Yep. Palimony | DivorceNet
http://www.nolo.com/resource.cfm/catID/3C3AF4CE-DB9E-48C4-8DFCFE2E47C91747/118/304/145/
But see, Moses & Singer LLP
Yes. Good advice here.
But it does provide someone to hold the camera. 
I don’t have to tell you to avoid the roommate idea, everybody else already has 
Financial dealings:
I’m not sure how you are handling this - but here’s my advice. Open up a joint checking account, but maintain separate ones as well. Agree ahead of time what bills you are going to share and what are your own responsibilities (credit cards, cell phones, online gaming fees, etc.)
Set up direct deposit for the specified amount to the joint account - the other monies to your own account.
Now, you can pay the rent, the utilities, groceries, etc from the joint. As for your personal account, when you or he wants to buy the other a present, or indulge in a guilty pleasure (shoes!) you can spend that money however you want - without causing stress on the joint bills and without overstepping each other’s financial boundaries. “You spent how much on that game? What are you, insane?” “Your credit card bill is how high? OMG!”
I’ve appreciated it each time I’ve done that in a relationship and regretted it each time I have not.
We have, actually. He got a horrible stomach flu so I spent a couple of days listening to him vomit every half hour and helping him monitor his blood sugar (he is diabetic, so not being able to keep food down is a big deal for him) and then he called me several times a day and offered to bring me soup when I was sick a few days later. He has also been so gallant as to buy me pads when I needed them.
We will certianly look into a cohabitation agreement. We’ve already talked about having something like this in place, actually.
Melodyharmonious, that’s exactly how we’ve always done it and it works out perfectly. We also have a joint savings account with a decent amount of money in it that either of us can access it right away if something happens to the other one, although I doubt we’d do that if we hadn’t been together for so long and didn’t own a house together. Usually we don’t know or care what the other one has in their own accounts. When we want to do some home renovation project or take a vacation then we talk about what else we have stashed away.
Well, separate beds sort of defeats the purpose of living with your girlfriend IMHO. But I agree with getting at least a 2 bedroom or 1 BR plus office. I live with my GF in a 1 BR and quite frankly it’s a bit cramped. Not only is there not really enough room for all our stuff, it drives me nuts if I am working on the computer (which is in the bedoom) and she’s coming in and out of the room every 2 minutes. By the same token, the light and keyboard tapping bothers her while she’s sleeping. I could really use a small office where I won’t bother her while shes sleeping and she’ll have no business coming in unless she needs me for something.
Also keep in mind that quite often women assume “live-in girlfriend” is really an audition for “wife”. And maybe it should be. It’s a lot different breaking up with someone when you also have to figure out how to get your stuff out and where you will send it. I mean unless you wait until she’s at work, bring in the movers and leave a Post-it note saying “it’s not you, it’s me”.
Not unless you’re into sleep sex!
Actually, I’ve heard more than once that it’s separate bathrooms that are key to a long, healthy relationship.
It’s hard to say what changed in our relationship. We lived in the same dorm with roommates for two years. The third year we lived in the same dorm but had singles right across the hall from one another. The fourth year we lived with roommates in a 6-bedroom house but we did not share a bedroom. The following year we shared a bedroom and had roommates.
And after we got hitched we finally got our own place with no roommates.
So it was a pretty gradual change.
The best thing about living with someone is everything suddenly costs half as much as it used to.
The worst thing is sometimes you really need alone time and you can’t exactly kick your lover out of the house.
Definitely avoid a roommate if possible. It makes things so much more difficult. For one thing, you can’t fight properly with other people around.
We have found that the most ideal financial set up for us is to have a joint checking account and a joint savings account, along with us each having personal checking and savings accounts. So we have our joint expenses (I transfer funds to our joint account to cover my part) and then we each have our own money. We have both joint financial goals and individual goals. This really, really helps us to share our lives while still maintaining a sense of individuality.
I’m sure I’ll think of more stuff later.
I agree with melodiousharmony on the joint account in addition to each having your own separate account, and I recommend talking about how you’re each going to contribute to it ahead of time. It’s pretty unlikely that you’re both making the same amount of money. So are you each expected to contribute 50/50? Or will you contribute a % of your salary? We ended up going the % route since he earns about 56% of our household income and I earn about 44%. So he contributes 56% and I contribute 44%. This seemed fair to us, but it’s something you should talk about and maybe you’ll decide that 50/50 is fair to you.
The hardest part I found, like others have mentioned, is just the fact that he is ALWAYS there. We have to compromise on what to eat, on what to watch on tv, on room temperature, on everything. They seem like little things and you think “Oh, but we both like the same thing” but there’s always one thing that you want to watch that he doesn’t like or something he wants to eat that you don’t like. And you really really really just want your own space for an hour or two. Or for him to go away for a day.
My advice (other than to talk about it) is to each have a hobby (if you don’t already) that involves 1 night/week apart. It’ll give you each an outlet, other people to talk to, and something interesting to talk about when your together. And it’ll give the other person a night at home alone. Really helpful.
We’re also finding, through a winter of colds and bad backs/necks, that the separate bedroom thing is a godsend. We sleep together some nights when we’re both feeling well, but when one of us is sick or just having trouble sleeping and tossing and turning, it’s really nice not to disturb the other person (I say having been both the awake/sick person and the sleeping/not-wanting-to-be-disturbed person). We both sleep better in separate beds, and waking up fully rested and not grumpy is worth some nights not in the same bed. You may not need to do that, but it’s worth talking about and being open to the possibility that occasionally it may be the best thing for both of your health and sanity. The romance won’t die if you spend some nights apart.
Don’t get a roommate.
For me, the biggest thing was not being able to get alone time. I wasn’t very good at speaking up about what bothered me until one day we were chatting, I said “I gotta go poop” and she followed me into the bathroom to keep chatting. I almost started crying from that. A man’s poop time is sacred.
Amen to that, brother.
We just had words last night because if my husband wants to get into the bathroom, he simply comes in, even when I lock the door. (We have a key above the kid’s door in case of emergencies.) There I’ll be changing a tampon and next thing I know, he walks in. He doesn’t even have the courtesy to knock. It pisses me off to no end.
It’s sometimes all I can do to not throw my poop at her like an angry baboon.
Quite frankly, I also like having alone time where I really don’t want anyone else around watching TV, telling me their problems, talking on the phone or just existing in the same room as me.
I also found issues where the GF now has right of first refusal for all weekend plans. It’s not longer “do you want to get together Saturday?”, it’s “what are WE doing Saturday?” “Uh…‘we’ was gonna hang out with our boys…right? Oh…ok.”
We have a three-bedroom house - the master is for both of us, and we each have our own room, to do with as we please. Mine is done in Early Butterfly (I just happen to like butterfly stuff); Jim’s is done in Sports Paraphenelia and every piece of crap he’s ever owned in his life. We also have two bathrooms, and we have split those, too. It’s not that we don’t like each other; adults just have to have their own space. I don’t plan to ever live in a house where we can’t each have our own room.
Advice for youngsters just moving in together? Get used to the idea of compromising. Dr. Phil might talk out of his ass a lot, but he was on the mark when he said, “Do you want to be happy, or do you want to be right?” Sometimes you have to be the one to apologize first (and your partner will probably surprise you with how graciously they react to it).
That is a HALF TRUTH!!! Some of my crap is in other rooms! So there! 
I would definitely agree that having your own personal space is important. If there’s nowhere in your own house where you can spend a little private “me time” now and then, I suspect you’ll slowly go insane. I mean, I love my wife like crazy and all, and we have no problems spending a couple weeks every year in a car together driving all over the continent, but I don’t want to spend every waking moment with her! I’d drive her crazy with my infantile behaviour and long-winded praises of Capt. Kirk and insistence that an astronaut would kick a caveman’s ass. We don’t want that.
We’re lucky in that our house and outbuildings are spread out enough that there’s plenty of room for private space. My partner gets a small den, the woodshop and the basement and I get a very large sunroom and I used to have a small cabin for my gym but we just started renting that out to a friend. Usually I have the whole pool area to myself also because the guys don’t use it that much. The first few years that we were together we lived in a 700 square foot cabin and that took some work. When we bought this place we suddenly had so much room that we’ve never felt crowded again in comparison.
Hee. You think so now. But there will come a day when you sleep poorly when he’s gone, instead of better. Trust me, it happens.
Let me be the lone person to disagree on the join account idea.
Think very very carefully before you start commingling your funds. From a personal/legal perspective it isn’t the same as getting married, but from a financial perspective it really is. Once you get a join account together if you ever break up (and let’s hope you don’t, but plan for the worst) things will be messy, there won’t be any way for them not to be. A joint account is a good idea, it makes a lot of things easier but be very aware of what that joint account means before you open it. Live together for a while first. Make sure that your relationship can handle that, because it will be different and it will likely be hard for a bit. Then talk about a joint checking or savings account. And if you get one DO get a co-habitation agreement put together.
This is true of people who are in business relationships as well not just people who are dating. Hell, I know people who are married who refuse to commingle funds because of the headaches it can save.
I’m going to go on record as the sole person who doesn’t think that roommates are such a terrible idea. I lived with a couple for almost 3 years (moved out a few months ago), before and after they were married. We all got along well for a long time. Eventually, their marriage started having trouble, and I decided to move out because it was becoming a less pleasant environment.
As far as I know, their marital issues weren’t due to having me as a roommate.
I’m not saying you should get a roommate, but it doesn’t have to be the catastrophe that some people have made it out to be.
Nothing of ours is comingled. She technically ownes the place so every month I get a little Excel invoice and a “PAY ME MY MONEY!!”.
i
Maybe you were the glue holding them together.
As for having a roomate, I’m not a big fan. My first appartment out of college was in a two family house. The landlord and his GF lived in the lower unit and I lived in the upper unit with these two cousins who I met through a mutual friend (who lived nearby). Mutual friend, one of the cousins and the landlord all knew each other from work and everyone was around 24-26 years old (I lived at home for a year out of school and was in a 5 yr program in case anyone was doing the math).
Well, the other cousin had an annoying girlfriend who everyone else hated. Except the two of them were pains in the ass because she was always around and thought she was the fourth roomate. Now I tend to not take any crap, so that would cause a lot of conflict whenever they would step out of line and I would push back. Stuff like “it would be nice if you asked me or one of the actual roomates before inviting friends for a sleepover” or “I don’t care what you and your girlfriend are doing in the bathroom, but you can’t be doing it for 3 hours in the only bathroom on a Saturday morning.”
I saw a similar phenomenon with my friend and his wife and his wife’s roomate. The girls lived in sort of a pair of studio appartments joined by a common kitchen/bathroom. They came to some sort of agreement that when the lease ran out, the roomate would leave and the married couple would take over both studios, in effect creating a 1BR. But apparently there was some issues during the overlap period when everyone was living Three’s Company style.
Basically, the point is, with a couple and a 3rd roomate, it is very easy to turn the roomate into an odd-man out. Every issues or conflict ends up being the couple vs the singleton and it can get very uncomfortable.