We're stupid.

It’s never been more clear to me than it is now. Human beings – the fighting, failing, striving, magnificent beings that we are – are irrevocably, irredeemably stupid.

I just walked out of a night club where I was having an incredibly, uncommonly cerebral conversation with a person who seemed to have her head screwed on so right that it almost hurt. Throughout the night, both of us played it cool to the hilt, never betraying anything more than a casual interest in the other, nevertheless somehow managing to communicate to each other our innermost feelings and opinions.

Why, then, did I walk out of there, going “Have a nice life!” to her “Have a nice life!”, knowing that I’ll never see her again?

Because rather than face the risk of being rejected, I would walk home and plop down on my bed alone, safe in the knowledge that nothing is different from the night before (and she will probably do the same). Never mind the possibility that this could have been “the One”, that mythical person spoken of in common folklore as well as romance novels, the one person on this earth you are supposedly able to communicate with on a level above the normal, banal blatherings you have with most other people. She’s leaving the country tomorrow, and I’ll never see her again.

I’m fine with this. It’s probably this fact that bothers me. And it’s this fact that’s bringing me to the conclusion that human beings (very much including myself) are inherently, irrevocably stupid. Rather than put myself out on a limb, I retreat to my lair and stew over the fact that I didn’t put myself out on a limb. And perhaps I’m being narcissistic, but I think she’s doing the same right now.

Stupid. Stupid, stupid, stupid.

Discuss, if you feel like it. I’ll just be over here, stewing.

Sounds like the fear of rejection immobilizes you & others. There are books on the “risking” topic, and I read one with that exact title once. Since then I do not do what you just described, although I meet people that I may never see again, at least for a while because we are thousands of miles apart. So I am not “stupid” by your definition. What will you do NEXT time?

I feel you, dog.

IMO, this will change when you don’t want it so badly. You fear the rejection because the acceptance would be so great and fabulous that having it pointedly not given would be too much to take.

When you are confident in your ability to go it alone, and you can wipe it away from your mind if you are in fact rejected, you will have the guts to make some sort of move.