what am i to do

My best friend is a female and a very beautiful woman. I am also a female n we r best friends, I would die for her I love her that much. She has a b/f n but recently she got “drunk” n we kinda made out. Well its happened more than once and we have done more than made out. I do love her but Im not n love with her but could fall n love with her. She initated the sexual contact n o tried to stop her but she knows exactly what n how to turn me on. Heres the problem she acts like shes not bi or has bi tendancies. I think i make her happier most of the time more than her b/f. Idk if she knows that we have had sex more than once, she kissed me n i kissed back but every once inba while when i think about that nite her kiss sends shivers down my spine. What should i do or how do i approach the possibility of this happening again. Because she told me she’d been wanting me to do this for a long time now. Please help!!! Idk what to do and n need of some good advise because i dont want to loose my best friend.

Reported for forum change.

Well, first of all, stop having sex with her when she’s probably too drunk to remember it the next day. Most people would kind of freak out upon being told that they’ve had sex with someone and don’t remember it; some might even question whether they had actually consented to sex.

Blackouts kind of point to scary levels of drinking on her part, so either she’s having some issues controlling her drinking, or she’s actually not blacking out and is using getting drunk as an excuse to mess around with you and still have her life with her boyfriend. Actually, either way, she is using her drunken state as a way to cheat on her boyfriend and keep you at arms’ length; the only question is whether she has a conscious memory of it once she’s sober.

She’s using you as a way to cheat on her boyfriend - and if she’ll cheat on him, she might cheat on you too, unless she’s actually a lesbian and is a little too in denial and wants to make her relationship work because it feels “safe.”

The way I see it, you talk to her when she’s more or less sober (maybe one drink to loosen the inhibitions), you find a way to kill your intimate feelings with her (good luck with that), or you stop hanging around her. Why the latter? She seemingly gets drunk enough to make out/have sex with you, and then goes around the next day like nothing happened. Why can’t she have sex with you when she’s sober? Or, why can’t she openly acknowledge that anything happened and figure out how to progress from there?

As for the talk - well, sure, you might well lose your best friend. That’s always a possibility when starting a relationship with a good friend, but at least you tried. Your alternative is living in emotional turmoil while she hangs out with her boyfriend and maybe occasionally decides to get drunk enough to hop in bed with you.

Before I respond, are you over 18?

Moved from ATMB to In My Humble Opinion.

samclem Moderator

I teach college freshman English Composition, and honestly, I can’t read your post because all I want to do is correct it. Show some respect for your audience. You weren’t writing a text message here.

That is just MHO.

Well, according to kapri, get your mind off the sex and onto the format.

Never fuck your best friend” is something I think a fortune cookie company once stupidly refused to use.


Normally I find these types of posts silly, but this time I actually think you are on to something. I was just going to correct it for you to be snarky, but, in correcting it, I noticed that I understood it a lot better properly formatted. So I offer this correction sincerely.

My best friend is a female and a very beautiful woman. I am also a female and we are best friends. I would die for her, I love her that much. She has a boyfriend, but recently she got “drunk” and we kinda made out. It’s happened more than once, and we have done more than make out. I do love her, but I’m not in love with her. But I could fall in love with her. She initiated the sexual contact and I tried to stop her, but she knows exactly what and how to turn me on.

Here’s the problem: she acts like she’s neither bi nor has bi tendencies. I think I make her happier most of the time, more than her boyfriend. I don’t know if she knows that we have had sex more than once. She kissed me and I kissed back, but, every once in a while, when I think about that night, her kiss sends shivers down my spine. What should I do, or how do I approach the possibility of this happening again? Because she told me she’d been wanting me to do this for a long time now.

Please help! I don’t know what to do and I need some good advice. I don’t want to lose my best friend.

Now, having read this, I would like confirmation from the OP that this is a true story–and that you are still listening–before I bother giving you any answer. I’m not trying to be offensive, but people sometimes try to trick people on message boards, and this is the type of story that might get people riled up.

I suspect the person is college-aged, BTW. This sounds like college experimentation. Unlike Morgenstern, my answer will be the same regardless, unless one is a minor and the other is not. Please tell me that isn’t true.

Seriously - here is the forum for you http://www.loveshack.org/forums/. You will be treated with respect.

I know it was a little rude for me to write that, but honestly–that kind of writing is disrespectful, in my opinion.

Thanks, BigT - that did help. I’ll start with some basics; I’m not a fan of cheating, and your best friend is cheating on her boyfriend, and you’re knowingly helping her. I’d stop that first off. Secondly, people don’t make good decisions while drunk; talk to her when she isn’t drunk (when neither of you are, I should say), and ask her what she really wants. This looks like a good way for you to get your heart broken, lost-n-confused, being a drunk booty call for a girl who doesn’t know what her sexuality is and cheats on her current lover.

Just how hot is this girl?

Just kidding. You need to have a chat with this friend of yours. Things continuing the way they are is going to lead to somebody or several somebodies severely suffering.

B4 I answer did u join the forum jes 2 post ur story n ru trying 2 whoosh us bcuz it really looks like ur i dunno mayb im 2 cynical n i don like 2B whooshed.


Doesn’t look like the OP’s coming back. :frowning:

Perhaps you should have to have a license to use the internet. Some people just need to have their keyboard taken away.

This thread makes me super horny. Oh yeah. I want to “loose” your friend, IYKWIM. And I think you do. [insert creepy wink and finger gun here]

Anyway, advice just in case this thread is at all serious: stop fucking somebody else’s girlfriend.

Gotta love spring break.

But if you just can’t help yourself, for the love of God, make sure you take lots of pictures!

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