Got in a fight with my dad today. Not the kinda fight a 19yo kid usually gets into with his parents. He actually charged at me like a mad bull. I punched him. I got in at least two good hits. I finally hit the old SOB. My whole right arm is sore and shaking still. My wrist is still swollen slightly.
When stuff bothers him, it eats at him slowly, and builds up until he just explodes one day for no good reason. My mom saw the whole thing, and puts all the blame on him. I felt really bad that she saw the whole thing, though. She was crying for hours. He went to work (with out his glasses, which flew whichever way my fist was pointing) and I had time to cool down. But I have a brand new hole about the size of my fist in my bedroom door. I rarely go off on inatimate objects, but this was a rare occasion. I have to switch it with a door from downstairs. No major harm done, really. My wrist is sore, my arm scrapped up, and I don’t think dad will ever try to get physical with me again. I’m rambling, wich I guess is a good thing for me right now.
Have any of you Dopers ever had a rare instance of such a domestic dispute? Was it a good thing in the long run, or did it create more long-term problems? I’d love to hear about your experiences. (and thanks for listening)
Ahhhh. The rite-of-passage we all know so well. Wait until you guys are in the garage drinking in a week (or two years if you’re the follow the rules type) and you’ll laugh your ass off at this. Among my friends this was something that happened to most of them once. You just get to that age where there can’t be two alpha males in the same den. Been there, done that, all better now.
Hmm… Am I crazy for thinking this is just a shade more nuts than a rite of passage?
Maybe it’s my own predispotition towards pacifism, but this sounds like there is more going on beneath the surface, and had been for who knows how long.
I hope it is nothing, but I just couldn’t see my Dad and I coming to blows such as that no matter how heatedly we might disagree on something - and we do at times…
i’d have to lean a little more satan’s way on this one. i can’t really see getting into fisticuffs with my dad (and i’m the same age you are) but, you were there and i wasn’t, so i’ll assume you know what you were doing. hope the wrist doesn’t bother you too much.
I agree with Satan, it sounds like there are some underlying tensions that have been long neglected at your house, Babar.
At 19, the world is at your feet just as the same world has passed your Father by in a seemingly blur. You both have one thing in common: you both want what is best for you.
To allow things to build up inside is one thing, but to lash physically out at another human being , especially a child of your own (regardless that he is a man)is a sign of something is not right in his universe. It may be up to you and your mom ( and other siblings, if there are any) to show him the way of open communication and releasing feelings verbally.
Hitting or physically fighting with your father ( or mother) is not a rite of passage. It is one generation teaching the next how to not handle stress and life in a realistic manner.
I almost got into a fight with my father when i was your age. Just my way of showing my independence. Luckily my mom was there to stop it.
On the other hand I instigated that…not him
The thing is, it really was his fault. Yeah, there were a lot of underlying tensions building up, mostly on his part. He does this all the time. His stresses build up for months, and one day he blows up at something completely unrelated. Here’s what I figure all the problems were:
-He had to stop smoking pot because he’s looking for another job
-My brother’s slack-ass friends have been living here for two months, and we can’t get rid of them
-The cars he and mom bought for us for Christmas have been a hastle. Mine was wrecked by one of the slack-ass friends, and my bro wrecked his
-He’s kinda resented me ever since I took apart his old camera lenses he bought when he was in the Navy
-I don’t have a job. Well, I do now, but he didn’t know that when this happened.
Who knows what else is going on in his pea-brain? I don’t really care. He just snapped, and I happened to be the one he went off on. I just wasn’t gonna stand there and take it.