When you’re in the midst of an emotional event, such as planning a funeral, it is easy to become a sobbing, blubbering idiot. That’s a normal part of the grieving process and there’s nothing wrong with it. However, it can be inconvenient if it happens when you’re trying to work out details, give instructions, make plans, etc. Are there any techniques that can be used to maintain your composure at these times?
Eat pieces of hard candy. Pressing the candy against the roof of your mouth and gently sucking on it represses the tear ducts. Well, I’m sure that’s not the actual medical explanation, but it does work.
Something about using your mouth muscles keeps your face and eye muscles from twisting into the positions you use when you cry.
Plus, when you’re sad, eating sweets make you feel a bit happier.
Masturbate.
“Excuse me, I just need a minute!”, then get up and take a short walk. No one will mind, they’ll all patiently wait until your return, politely and patiently.
Trying to suppress it, fearing it will strike suddenly, fear of embarrassment, etc, are making it into a much bigger thing than it needs to be. Attempting to suppress these emotions just makes them grow and grow, in my opinion. Means it takes a Herculean effort to control.
Stop fearing it and just develop a strategy that allows you to express it. Doing so will get you passed this much, much quicker.
Good Luck!
During the 15 month period when my mom, her partner, and my brother all died, there was a whole lot of crying (needless to say). I learned that if I kind of “scheduled” major crying, it was easier to get through times where a crying meltdown wouldn’t be convenient, such as work. My ideal crying place was in the shower, and I used that time and place to really bust it out and let EVERYTHING spill as hard as necessary. Blubber and snot and scream it out when you’re in a comfortable place, you’ll be better able to maintain composure when you have to. Just my experience.
I don’t know, but possibly avoiding caffeine (coffee, tea, etc.) could help, as caffeine stimulates the nervous system, which can contribute to sad feelings. Also, wearing sunglasses (if a person is outside) acts as a shield to the eyes and other people cannot see, for example, if a person has been crying. But I do think it is OK if someone knows that you have been crying, etc. as it shows that you are a very caring person.
In general, I’ve found that being in public - i.e., a funeral - tends to squelch emotion. It makes you have to put on a public face.
I do not wish to cry in public, and no, I am not a very caring person. Just a crier. Crybaby.
I will cry if anyone else is crying even if I feel nothing. I can just barely watch Dancing with the Stars because everybody cries. Not every person every night, but somebody does it ever single episode and when somebody cries, so do I, and please believe me, I do not care. I was not moved by emotion or the beauty of the music or the mastery of the dance. I was prompted by the crying of the contestants (or one of the judges, whatever).
I don’t mind crying in front of the tv but I really can’t do it in public and I want to stop and not do it. It fucks up my makeup. If I’m wearing bulletproof makeup, it still screws up my contact lenses. I just don’t want to do it.
Even if I actually felt something I wouldn’t want to cry in public but nine times out of ten, I don’t.
And I have not found anything that works, but…hard candy? Hmmm…