I had a one night stand with a woman who I met online. I stupidly didn’t use a condom after she told me she had no STDs and had her tubes tied and an ablation 9 years ago.
Assuming she is lying about having her tubes tied/ablation, what are the chances I got her pregnant? (I have no reason to think she’s lying other than my paranoia)
She is 48 (from what I’m reading, very hard to get pregnant at this age)
I pulled out
I don’t know where she was in her cycle
She told me not to contact her for sex again after I started freaking out over text about this, so that makes me think she was telling the truth about tubes/ablation. Her texts read word for word: “Never gonna happen” “Stop stressing, i dont want a baby”
I havent heard from her since last tuesday sept 8 when I asked her “you wouldnt lie abt having ur tubes tied, right?” And she replied “i hate you!!” Shut up already. Find someone else for sex"
How many weeks after seeing her can I breathe easy as far as a baby goes?
Speaking as a physician who used to do Obstetrics and birth control/fertility work, I’ll say that it’s very unlikely she’s pregnant, but given the terms you parted with her on, you won’t be able to breath easy any time soon. It’s possible you will get hit with a child support order years down the road. Possible, but not real likely.
Use birth control. If you don’t trust her enough to believe she’s telling the truth, don’t fuck her. And if you do trust her, use birth control anyway.
It takes about 39 weeks for a woman to make a baby… or she could tell you when the kid turns 18, so waiting isn’t a very good option. My advice is to move on with your life. If it happens, it happens. I personally would trust her since she has no reason to lie to you (that I can think of). I think your paranoia has gotten the best of you.
I mean no offense: Your behavior seems very strange indeed here and judging by the interaction I’d say you have some issues that this has brought up that you may want to look into. Your interaction with this woman does not look like it is coming from a place of mental healthiness.
I don’t want to offer an unprofessional diagnose on the internet, but judging by what you describe, your actions are not within “normal” parameters. The fact that you are worrying about this when there is very obviously no reason to, and the responses from the woman points toward you not feeling too well and having some sort of mild mental issue. I get the impression that you’ve got some mild paranoia and anxiety going on and I’d just advice you to relax.
She’s definitely not pregnant and you would probably benefit from calming down and going over what it was that made you worry and act this way. Main thing, just relax, nothing bad has happened or is going to happen. This is nothing to worry about, you just got freaked out about something that was a figment of your imagination and maybe over reacted a bit in a social situation.
ETA: Stoneburg, if your advice is to “just relax,” and your judgement is that that is a good response to “mild paranoia and anxiety,” or, as you then say, “freaking out” over a stressful situation–as presented by a rational description of the anxieties and the reasoning behind them–none of which are “figments of [anybody’s] imagination”–then “mental unhealthiness” is a little over dramatic.
Or, as you say, an over-reaction in a social situation, here in SD.
Yeah it’s “possible” she’s pregnant, but you pulled out as well - and most 48 year old women don’t want children:
Multiple the percentage chance that she could get pregnant (no more than five percent if you were trying to get her pregnant)
times the risk reduction for pulling out (not sure, but it’s pretty high)
times the odds she is lying to you
times the odds she wants to keep a baby
And factor in something for the possibility the tubal ablation failed.
I’d lay odds your chances are less than 1:500 you have anything to worry about.
Not trying to be harsh - as I think many males have had to become mathematicians and mini experts on female reproductive cycles at least once in their life, but there are probably a million guys out there right now that would LOVE to trade places with you.
ETA: the geek in me feels the need to point out that you can’t use the equation exactly as described as her lying AND wanting to keep the baby would obviously be correlated - but you get the gist.
Thanks. I have been pouring over stats and have read the same ones as you have posted, but i’m still freaking out. It just seems like its the kind of thing that would happen to me (someone who has only had sex w 2 women including this one).
When do you think I can breathe easy if she hasn’t contacted me by then?
