An atheist friend of mine was memorialized a few days ago. His family injected a shade of religious feeling into the service, but beyond a single hymn and the lord’s prayer, most of the service was sharing of memories and favorite quotes. It was a celebration of his life, and there was not a single mention of heaven. The service focused on those he loved and those who loved him, and that was all the meaning we need.
We use this standard
Another Leaf Has Fallen
Another leaf has fallen,
another soul has gone.
But still we have the non-existent deity’s promises,
in every robin’s song.
For he is in His alleged afterlife,
and though the alleged omnipresent Supreme Being takes away, science always leaves to mortals,
the bright sun’s kindly ray.
He is predicated to leave the fragrant blossoms,
and lovely forest, green.
And gives us new found comfort,
when we on His unproven presence will lean.
Uncle Bill and Aunt Jean were both militant atheists - to the point that they could be off-putting even to other atheists. (Side note: they were also good-hearted people and fun company, once you got them off politics and religion.)
I was several states away when Uncle Bill died, but I saw a video of his funeral and it was almost comically brief. A friend of theirs, who had once been a priest but was then a militant atheist like Bill & Jean (go figure), officiated. He read off the obituary, shared a couple of funny and meaningful memories, gave the crowd the chance to do the same, played “Blowin’ in the Wind” by Peter, Paul, and Mary, and thanked everyone for their time.
Years later Aunt Jean died and I was put in the position of officiating, with strict instructions not to invoke God or recite any prayers, yada yada yada (which I obeyed). I read off the obituary, shared a couple of funny and meaningful memories, gave the crowd the chance to do the same, played “Dream the Impossible Dream” from Man of La Mancha (Aunt Jean loved that song!) and I played “May It Be” from Fellowship of the Ring (she loved those books!), and thanked everyone for their time.
I am not an atheist (skeptical but open agnostic, more or less), but I expect more or less the same for my memorial. Playing “May It Be” is mandatory.
I hope and think that was an outlier. I’ve been an atheist for a long time but a raised catholic and attended many catholic funerals in my life, and nothing in the mass or the ceremony was ever about fire and brimstone at all (the catholic church as I know it was never much into fire and brimstone anyway), mostly a comforting sermon was given, and later the congregation met for coffee and cake and maybe some beers and talked and quipped about the deceased person and were all in a bitter-sweet mood, moaning and reminiscing at once. Cut off the mass and sermon (and maybe replace it with a speech of one of my friends), that’s what I expect and hope my own atheist funeral to be like. Maybe louder music than usual…
IMHO maybe you have no place to go. I believe I am going to wherever we all go no matter how we are dressed or what we believe.
I hope it excludes burial, which is wasteful and selfish. I live near a large graveyard and it’s an eyesore taking up valuable land. I hope the thoughtful atheist will also make provisions for organ donation. They don’t need their eyes or hearts for a resurection day that isn’t coming.
And I’ve been to offensive memorial services too. Usually they’re just dull. One where they made it sound as if a young woman tragically killed was better off dead. Another had the preacher refer to the dead wife as a “helpmeet”. The worst was when the god botherer decided it was a swell time to condemn abortion.
At least they’re quiet.
I, too am tired of Christians who assume that their world view is the norm and somehow others must be missing something.
We’re fine, thank you. We really are.
I don’t know what Catholic church this was, but most of the funerals I’ve been to have been Catholic, and not once have I encountered anything like that.
I agree with you. Most people whose ideas are like that of the poster quoted have a problem with religion in general, and see/hear/experience what their biased views tell them to expect.
My mom’s memorial - or “Hootenanny” as we billed it - was perfect, she would have loved it (except for having to talk to all of those people). We held it at the Grange Hall in her small CT town, and set up her MacBook to play all of her music, much jazz of all sorts including Dixieland and New Orleans 2nd Line type stuff. We brought in some food from the local deli, and someone made the pumpkin fudge recipe that she had printed out and left on her keyboard shortly before she died. Weird, but funny.
Everyone milled about and talked to friends we hadn’t seen in years, then we quieted the music and everyone told funny stories about her and her partner of 34 years, who had died four months prior to my mom. It was great fun.
We still have a small job to do but haven’t managed to complete the task yet. Still working out how to do it in style, which is really the only way.
I had asked her, some years before her death and immediately following her recovery from open heart surgery, what her wishes for whatever sort of funeral/memorial/celebration were, and these are her exact words copied from her email:
“I think I have said that finally, I wish to be cremated and my ashes scattered over the rugs of my daughter-in-laws living room. If that proves to be impractical, flush them down the toilet. I certainly wouldn’t want any religious services, but then, the departed doesn’t really have a say. I would suggest a party, with or without booze, and certainly with lots of jokes, but that’s really up to the survivors.”
Like I said, we still have that one small job to do with the ashes, but I think everything else was covered. 
What are atheist funerals like?
Ungodly?
My husband’s cremation went like this:
As people arrived, we had the love theme from Bladerunner playing.
A lone bagpiper played a lament as his coffin was carried in.
The humanist celebrant told the factual story of his life.
His best friend told his own memories and funny anecdotes.
A recording of my husband playing one of his own compositions on the guitar was played.
The celebrant then invited us to have a few moments silence as we send his body to be cremated.
“Going home” - the theme from the film Local Hero was played as we all left.
We all headed to a nearby hotel and had drinks, food and laughs.
And how does your SIL feel about this? :eek:
You guys could probably find an eager vacuum cleaner salesman to attend! 
And thou one may rest in the carpet of death, fear not the Kirby or the Hoover nor even the dreaded Dyson, as one shall merely transition to another restful plane of non existence.
Ouch!
This is what we called the service for my father last year, at his specific request. There was no mention of God, nor did there have to be. The celebrants came from far and wide, speeches were made, food and drink were consumed, and memories were shared. Dad’s favourite music was played. I’m not sure what a minister would have added aside from boredom.
Everyone hates the SIL in question, hence mother dear’s wishes. She was so deliciously evil.
We thought we might try to do it a 'la The Great Escape - load up our pants cuffs and casually shake a leg through the room. 
My will states I want a non religious funeral. How that is carried out after I’m gone, I have no idea. I’ll leave that up to who ever plants me.
As an atheist, my stance would be that if you think I liked you when I was alive, then clearly I’d rather you be happy, than be sad or angry or whatever else. So if my death is a good excuse to get together and hold a party, then hey, that’s a pretty good excuse. You all should have a blast!