ANY end of a pickaxe.
ETA: I’m seeing a Google ad for grease trap collection on this thread. Just thought I’d point that out.
Now the Google ads are for felt padding and custom thermos bottles. Neither of which should be inserted in a vagina, of course. Maybe that’s why they’re there?
John Hagee
John McCain
Tom Cruise
Jack Chick
Any sort of roadkill
Papa John’s Pizza
Seamen
Elephantiasis
Acrostics
Manhole covers (get it?)
Eggshells
Nintendo cartridges
Your friend is not alone. I had a nasty one of those recently and I confess, I was having very lewd thoughts about the bottle brush we keep in the kitchen. Only thing was, I knew it’d been around the germy kitchen sink so figured it would, ultimately, NOT be a good idea :eek:
Back to the OP:
‘Alarm clocks’ (agreed, unless one wants to redefine the old Laugh-in line ‘Ring my chimes!’)
Furniture too large to fit through doors
Cleaning supplies of any sort
Legs of ham
chimney stacks
spiders
Clocks
Computer monitors
Globes
Porch columns
Stop signs
Dictionaries
Ceiling tiles
Dammit! Does ‘jackhammer Jesus’ count? (The ‘2 click rule’ prevents my linking it here, google it up yer own darn selves. If you dare ):eek:
One Timex digital watch, broken.
One unused prophylactic, One soiled. —> (Actually, they might be OK) 
One black suit jacket.
One pair of black suit pants.
One hat, black.
One pair of sunglasses.
Twenty three dollars and seven cents.
The guy in the office next to mine.
I’m amazed nobody has mentioned a flute yet.
Whether or not it’s during band camp.
spam
spam
spam
spam
baked beans
and spam
Post #54, and I’m the first to mention chainsaws? I’d have thought it would be at the top of many more people’s lists.
Xenomorphs
Tube worms
Balut
ETA: Superman (For those who’ve not read it, yet: Man of Steel, Woman of Kleenex can be found here: http: //www.rawbw.com/~svw/superman.html. Link broken because the essay is a frank discussion of the sexuality and mentality of one Kal El, and may not be considered SFW by some people.)
12 Drummers Drumming.
Any child older than “currently being born.”
Crocodiles And Boulevards, or crocodiles, or boulevards.
red hots
Icicle.
Mercury.
Magma.
Sledgehammer.
Pepper spray.
Assorted Lego bricks.
Wolverine’s claws.
ice cream
cotton candy
spare tire
laundry hamper
lysol
Two and a Half Inches of Fun