Quick poll – curious if anyone out there thinks this is in the least bit plausable.
A friend of my wife does not believe her husband is cheating on her, despite ample evidence. Little things that’ve been going on for quite awhile – disappearing for hours at a time, girl’s phone numbers in his pockets, etc., but he always has an excuse that she buys into. Yesterday, she comes back from an overnight trip to her mother’s to find some pretty concrete evidence – there is a used condom floating in the toilet.
His excuse? “Well, it was old, so we couldn’t use it anymore. So I used it while masturbating”
WHAT?! Who in the happy bouncing hell whacks off wearing a fricking condom?! One of the nice things about whacking off is that you don’t have to use a condom!
Reminds me of a joke wherein a woman tells a male friend of hers that her husband explained the presence of a stray condom by claiming that he masturbated with it. She asks her friend, “Have you ever done something like that?” He says, “Sure, once or twice.” She replies, “You mean, you’ve really masturbated with a condom?” And he replies, “Oh, no. I thought you were asking me if I had ever lied to my wife.”
No, and I feel for the woman if she decides to swallow that one. You’d better shore up your foundations, sounds like she’s going to need a very strong support system in the future. I’d make sure I was supportive (when she finally decides to quit living in denial) but wouldn’t let her put her whole weight on me either. Not for long enough for her to atrophy at the least.
Based on the background, it seems that the condom discovery is redundant.
As for masturbation, condoms help with cleanup. A roommate once gave me a couple as a gag birthday present, even though my girlfriend at the time was saving it, not for marriage, but for when she was engaged. I figured it was better than just throwing them away, so…
Seriously - the girl’s phone numbers should have been enough. My vote’s for “cheater”, with the added hope that she has him use protection in their elationship from now on, as IMO cheaters aren’t always shy of barebacking it.
And of course, the big assumption is that those were girl’s numbers. Lots of artistes use femme “working names”
When I was younger, I did it once or twice, just to see what it was like. I couldn’t imagine making a habit of it. Or buying condoms specifically for that purpose.
So yeah, it’s not impossible that this guy is telling the truth, but only just. If there’s other evidence against this guy, this is the smoking gun, so to speak.
Just posting to echo Menocchio’s sentiments. Tried it once, years ago, just because; can’t imagine ever wanting to do it again. I would assume most guys who were ever going to try this have done so by age 20.
Given the history of suspicious behavior, the guy’s cheating and trying to get caught. If she confronts him about it, the secret is out in the open and he doesn’t have to be sneaky anymore.
I only masturbated with a condom once. For 20 minutes…
Actually I’ve done that myself, with condoms that I don’t trust for “real” use (e.g. been in the wallet or glove compartment for a while). It’s a shame to throw it away unused. I wouldn’t say masturbation is better with a condom, but it’s different and interesting.
I’d consider it a circumstantial evidence, not a conclusive evidence.
Everyone else seems to be coming forward, so I will too. Yeah, I’ve tried it once, but it isn’t something I do regularly. It’s a different feeling. Not worse, just different.
There are also more elaborate methods of masturbation besides the ol’ reliable that require a condom. I’m not suggesting this is the case here, but it is possible. Even if it is a lie, it’s not a bad excuse.
Maybe she knows and just doesn’t want to talk about it with you? Maybe she figures it’s none of your business and thinks if she denys it you’ll let it go?
Doesn’t make sense to me really, but maybe it’s time for you to leave her be.
If this had been the only evidence, I’d probably buy the excuse—particularly since anybody smart enough to hide other evidence of cheating would be smart enough to not leave a used condom floating in the toilet.
Combined with all the other indications, though, it’s pretty clear to me that (1) he’s cheating, and (2) she knows it, but doesn’t want to believe it.
However, I think she is just in denial and at some point, will finally admit it. However, the dude sounds like a real dufus - maybe he wants to be caught?
All in all - don’t bank on them lasting together as a couple for too much longer.
And using a condom to masturbate? Uh…I think most young boys do it once, just to see what it looks and feels like. But after the age of about 13? Nah…total bullshit story.
Sort of like the pictures on a box containing a vibrating dildo…you know the picture…woman holding it and massaging her neck…yeah, right…
Agreed and agreed.
It also occurs to me that IF he was actually using said condom with another person and not masturbating with it, he was cutting it pretty close in terms of when his wife was going to return, since he didn’t use the toilet at all after the condom was thrown in it. Yes, I know, people may have more than one toilet in their house, but this sounds like it’s in a pretty central location if it is convenient enough for used condoms to be thrown in it, and it’s someplace where the wife looked pretty soon after returning.
[It makes sense in my head. I just can’t get the words to come out right at this hour/low level of caffeine.]
