be nice to each other. Remember Cain and Abel.”

My little heathens did that head-tilt that dogs do when there’s a high-pitched sound, and my son said, “Cain and Abel? What’s that mean?”

Without a second’s pause, Mrs. Chef retorted, "It means I’m ABLE to CANE you if I feel like it!"

If I hadn’t had both hands on the steering wheel I would have had to applaud that.

that is a good one. how long did the stunned silence last?


I’m going to shamelessly steal that and engineer the situation to allow me to use it.

They are only 2 and 4 at the moment, ignorant of the bible and likely to remain that way so it is pretty much set-up for a slam-dunk.


From them? Long enough for them to forget whatever it was they were squabbling about. The general silence, however, was broken almost immediately by my bray of laughter.

Beautiful, “sniff”, you must be so proud.