I am nearly 36 now and never been married. It has always been something I have wanted since I was a little girl.
My current partner has been married and divorced b4 and will never go through it again he states - why change things when they are going so well.
Any opinions welcome please
Personally, I think you’re too old when there’s no more pulse.
I agree with FCM – you’re never too old.
I got married at 37.
My sister had her first (and only) child when she was 45.
While I feel the same way your partner does, I don’t see an upper limit on getting married. If two adults want to do it, why would age matter? My not wanting to remarry has nothing to do with age and everything to do with being cynical about the phrase “till death do us part” or the equivalent.
Commitment? Fine. Monogamy? Sure. Saying that one or both our minds will never change about each other? No thanks.
I gotta go with FCM & company here: About the same time as you stop breathing.
There’s no such thing as “too old” to be married. You can be too old for many things, but never too old to be married.
You need to discuss this with your partner. Does he know how important this is to you? Is it as important or more important to him not to be married? Perhaps he needs to think about why he doesn’t want to get married again, taking into account how much you want to be married.
One of my closest friends got married, for the first time (in case that’s relevant), when she was in her early 40s.
That was several years ago. They’re still happily married, and proud parents to an adopted child.
There really is no upper bound. A couple years after my grandmother died at the age of 77, my grandfather, who was then around 80, started dating a delightful woman who was nearly his own age. If a heart attack hadn’t brought him down soon after, they might well have married, which would have delighted his children and grandchildren.
Of course, I would consider as suspect any woman who’d have me as a husband.
No way that’s too old! I’m nearly 40, and I want to get married again.
But you need to think very carefully about whether you love this person enough to give up a lifelong dream. From someone who’s been there, done that, you should not stay in the relationship on the belief that you will be able to change his mind, or that you don’t have a choice, or a chance with anyone else. You will either end up resenting him for not marrying you, or being married to someone who isn’t committed to marriage.
(removed long pitiful story that everyone had heard - email if you want details)
BTW, I have read research that shows that one factor has an 80% chance of predicting the success of a relationship.
That factor is whether either partner uses positive or negative words about the future of the relationship. Something to listen for when you are discuss this with him.
My best friend is getting married on the 21st at the age of 47, I think. 'Course she’s been married before, but I don’t see that it matters. I’d say as long as you’re alive and you and your partner want to take those vows, go for it. If your partner doesn’t want to take the vows, age is probably just the excuse he’s using for whatever his real reasons are (and he may not even know what they are.)
I’d personally draw the line at 107, but you know, that’s just me.
I agree with everyone else on the point that there is no “maximum age” (nor should there be). Of course, I’m one of those people who thinks that most of the age-limits people draw for themselves (and others) are arbitrary (note: some of these restrictions are valid, IMO, such as the line where one becomes “too old to have sex with a 14-year old”, but that’s another thread).
Sure, if you’re 107 it may be a little difficult for you to get through a kickboxing class, but:
a) I’m 32 and it would probably kill me to get through a kickboxing class, and
b) how will you know until you try (and you’re never too old to try…)?
But I digress.
Is your SO trying to convince you that one or both of you is/are “too old” to get married? Sounds to me like he’s just skeptical about marriage, which is a whole different issue.
And speaking of different issues, have you really wanted to get married since you were a little girl? Or have you just wanted a wedding since you were a little girl? My guess is that most little girls aren’t running around thinking about 7% mortgage loans and joint tax returns and having a partner nurse her through a bout of shingles…
Maybe you were different.
I’m not saying there’s anything WRONG with dreaming of a wedding as a kid. I’m all for ceremony, and am all for celebration (especially if there is GOOD FOOD). But now that you’re an adult, you might ask yourself WHAT it is about getting married that’s important to you. Then ask yourself what’s important to you about the relationship as it is now.
If the “Marriage” list is longer than the “Relationship Now” list, well… sounds like it’s time for a LONG TALK.
A member of my parents’ church got married last weekend at the age of sixty-four. Her new husband is seventy.
Both have been married before, but so what? They’re in love, and they want to be together. More power to 'em.
82 year-old guy goes to Doctor for a checkup. Doctor says he’s in the best condition of any 82 year-old he’s ever seen. Asks to what he attributes his good health.
“Probably genetics. Longevity runs in my family.”
Dr. says “How old was your dad when he died?”
Guy says “What makes you think he’s dead? He’s 100 and in great health.”
Dr. says “Wow! What keeps him going?”
Guy says “I take him Turkey hunting every other week. We went hunting just yesterday.”
Dr. says “That’s super. How old was your GRANDFATHER when HE died?”
Guy says “What makes you think grandpa’s dead?”
Dr. says(astounded)“Incredible! How old is your grandfather and what keeps him going?”
Guy says"Grandpa is 118. He just got married last week."
Dr. says “Married. Why would he want to get married at his age?”
Guy says “What makes you think he WANTED to get married?”
I’m personally 57 and have an 8 year-old daughter. It’s all in your head.
I’m not getting married until I want to give up sex, so there is no ‘too old’ to get married.
My paternal grandfather got married for the third time at 74, to a wonderful woman. My maternal grandfather got married for the fifth time at 68 to an, erm, woman, but one he’s been with for 20 years now.
Trust me on this. There is no too old to get married.
There was a gentleman at the church my folks attend(the one I was born into but have left) who got married for the fourth time at age 75. He had been widowed three times. This couple lived to see their 25th wedding anniversary. Too bad that by that time he had become senile and couldn’t remember who his current wife was, but remembered the first three! I remember this couple vaguely, because as a very small child I was taken to their house for tick-or-treating on Halloween, and they gave me a lot of candy.
Dunno if this helps, given your concerns, but:
My grandfather re-married at 82 (2nd marriage for both; both widow/ers). That seems to be the SDMB record so far…
-Redhawke