What?? No way! This is very surprising.
“There’ll be no locks or bolts between us, Sattua… except those in your own mercenary little heart!”
“I’ll pay you 1 million dollars to fuck me.” (money must be visibly displayed)
Yep those are the magic words.
“OK. . .Who wants some?”
Yes, referring to lady bits as a ham sandwich is not a good sign. Delete that analogy from your repertoire - even if you just use it on the internet.
If you are just trying to get laid I suggest posting an ad on Craigslist Casual Encounters with a pic of your rock hard abs. If you are just dating to get laid, be upfront about it, otherwise you may be coming off desperate.
Nothing wrong with going out to get laid, but try to develop some real chemistry rather than just saying anything you think will impress the first hot girl that gives you the time of day. Even if they did want to bang you, the disingenuous platitudes (saying you like her shitty art, making her an “orgasmic” sandwich, bragging about a killer pad, etc) can be a libido killer.
“I do not have any incurable sexually transmitted diseases, or if I do then they’re not that serious”
Ok, then how about ham burrito? A ham sandwhich does have the potential to get really floppy. And that for sure is a libido killer. :eek:
Clam chowder? Seafood surprise?
You know what would be perfect? A small container of pink GAK (hey 90s kids!). My fake dick would fit into that perfectly. Those things even queef. I can make that pussy whiiiiistle!
A non-serious, yet incurable STD? I believe that is what is known as an oxymoron.
No, she was using lezzie sarcasm.
Izklith alkaloth inkir nalalahon kzrthna r’lyna.
Repeat three times, then once backwards.
PLEASE make sure the thongs are purple, silky, and warm. I am not responsible for the destruction of your universe or any other if they’re not.
Wait a minute. Diamonds02 has an elevator now? 
For me? “Hi, my name is Linda.” would work.
Your panties would look good on my head.
Every time.
HPV is usually non-serious, except when it isn’t.
"What are the magic words that would make you sleep with someone?"
Let me think…
“Hi, Spoons. I find you an interesting person, and I’d like to get to know you better.”
We’ll go from there.
Bolding mine: This is what my drag queen friend would call, “throwing shade”. Nicely done.
This is a hard call for me. I know for a fact men have said just the right thing to get the boobs bouncin’, but it really does seem to be the *way *they say things to me that does it.
I am not one of those women who gets a lot of attention, though, so what works for me is probably annoying as hell for lots of women.
NM