Cool! A cell-mate! We can lounge on the nice comfy walls. Wiggle around in the pretty white jackets. Babble on about how the one world government conspiracy totally ruined the special effects in the moon landings and now are plotting to implant mind control devices in our brains that make us think “Yes! I will buy more Kraft Macaroni and Cheese” and thus save the economy. And that’s ok because Kraft Macaroni and Cheese is good stuff.
But I think I might just call the whole “end of the world” thing off. I mean, I was all pysched for it but then I remembered that tonight “Enterprise” is on and while it’s not a great show, it does entertain me. I also have to get the garbage out to the curb cause I don’t want to face the end of the world while I’m sitting in a smelly house. And then the weekend is coming up and my working friends will be around and there are some movies coming out that I want to see. In fact, I don’t think I could possibly schedule the end of the world until after Lord of the Rings has been released.
But I’m still up for a visit to the Happy Home, so as soon as my therapist tells me that I need a little time in the comfy room, I’ll let you know.
You know I once wrote a story called “The Mash Potato Terrorist.” Oh it was funny then.
Well, if we’re going to live without double entendres, they might as well roll the end credits now (well, for sitcoms, anyway). Like they always say, a dirty mind is a terrible thing to waste.
In late breaking news, my day-by-day calendar just notified me this morning as I flipped to today’s date that I can extend time by making sure that I purchase the 2002 Raisins That Look Like Don Rickles A-Day Calendar.[sup]*[/sup]
So, pending today’s lunch hour purchase, I will single-handedly divert this disaster for one more year.
[sub][sup]*[/sup]Personally, I thought they just had 10 raisins that look like Don Rickles, and that they just use different camera angles for the other 355 days to compensate. But with this new 2002 calendar (thus a total of 730 unique Ricklesesque raisins), I’m wondering if maybe they’re artifically manufacturing these things.
I note that zero malls were attacked by terrorists yesterday. I wonder if the idiots who were passing along that UL will bother to circulate a “Ooops, were we gullible!” retraction, too.
I’m sure they would if they weren’t so busy getting the “Terrorist plan an attack sometime in Dec in a medium sized city that has at least two vowels in it!” mass mailing ready.
I have a US Government issued calendar that’s missing both 31 March and 29 April 2002. There’s a 28 where 29 should be but just a 24 where there should be 24/31.
What’s wrong with regular mac 'n cheese? You can stick the noodles on the tines of your fork, and then it’s like having a mac 'n cheese fork! Oh, wait, they won’t give me forks in this cell. Maybe if I ask really nicely, those nice young men in their clean white coats will let me have a fork. Hey Blackclaw and joyfulgirl, do either of you have a fork?
Which means we have until 2003, since Part Three won’t be released till then.
But I think George Lucas has more power to preserve the Earth than Peter Jackson. George has The Force, you know, so the world should endure forever, since Lucas plans to milk the SW series forever. The SW movies will be re-released over and over and over, in every form of media that currently exists and those yet to be invented.
We have nothing to worry about. Even if Lucas dies, he’ll just come back as a translucent, shimmering spirit. The world won’t end as long as George Lucas has The Force.
Nah. It’s Disney that has death-grip on TEOTWAWKI[sup]tm[/sup] (The End Of The World As We Know It[sup]tm[/sup]). As long as they hope to sell one more copy of The Little Mermaid or Snow White, none of us are getting out of here early.
