We're going to name the fat baby Lardy if it's a boy.

I once had a guy working for me who was a little too honest. This was in a restaurant, where most of the workers were college kids, but this guy was around my age (early 30s at the time), and he was the kind of guy who is really into the waif/supermodel/body-of-an-11-year-old-boy type. :rolleyes:

There were several occasions where he said something to one of the girls, something any dude with an iota of common sense wouldn’t have said. Then he’d be surprised and confused when they got upset or pissed. One time, out of the blue, he walked up to a girl who, IMO, was freakin’ hot, and said something to the effect of “you know, you’re a really cute girl, but if you lost ten pounds you’d be smokin’.”

I sat him down and tried to explain a couple of simple facts of life - like when a woman asks “does this make me look fat?” you say “no, of course not.” It doesn’t matter whether it does or not, or if she’s your mother, your wife, your friend, or a random stranger. You lie through your teeth, you fool! Or, if it is your opinion that a woman is overweight, you don’t make it a point to inform said woman; you KEEP THAT OPINION TO YOURSELF. At least while the women are around.

Reminds me of the one:

A lady gets on a very full bus and is standing next to some gentlemen who are sitting. She says “Could one of you give me your seat? I’m pregnant” One of the men immediately hops up and gives up his seat.

After looking more closely at her, he can’t help but notice that she does not look very pregnant at all. He says “Excuse me, but how far along are you?”

The lady looks at her watch and says “About 40 minutes.”

Would you ever name your child Marblehead?

Never assume.

Last night the boyfriend put his hand on my stomach for at least fifteen minutes before I finally asked him what he was doing. He was waiting for the baby to kick. :slight_smile:

Allow me to answer that, as someone who is currently about 10.5 weeks pregnant (not yet out of the first trimester and not showing).

Most of the time, she doesn’t, and many women may not show noticeably until their third trimester due to varying factors. In the first 3 months, many of us just plain feel like shit for a lot of the day. Here are some major symptoms that show up during this trimester (for me at least) that might make sitting a lot more comfortable:

[ul]
[li]Dizziness/Vertigo due to changing blood volume. Many ladies faint, or find they can’t keep their balance on a train nearly as well as they used to. I am constantly falling over my own feet.[/li][li]Constant nausea/vomiting. Hopefully she’s not riding the train while vomiting, but it can come out of completely nowhere[/li][li]Fatigue. It’s completely exhausting at times, and there is just SO much development in the first 12 weeks that we pretty much just want to sleep for days[/li][/ul]

Now, I’m not saying that every women in early pregnancy needs to sit on the train, but if she’s having a hard time and asks you, even if she’s not showing, please let her sit. This is damn hard work and it’s both emotionally and physically draining.

That said, I have not yet had to ask for a seat on a train, thankfully though I commute on 2 lines I haven’t felt horrible enough when standing to request it. But if I needed to, I’d definitely ask someone sitting in one of the “accessible” seats to let me take a breather.

What I don’t get is why some people desire to name northeastern places after ugly people.

Hey, my daughter Newark and my son Detroit take offense!

Most uncomfortable exchange evah:

My boss/friend: Are you having your period?

me: um, er…

My boss/friend: <His wife’s name> always gets a huge zit like that when she’s on her period.

:o :smack: Two for the price of one.

I once asked an ex-gf when she was having her baby, she wasn’t pregnant. She had dumped me but I swear that had nothing to do with me asking. She had gained a bit weight, luckily I was in the old neighborhood showing of my new child, so I said “I didn’t think you were but we’re both the same age” :smack:

I’m waiting for someone to start yelling for lil Cranston to stop knocking stuff off store shelves. Come on, you know Cranston will be a hellion.

Random Side note- It’s also apparently considered very weird to remember if your female friends are about to have a period/having a period. I don’t think they expect us to remember those sorts of details…

But I’m neurotic enough that I’ll keep track- but only if you’re a really good friend, and you’ve told me more than once “Sorry, I’m just having on my period”. You use that as an excuse more than once, I’m going to start tracking that shit like I’m the Crocodile Hunter then. :smiley:
I like patterns, and mysteries, what’s so weird about that?
And I always feel a moment of self satisfaction when I guess correctly.

/random tangent

Would you believe my parents named me Elizabeth? Sheesh!

:frowning:

If it’s a girl I suggest naming it Adipose.

Last summer at a yard sale I was looking at a girl’s bike for my 13-year-old daughter. The homeowner told me she thought it was very nice of me to be getting a bike for my granddaughter. I didn’t correct her because I thought it would be even more humiliating if I did.

Oh, that happens to my parents all the time - my mom was 38 and my dad 47 when they had me, and thirty years later it still happens. The last time I went trap shooting with my dad the guy working at the counter said how nice it was that I had the chance to go and do things with my grandfather - I didn’t correct him, because it would just have embarrassed everybody involved. And it is nice that we can still do things at his age.

Oh god, a few years ago one of my coworkers came up to me in a tizzy and asked if it looked like she had gained weight. Puzzled, I said no, she looked the same as always.

She told me that some random person in the elevator had just asked how far along she was.

This is a girl who couldn’t have been more than 110 pounds soaking wet. She was short and SKINNY. Probably a size 2 or so.

In closing, people are fucking crazy.

But why would “Are you having your period?” be considered an appropriate question to ask in the first place?

I can think of very few times when it would be appropriate to ask someone if they’re having their period. Like when you’re about to engage in some coitus and need to know whether to lay a towel over the sheets. That’s about it. The only other reason I can imagine someone asking me that question is if they think I’m acting grumpy and want to ascribe it to hormones. If that’s their implication then they deserve the snarky response they’ll receive to such a fatuous question.

Well, it could be an innocent question if you say “no” and they reply “okay, then I think you sat in ketchup” and point out a stain on your pants. Other than that…

I am, shall we say, curvaceous. I was living/working in Albania where all the woman under 25 weigh about 98 pounds (once they hit 30, it’s a whole different story…). I was getting my hair cut at what passes for a salon there and the stylist (a man) said to me, “You’re fat but your face isn’t so you should wear your hair brushed back.” I didn’t know whether to laugh or cry.