What are the rules or boundaries of Chinese social behavior?

In My Humble Opinion
1

In some posts I have read describing western people’s impressions of Chinese social behavior (in a mainland Chinese social setting) it they are often shocked by how abrupt, loud, aggressive and (to western sensibilities) borderline impolite and obnoxious it can be.

Are these descriptions correct? Is this typical of Chinese social interaction? Do they view Westerners as meek wall flowers? Is this simply the behavior that is in response to high density living situations for people one generation off the farm or are all Chinese rich and poor alike like this?

2

That’s quite a vast topic, but yes, that’s one way of looking at Chinese behavior. They can be very blunt and pushy with strangers, but one-on-one with friends they can be very gracious, kind, and giving. When I lived in China I had Chinese friends who were some of the nicest people I’ve ever met and a lot of fun to hang out with. And frankly, there were times when I appreciated their direct, forthright attitude when I was new at negotiating the country. There’s something to be said for letting someone know exactly where they stand, as opposed to cloaking everything in euphemisms so as not to offend. YMMV.

3

Very simplistic look since you’re talking about mainland China.

  1. 1.4 billion people. Wall flowers wither. Think about it the most crowded place you’ve ever been and the lines there. Now rachet that up to a China level. If you patiently wait in line, you’ll *never *get to the front.
  2. Highly competitive environment starting in pre-school. It’s an up or out system. You either are first chair and keep moving up, or you get pushed out.
  3. Cultural differences. A lot of subjects that might be considered taboo in the US, are perfectly standard questions in China. One example is “how much money do you make?” Perfectly fine in China…
  4. Not to mention about 100 years of anarchy that ended in 1949, mass starvation in the late 1950’s, the whole cultural revolution mess that erased most of a decade from 1966 - 1976, an economy that has double thrice since Tian’anmen, a complete absence of Christian guilt and pretty much any religion.
  5. “You win, I lose” concept. It’s getting better but a win-win type concept is pretty alien.

The above is a pretty good starter. :wink: