I had just gotten out of the shower and was in the process of combing my hair. My zippy computer beeped at me. It signaled an email from a friend of mine.
“Hey, Andy… what do you think makes someone bisexual?”
Ohboy.
A half hour of rapid fire email trying to explain the nuances of being queer later, I now have a slightly calmed down friend who doesn’t understand why, at 19, all of this is starting to click into place. We’re going to go to dinner tomorrow so I can try to help her understand what’s going on in her head.
Every time I do this it brings back a flood of memories that make me want to break down sobbing and laugh at the same time.
When we set up what we were doing tomorrow, she thanked me. I was tempted to say that I’d thought she was bi upon first meeting her… but sometimes you just have to bite your tongue.
Seriously, though… I’m anxious about tomorrow. Anyone want to send me happy rainbow vibes?
Talk to Sqrl, but I think you get your toaster now.
I don’t have a habit of recruiting, but I seem to be the “hey let’s come out of the closet” person.
Maybe it’s because I was raised by a pack of wild lesbians.
I am still waiting for my chance. When I find the right woman I will give you credit and maybe you could trade your points up for a bigger prize.
Hey I filled out the little postcard thingy just like I was supposed to except that I misunderstood the question about sex and listed “F” because I thought they were asking about what I preferred. I think they thought I was a lesbian woman because while I never did get a toaster oven I did get a secret memo about large dildos being air-dropped into suburban communities as part of the “master plan”.
“The English All-Gay Rugby Club played their first match against a straight team this week, and didn’t they do well? 17 tries, and three conversions!”*
[sub]*(If you don’t know who Graham Norton is and/or are unfamiliar with rugby terminology, please disregard this post)[/sub]
zen, I don’t think you should have mentioned the “Master Plan”. Unless a mod is nice enough to erase that sensitive information, you might have lesbians in black helicopters stop by your house and kick your ass…
Dammit andygirl!! While I love you to death and I am happy for your cause, I cannot help but be pissed that you are taking another one of our players… The more girls you steal from us, the less woman there are for ME!! Considering you and your SO, she is probably another hotty.
I do have a good plan worked out though… after you take these girls to dinner and talk to them and help them realize they are gay homosexuals, you give them my number. Then, just to be sure, they have to spend a night with me- you can never be too sure. If they still want to join your team after an earthshattering night with me, it was meant to be. I will not mind doing this for you at all. In fact, if you want to put my number on the gay corkboard at the next meeting, that would be great. All the lesbians out there can refer all of their friends to me. Waduya think? Like I said, I would volunteer my time and my skills to your cause free of charge.
