So I was looking at the web site for the Metropolitan Museum of Art. I was thinking of getting a membership when I saw they offered some sort of ‘young singles’ membership. They have get togethers and it’s a great way to meet young, like-minded people. Humm I thought, I’m single again and I need to meet more people and then I saw that is is for people ages 18-39 and I turned 40 back in October.
So now the MUSEUM thinks I’m old.
I need a drink and a new hip I guess.
Well, I’ll drink to your new hip if it makes you feel any better. 
I know the feeling, when you just go over that age bracket in the drop down boxes while filling in forms online and such. 
Dammit! Just let me type it in with dignity, for the sake of Pete!
Its probably for the best, I doubt you’ll find anyone to talk about gold bond powder and which glaucoma medicine has the least side effects with at a museum. Maybe the bingo parlor is more up your alley, if you wear a funny hat you get a free bingo card here, maybe the have the same deal in your area.
I went to the doctor a few months ago and he said, “Have you considered having your tubes tied? You’re too old to get pregnant.”
The fact that I don’t want to get pregnant does not make his statement any more entertaining.
There’s still time. I know somebody who in his early sixties decided to start a degree course, simply because he’d never been able to before. He became eligible for both a Senior Railcard and a Youg Persons Railcard at the same time. Unfortunatly, he couldn’t combine the two and almost travel for free…
Well, I was at a great dance on Saturday night with a crowd that ranged from mid-twenties to mid-fifties. It was seamless.
Agewise, that museum doesn’t know what it’s doing.
There there Zebra dear. It’ll be alright. Just do a couple Geritol shooters, then head on over to Denny’s for the early bird special and you’ll feel all better.
Ouch. Something like this happened to a friend of mine recently…she tried to make an appointment with her gynecologist and was informed that she couldn’t see him anymore because he only serves women of childbearing age.
She was crushed.
Wow. I didn’t know that gynecologists did that.
Mine just wants me sterilized. No biggie.
Probably most don’t. I think the doctors at that office really specialized in obstetrics but continued to see their patients when they weren’t pregnant. So it makes sense…Still kind of a jolt, though.
It’s cliched, it’s trite, it’s stupid, and it’s true:
You really are only as old as you feel.
Maybe if you told them you’re taking Enzyte they’d make an exception for you.
Hey Zebra, how you doin?
Seriously, I wouldn’t sweat it. You wouldn’t want to be hanging around a bunch of 19 year olds anyway, right?
The perk of being so old, Zebra is that you will get a good parking spot at the Museum. In the lobby, where you drive your Mandatory Old People™ car, an Oldmobile 88.
Oh, by the way, trim your ear hair.
That’s nuthin. I went the doctor the other day and he suggested a vasectomy.
"Why? I asked him.
He told me I’m too ugly to have kids.
Ba DUMP Bump
I get no respect.
OOh!
Get one of those little scooty-around machines and then you can beep your horn at the youngsters taking up all of the side walk!
Quitcher whinin’ you young whippersnapper! I turned 40 back in August!
Ouch! I think I pulled something typing that …
…
(Senior Moment - I forgot what I was going to say)
You don’t know depression until you get your first letter from AARP.