I found living with women far superior to marrying them. Both seem to have to try harder. You do not have a legal claim to their finances or property. You are there because you want to be, not because you have to. Only marry if a kid comes along. Then think hard about it first.
Can we talk about farting? Yeah, let’s talk about farting.
I realize farting is a natural part of the body process. If you have to do it by all means do it. You shouldn’t have to run in the bathroom everytime you get the urge.
Having said that there’s nothing wrong with fighting some of the unpleasantries of bodily functions. Invest in a bottle of Beano.
What? Why are you guys looking at me like that? Everything else was covered.
FWIW, I don’t think 9 months or so is enough time to decide to live together. I’ve heard that you should know each other 2 years before marrying. True, cohabitation isn’t as serious as marrying, but 9 months isn’t 2 years either. IMO in the early stages of a relationship, you’re showing each other your best side. What you need to see is the worst side.
The fiance and I have been living together for 4 and a half years already.
I advise:
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don’t get a roommate - you’ll have enough adjustments to make without having to deal with a roomie.
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understand that you’ll have to compromise on some things. You’ll fight with him and it’ll suck sometimes because when you fight, you’re still living with him. Just know that you care for one another and you’ll need to work things out if you want to stay with him.
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I second the whole look at the bigger picture. Little things will come up that will annoy you about him, but don’t allow that to cause petty fights that will break you guys up.
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enjoy it! Do some fun things the first few weeks you’re together and appreciate him being there. Then continue being you as well as being a part of a couple.
I am already well aware of the farting. Believe me, farting is something that has already been brought up in our relationship. He doesn’t score them based on echo and smell or anything, but there is no fear of farting in front of one another. (I fully expect he will eventually get to a point where he puts up a scoreboard for that kind of thing somewhere in the apartment. The things we put up with for love, eh? :))
Have you talked about the extent to which you will be pooling your finances or keeping them separate?
Don’t get a roommate.
Walter Lang and I have been living together for about 2 years (we’re getting married this year, so I guess things are going ok).
The only time we’ve had disagreements every frikin’ day is when we had a summer student staying with us.
Trust me - skip the roommate. The extra $$ just isn’t worth it.
Again with the ‘no roommate’ advice, from the perspective of a roommate who has vowed to never again live with a couple. If you move in with two people at once, different things about each of them will bother you or require discussion and compromise. Since you have a different relationship with Random Roommate X than with your boyfriend, you’re going to handle their situations differently, which can cause friction. You might expect your boyfriend to do more chores than the roommate, or you might let things pass because you like him and the roommate is just a business relationship. You might have to moderate how you let off steam-- either arguing about stupid shit or running around naked. Added to all that is how the roommate will feel outnumbered when making general household decisions, and if you’re extra accommodating to the roommate, the couple starts getting resentful. The roommate will likely feel more like a temporary resident than a couple who’s trying to make a home together.
I don’t want to sound like you don’t know how to live with roommates, and I realize that finances might require it anyway. These are just things I’ve noticed when living with couples. In my experience, it’s damned annoying.
Just 300 a person, *not* to have a roomie when you move in together is totally worth it! Find something else to save on. I'd recommend getting a smaller apartment instead. Bonus: when you two can afford a bigger apartment, it will feel more spacious because you are used to a smaller one. Really, room space is mostly taken up by stuff, anyway. Think of it this way: you can save 300 a month, probably more, each, by throwing out stuff you are not using anyway. Save even more money by not buying stuff you are not going to use anyway when you are together. The money comes back to you by being just as happy, but in a smaller apartment.
Bonus two: your excess stuff will not bother your SO. Bonus 3: you won’t have to move it around five or six times. Bonus the fourth: cleaning takes less time, so you have more time to chase each other naked around the apartment. Lat bonus for now: the air in your apartment feels much better.
TV in the bedroom: yes or no?
Computer, where?
Who cleans what? Who cooks when?
Have you ever gone shopping for groceries together? Will it be better to go together, or if one handles it?
Roomate? Kinky.
I can’t imagine wanting to move into an apartment with another couple. Blech.
Just remember that if things don’t work out, you are still both liable for the rent. So if you sign a year’s lease and break up in month 5, you may still be held responsible for paying the rent for the remaining 7 months, even if you move out.
On the assumption that you will be together for the long term, consider a cohabitation agreement.
My fiance moved in about a month ago. For me, the only thing that changed is that we see a “wider range” of each other. Instead of flipping his “on” switch and being happy and chatty every time he sees me, sometimes he’s off in his own world doing his own thing. It’s the same for me. When he’s upset about something, he can’t go to his own house to be upset, he does it here. When I’m having a pout-over-popcorn evening, he sees it. I don’t think that this is affecting our relationship at all, except that we do favors for each other when we’re sulky. Which cheers us up.
Having said that… last night he was away for the night, attending a funeral, and I slept by myself for the first time since he moved in. Best. Sleep. Ever. Some day, we’re totally getting a king-sized bed.
You know what? This is worth emphasizing.
Sattua seems to be handling this well. She makes it sound easy as a matter of fact. Just know that a lot of people have a hard time with this.
Why thank you SHAKES 
Anyway, for the issues I highlighted, there seem to be four things that it’s important to be conscious of:
(1) That you have time at home together that you spend together, interacting
(2) That you have time away from home together that you spend together, as a couple
(3) That he gets some time at home by himself
(4) That you get some time at home by yourself
You’ve heard. Ok. What do you know, from experience? My wife and I have been together pretty much since the day we met. She was staying with me almost every night almost immediately, and within 6 months we signed a lease together. We’ll have been together 6 years this year, in March we’re welcoming our first child, and in June we’ll celebrate our 4th wedding anniversary.
My best advice is don’t argue over little stuff and don’t be afraid to apologize, even if you’re only partially wrong.
Hey, it’s worth noting!
So… you’ve farted in each other’s presence… have you had food poisoning? Stomach flu? Horrible cramps? Has he gone out to buy you tampons and painkillers? Not that you can’t show a little restraint in your SO’s presence, but it’s nice to know you love someone, warts and all.
Getting two bedrooms is an excellent idea (though, like others, I don’t recommend getting a roomie unless they’re an extremely quiet exchange student who won’t take sides in arguments or become a scapegoat). You can keep your room the way you want and separate beds, occasionally or every night, helps with snoring or different sleep schedules.
Oh, I’ve experienced both situations (married after a year, and living together after ten months) as well.
Back when I was active in church I talked to the guy in charge of counseling services and he said two years, but I’d heard that figure somewhere else before that. I thought that the trend was more important than anecdotal evidence. Sure, sometimes it can work (congratulations!) and sometimes it doesn’t. But everybody thinks their relationship should defy the odds; I know I did.
As with all legal advice over the internet, take this with a grain of salt. There are jurisdictions where couples living together without marriage nonetheless can have claims for support and property division if the relationship breaks down.
Hence Muffin’s suggestion for a cohabitation agreement. The OP might find this thread helpful on that point: How much of a deal-breaker is a pre-nuptial agreement?
Oh, and ditch the roommate idea. If you’re both feeling amorous over the washing-up and want to drop trousers right there in the kitchen, you should do it! having a roomie puts a real kibosh on that kind of spontaneous fun.