"What a beautiful little boy! Oh, is that poo?"

[Swallowed_My_Cellphone]

@chowder

Boiled, grilled or fried…and with a light sprinkling of Bacon Salt

See? Now you make me wish I wasn’t a vegetarian. (Mmm. Baby and bacon salt!)

[vetbridge]

@olivesmarch4th

Fuck 'em with a wooden spoon.

A splintery one at that!

When I am exposed to similar situations and I make my feelings known, the mom invariably comes back with, “Oh. . .you don’t like kids?”.

My reply, “I love mine more than life itself. Is there something you haven’t told me?”.

[eleanorigby]

These stories are reminding me of the time my youngest son exploded on the ferry from Martha’s Vineyard. Outfit-ruined. Combi stroller, borrowed from a friend-covered and dripping shit. Baby screaming. Other two kids too small to leave on deck alone. And me with only the diaper bag, half ass running water on the boat and wet wipes.

And my husband wondered why I didn’t want to travel more when the kids were small. (he, of course, wasn’t on that outing).
ETA-of course the grad school wannabes are insane and wrong. As are the restaurant folks (but how could you tell the difference between McD’s and shit anyway?).

[flight]

@Slithy Tove

It’s a chemical that’s released in the brain: dumbdorphin, that’s triggered by the birthing process - and in both parents. They’re so overwhemed and overjoyed, they just turn stupid, and assume that their baby is the whole damn world’s baby.

And yes, I’m speaking from personal experience.

I actually don’t have any problem with this at all, just so long as they are consistent. Either it is your child alone, only you can discipline him, and only you need to put up with the whining, crying, and misbehaving; or everyone has to deal with him acting like that in public, yet everyone can give him a good smack to keep him in line.

Honestly, I don’t care which someone chooses, but if your kid runs around screaming and shitting on things, I am going to have to assume you have chosen the latter.

[Frylock]

I can’t understand why you “had a talk” with the prospective department about these guys. Is it your business to do so in some official capacity or other?

Even if so, how is what happened here relevant to the person’s qualifications as a prospective graduate student?

-FrL-

[Anne_Neville]

@featherlou

Do people really need to be taught that bathroom functions and eating tables don’t mix?

The Neville kitties didn’t seem to need to be taught that. Admittedly, they’re smart kitties, but most cats and dogs do seem to understand that you don’t crap where you eat.

@Frylock

how is what happened here relevant to the person’s qualifications as a prospective graduate student?

Umm, the fact that they’re dumber than even a dumb cat or dog, and possibly dumber than some of the more intelligent rocks. You don’t want to give a graduate degree to someone that dumb.

[Elza_B]

@Anne Neville

The Neville kitties didn’t seem to need to be taught that. Admittedly, they’re smart kitties, but most cats and dogs do seem to understand that you don’t crap where you eat.

Ummm, could someone teach my damn cat this? Granted, he needs a butt shave, but it would be nice if he’d learn some decorum and quit dragging cat shit all over the house. :rolleyes:

(He’s getting a shave ASAP. I’m afraid the baby is going to find a cat turd that we’ve missed and think it’s dessert.)

[Frylock]

@Anne Neville

The Neville kitties didn’t seem to need to be taught that. Admittedly, they’re smart kitties, but most cats and dogs do seem to understand that you don’t crap where you eat.

Umm, the fact that they’re dumber than even a dumb cat or dog, and possibly dumber than some of the more intelligent rocks. You don’t want to give a graduate degree to someone that dumb.

You haven’t demonstrated that they are dumb. Socially deficient is not the same as dumb. This is illustrated especially by many Grad students, come to think of it.

-FrL-

[Elza_B]

@Frylock

You haven’t demonstrated that they are dumb. Socially deficient is not the same as dumb. This is illustrated especially by many Grad students, come to think of it.

-FrL-

I don’t necessarily think it’s a question of intelligence, though - more of responsibility. Would you hire someone like these two?

Why would you want a grad student like these two? If they can’t even show up for their interviews in a responsible manner, why would their career as grad students be any different?

[TheMerchandise]

@Elza B

I don’t necessarily think it’s a question of intelligence, though - more of responsibility. Would you hire someone like these two?

Why would you want a grad student like these two? If they can’t even show up for their interviews in a responsible manner, why would their career as grad students be any different?

Exactly.

And also: When you have hundreds of people competing for a few dozen spaces, personality really does become a factor in the admissions process.

Being a brilliant artist is wonderful, but when you combine that with the much coveted trait of “not being a douche bag,” you will go far in life and grad school!

[Anne_Neville]

@Frylock

You haven’t demonstrated that they are dumb. Socially deficient is not the same as dumb. This is illustrated especially by many Grad students, come to think of it.

True, but most grad students I’ve known aren’t that socially clueless. There’s socially deficient, and then there’s changing a diaper on a table in an office that belongs to someone you are presumably trying to impress, and expressing annoyance when told that that behavior was inappropriate. That’s a much worse level of social cluelessness than I’ve seen in most of my grad student and postdoc friends.

[burundi]

Originally posted by Frylock
Even if so, how is what happened here relevant to the person’s qualifications as a prospective graduate student?

One of the questions that schools are going to be asking is, “What does this person bring to the department?” The answer, in this case, seems to be “a rambunctious, poopy child who cannot be left with a babysitter.”

Seriously, Frylock, would you ever bring a baby to a job interview? This is no different.

[Miller]

@Frylock

You haven’t demonstrated that they are dumb. Socially deficient is not the same as dumb.

Isn’t it?

[Cat_Whisperer]

@burundi

One of the questions that schools are going to be asking is, “What does this person bring to the department?” The answer, in this case, seems to be “a rambunctious, poopy child who cannot be left with a babysitter.”

Seriously, Frylock, would you ever bring a baby to a job interview? This is no different.

And let’s not forget some of the original problems, having a hard time keeping a commitment, being extremely late and having a bad attitude about it instead of extremely apologetic. The person trying to get into grad school obviously has large entitlement issues, and if it were me dealing with them, I’d be glad that they showed me what they are about before they wasted any more of my time.

[Frylock]

@burundi

One of the questions that schools are going to be asking is, “What does this person bring to the department?” The answer, in this case, seems to be “a rambunctious, poopy child who cannot be left with a babysitter.”

Seriously, Frylock, would you ever bring a baby to a job interview? This is no different.

I didn’t notice that this was a job interview, or any kind of interview upon which anything was supposed to be riding.

So a third question for the OP: What was the nature and purpose of your meeting with this person?

-FrL-

[Frylock]

@Miller

Isn’t it?

…no…?

-FrL-

[Miller]

@Frylock

…no…?

-FrL-

Well, I guess I disagree.

[Frylock]

@Miller

Well, I guess I disagree.

Waitso, you think dumb is the same thing as socially inept?

So you think if someone is stupid, they are ipso facto socially inept?

And you also think if someone is socially inept, they are ipso facto stupid?

Are you not aware of any of the numerous counterexamples to both of these claims? Or do you not understand that these two claims are what your own claim amounts to?

-FrL-

[TheMerchandise]

I had answered the original question to **Frylock **in a private message, not wanting to derail a thread about toddler-poo with, you know, real stuff.

But since it’s already off on a tangent, and Frylock asked me to, here was the PM I sent to him:

Frylock,

I’m going to answer the question you posed this way, because it’s a long-winded and thread-derailing explanation.

I’m a graduate admissions counselor at an arts school. The various departments ask me to give them heads-up on any particularly difficult prospective students. Gatekeeping is a large part of my job.

It may seem patently unfair that rude and antisocial behavior might keep you out of graduate school, no matter how brilliantly talented a filmmaker you may be, but it very well may happen. The nature of our programs depends on classes being filled with a class and not a series of individual students. Personality plays a huge, huge part of the application process, because it plays a huge, huge part of the educational process.

But in a given year, there are only four or five people that I bother to bring up with the departments. I meet with a lot of different type of people and interact with a huge range of personalities. Big egos, entitlement issues, desperation, and threats… I’ve dealt with it all, usually with a pleasant smile. It takes quite a bit to ruffle me, but this couple did it.

If you have any more questions or debating points, feel free to email or PM me. If you want to open a thread on the pros and cons of the graduate admissions process, I’d be happy to contribute.

Best,
TM

[Frylock]

@TheMerchandise

I had answered the original question to **Frylock **in a private message, not wanting to derail a thread about toddler-poo with, you know, real stuff.

But since it’s already off on a tangent, and Frylock asked me to, here was the PM I sent to him:

And for the record, I told TheMerchandise that the second paragraph of her PM to me answered my questions pretty much to my satisfaction (though I think it would best if the prospective students in question were made to understand they are in a sense “being watched” during these voluntary, student-initiated interviews). Also, IMO, the content of the PM was perfectly relevant to this thread.

-FrL-