Oh, you poor unapprised earthlings. Too worried about your weight and padded cells and obscure predictions to see what’s right in front of you. Don’t you know, the end is on it’s way! For the big-bad of the Christian religion, the Anti-Christ, is upon us.
And it’s not who you may think, either. Not Marylin Manson, not George Bush or Saddam or other Middle-East loony (Not that there’s anything wrong with loonys, mind you.). You wanna know who it is?? Really? I will dispense my knowledge upon you…
It’s MARY-KATE AND ASHLEY OLSEN!! They are pure evil. With their books, movies, magazines,makeup, and every other possible product directed at young teens, they are brainwashing the youth of America. But no one is paying attention, and one day we will all be held hostage by an army of Olsen Clones. I predict it. I may not be mumbling in my sleep, nor have I recieved any hallucinatory enemas (fortunatley), but this too shall come to pass…
Well, maybe you won’t be overweight in the afterlife? Would you rather be a fat angel/deamon/ghost?
(I guess if you turn into one of those skelton type un-dead your earthly weight wouldn’t matter much.)
My family has been honoring the ancient tradition of blood sacrifice for lo’ these many centuries to ensure the continuity of our world…at least, that’s why they told me we do it
NICE GUY EDDIE
Now I ain’t heard that song
since it was big, but when it was
big, I heard it a million-
trillion times. I’m listening to
it this morning, and this was the
first time I ever realized that
the lady singing the song, was the
one who killed Andy.
MR. BLUE
You didn’t know Vicki Lawrence
killed the guy?
NICE GUY EDDIE
I thought the cheatin wife shot
Andy.
MR. BLONDE
They say it in the song.
NICE GUY EDDIE
I know, I heard it. I musta zoned
out whenever that part came on
before. I thought when she said
that little sister stuff, she was
talkin about her sister- in-law,
the cheatin wife.
JOE
No, she did it. She killed the
cheatin wife, too.
