We're getting married


Congratulations. I entered a marriage of financial convenience 37 years ago, still married to her, so it’s done and sometimes it works.

Warmest congratulations! When you find the right person, it’s an amazing thing. The Heiress and I will mark 25 years of happy marriage in August.

California, you say? You might want to hurry.

Contrary to popular belief, the U.S. Supreme Court did not declare California’s Proposition 8 unconstitutional; it just refused to hear a particular appeal of a federal appeals court ruling. There is supposed to be a ruling at the end of the term (June 29 or 30, I am assuming, based on the calendar on the Court’s website) concerning whether or not state laws recognizing only different-sex marriages violate the Constitution; if they are upheld, then it is not clear if that decision would apply to California or not (“We determine that states have the right to recognize only ‘one man and one women’ marriages…except in California, because neither the governor nor the attorney general will appeal a lower court ruling that contradicts this opinion” doesn’t make sense).

However, when Proposition 8 was upheld by California’s state Supreme Court, that court ruled that it did not apply retroactively to marriages conducted in California that were legal at the time.

I’m not worried about California, frankly. I suppose Prop 8 is in some kind of limbo, but if the state government is not going to recognize it’s validity and is not going to enforce it, then the Supremes would have to reverse the district court ruling, which they have already declined to do.

In any case, this is why I was holding out for no marriage for us until everything was clear legally. But this is one case where close is close enough. I’m tired of fussing about the politics of this issue.

Thanks for all the well-wishes, everyone. The reason we’re not having anything like a reception is because we are both completely uncomfortable with any fuss. So we’ll lift a glass to ourselves and call it a day.

My marriage of convenience crack referred to the very-partial marriage of financial convenience nature of your union. I’m not romantic, so it strikes me as a very logical reason to marry. The La Migra crack, well, I got lucky with that, nailing my mouth with both feet. No offense intended, and I hope none taken.

So have you two gotten married yet? You’ve been talking about it for nearly a day! :wink:

A) Congrats – and fantastic that you can do it. It was a long fight against ignorance but it was worth it.

B) Don’t be surprised if some things do change; more for the better than anything else. My wife and I were together for 22 years before we made it legal. We thought the same thing; and were very surprised some months later to find we were wrong. That was like 15 years back so it clearly was good. But in odd little emotional ways it was different.

I’m not usually enthusiastic about people rushing into marriage after barely two decades, but somehow I think you two crazy kids can make it :slight_smile:

Sincere congratulations and best wishes.


Congratulations! I am very happy for you :slight_smile:

I remember you were talking about your boyfriend being very stressed and sick and/or depressed recently so I hope this is making him very happy as well!

FWIW, Linda Greenhouse, longtime Supreme Court correspondent for the NYT, predicted recently that the Supremes will rule in the next few months that SSM must be made available in all states. We shall see; hope she’s right.

Nice of you to remember. I think he was going through a transition, of getting used to the ways our lives have changed since I retired. Or something. He does seem back to normal now.

Kind of funny, to me: at one time he said he would never get married because he didn’t want to have to call me his “husband”, he thought it was too weird. This doesn’t seem to bother him any more.

Please tell me more…

We did the deed on April 30th in an office with a judge. I was surprised at how nervous (or something like nervous) I was in the few hours before the ceremony.

I also didn’t expect to feel any real difference, since we have been together for 23 years, but the relationship seems more solid now than it did before. I can’t quite explain that, but that’s how it feels.

Thanks again to everyone for your good wishes.


Congratulations to both of you :slight_smile:

So happy for you both! Congratulations!

Mazel Tov!

Congratulations on your elopement. That’s how me and my Other Half did it 25 years ago. May you have a long and happy life together.

Congratulations! I wish we could get our act together here in Texas. Maybe we’ll rejoin the civilized world one of these days.

Call me old fashioned but it’s not a wedding without cake!:smiley: That’s a joke, I say son, that’s a joke.

Delighted for you both! Here’s to a long and happy life together.