We were at the park on Sunday and my almost-three-year old suddenly exclaimed in a loud, clear voice with diction that would make any parent proud:
“Mommy, look at that great big fat lady!”
I rose to this maternal challenge by laughing nervously and dragging her off.
It’s going to happen again, though. What would y’all do?
You simply explain, calmly and clearly, “Yes, I see the great big fat lady too dear, but it’s not polite to point.”
Dr. Watson
“Manners require time, as nothing is more vulgar than haste.” – Emerson
I would step away from the child and pretend I don’t know her. Come back an hour later to fetch her.
I’d also tie it in to something recent which happened to the child which embarrassed him/her.
“Yes, I see her. But when you say things like that you can make her feel like you did when you spilled your milk this morning. And you didn’t like that, did you?”
I think this helps children understand that everyone, now matter how different they are from the child, has feelings too.
Guest contributor
Straight Dope Science Advisory Board
Go up to the great big fat lady, and say, “ma’am, your daughter just called me fat, and I don’t really appreciate it.”
I was on the receiving end of something like this once. At a wedding in a church, a little girl (age 2-3) in the pew ahead of us kept turning around and looking in our direction. At some point I reached up and scratched the side of my nose with my index finger (a la the Seinfeld episode).
The girl says, loud enough for 20 people to hear, “Mommy, that man picked his nose!”
What the hell can you do in a situation like that?
Well H8, don’t pick your nose.
** Sigh. So many men, so few who can afford me ** Original by Wally
I’ve learned that if someone says something unkind about me, I must live so that no one will believe it.
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I couldn’t help it.
My face was on strike so I had to picket my nose.
Always offer an apology to the person at whom such a remark is directed. Don’t elaborate or offer excuses based on age or anything else. “I’m terribly sorry she said that.” Then immediately explain to the child about hurting feelings (I like the spilled milk thing).
Thanks for the advice, guys. We are already working on her manners, overall, but this one knocked me for a loop because it is the first time she’s ever commented on someone’s physical appearance like that. I’ll be a little more prepared next time. I think the apology idea is a good one.