This just in, the Pleides (Seven Sisters Constellation) will be at it’s ‘highest point ever’ in the sky. And according to ancient Aztecs…this would occur on the night that the World Ended.
GREAT.
Fucking GREAT. Thanks a lot Ancient Aztecs. I knew this would fucking happen RIGHT WHEN I lost this weight.
Looks like all that self improvement was for naught, and I never even got to go to Germany.
Awww, come on jarbaby, all the Christians thought the world was ending on 01/01/00, (or was it 01/01/01…) and we’re still around! The world ain’t ending. Go to Germany. Eat sausages.
*Disclaimer: I know not all the Christians thought the world was ending…I’m making a point.
Well, according to the Mayan calendar, the world will end in december 2012, so you still have time to do all those fun things, and to enjoy your weight loss!
Well, according to my calendar, the world will end January 31, 2002 (the last 31 days will apparently be much smaller than the previous 365). Either that, or I’ll need to buy a new calendar.
The real problem, jarbabyj, is not that the Tianquiztli (Pleiades) are too high, but that they have not been receiving their requisite blood sacrifice for lo these 480 years. If we had only been cutting the living hearts out of thousands of captives each year, this situation wouldn’t have arisen. But it’s a bit late for that now.
I’m tired of the world pretending to end all the time and then just keeping on going. It’s like having to sit through The Brothers McMullen all over again.
The Pleiades are high, the moon is full, and it’s Hallowe’en - that’s enough signs for me. Good bye, everybody. It’s been nice knowing all of you. (At least I don’t have to agonize about getting a career now. :D)
Well I think it’s great. Frankly, this whole world thing hasn’t worked out all that well. People are constantly blowing each other up, passing diseases, saying mean spirited things, hating each other for stupid reasons, going to work at jobs they hate, not going to work anywhere and feeling useless, wondering if when they die they’ll go to heaven or just rot, turning too much land into parking lots, pretending to know all the answers, cutting me off in traffic, stealing from each other, eating too much, eating too little, wearing stupid fashions, watching stupid shows, hiding the remote, and complaining too much. <–Look Irony! (Or is it hypocrisy?)
So I for one will go outside with a fine root beer, look up at the stars, and cheer the end on!
In the event that the end fails to materialize, will any of you come visit me at whatever mental ward my neigbors send me to?
Sure, as long as I can have your ice cream when I get there. You’re not going to eat those mashed potatos, are you? Saaayy, nice straight-jacket! Can I try it on? Look, padded walls!
And if the world is ending soon, no need to give those kids all my candy. Nosiree, gotta keep up my strength so I can watch the fireworks. Hey! You with the Snickers bar! Give that back!
[sup]Only kidding. We’re giving out crappy candy this year, so I wouldn’t want it anyway.[/sup]