I am shallow enough to believe I have amazingly superior makeup/hair/fashion sense than the greater population. Every person that crosses my radar gets a mental makeover.
Thankfully for my ass, I have never expressed that shallow thought to anyone.
Is that… irony, I smell?
Anyway, my little judgements: I’m generally not attracted to people of different races. This isn’t concious, it just happens.
Conciously, I find myself rarely attracted to heavily overweight people. Borderline is alright, even quite chubby, but not morbidly obese. I also dislike gummy smiles.
For me, it isn’t the education level so much as them being able to think for themselves. (unless they still use the word yonder ~ yikes) Just because a book or your mamma said it doesn’t mean you have to agree. Physically, I am happy with average ~ once the lights are out I won’t notice anyway. =) The one thing I can not stand is a man having to dominate to feel like a man. Tightwads kill me also. If you don’t have the money, then a nice picnic in the park is fine. If you have it and just can’t part with a little to have fun I can’t relax. Yes tragic things can happen so be cautious, but don’t hold it till you die either.
Well label me a praline, 'cause I’m crushed.
I dated a guy years ago. He was from somewhere in New York City (Bronx, maybe?) and he had a strong accent.
Keep in mind I live in the deep South (GA.)
He sounded like a cartoon character to me. I couldn’t take his voice. I had to restrain myself from saying “Quit talking like that! Just talk normally!!!”
(Apologies to anybody with a strong New York accent that might have been offended.)
So I guess I’m shallow about accents.
OH man. I love guys that are shorter than me. Not crazy shorter. I’m 5’11" and my SO is 5’9". I like him for more reasons than the short factor…the fact that he’s very successful and tremendously intelligent are big reasons why I dig him. Also, he makes me laugh a lot.
I think part of the reason I dig his lack of height (in relation to me) is that I think to myself “it takes a man with balls, huge balls, to date me”. And I think it does show that he’s got a lot of self-confidence to date a woman taller than himself, and that’s hella sexy. When we go out, I feel like arm-candy with him. I feel like its obvious to everyone what a really great guy he is, due to the fact that he can attract me, a hot chick that’s taller than he is. It seriously turns me on.
My shallow-ocities:
– Can’t stand the cowboy-type. I see a pair of tight wranglers and think “stupid”.
– Not that fond of college degrees. Unless your field absolutely requires one…like a Dr. Very fond of the self-made man who bucks the trend to succeed in their own fashion.
– Has to be able to understand my vocabulary. I hate having to dumb down conversation.
– Hate it when a guy’s hips are bigger than their shoulders.
– Long fingernails on a man freak me out. So does jewelry. Unless its interesting piercings.
– Picky eaters piss me off.
thx
I don’t like fat people. Given that I’m overweight myself, that may be one for the shrinks. And in women, looks are more important to me than they should be, which bothers me. Sounding uneducated turns me off, which is shallow. Having no sense of humor turns me off even more, which isn’t shallow at all.
I don’t think all of these things are shallow. Deciding not to date someone uneducated isn’t (necessarily) shallow, and neither is not wanting to date someone who has a conflicting political viewpoint, or is a vegan. I’m very left-wing and I wouldn’t want to date a conservative because my political views are intrinsic to how I live my life and what I feel passionate about. I couldn’t be with someone whose viewpoints were wildly different from my own.
That said, I too am not interested in men shorter than me. I’m not very tall, though (5’5"), so this is rarely an issue.
Will do. 
Sorry for the late reply, but I wasn’t tracking this thread.
First, I’m a man; I don’t have a purse. (I mean I’m gay, but not that gay. ;))
Second, I didn’t say I was attracted to alcoholics or junkies, so your little scenarios don’t fit. Any man who steals from me or gets mean is going to have his arse kicked to the curb.
Third, I don’t “trust” non-drinkers/non-partiers because they won’t open up to me in the way that a drinker/partier will. It’s much of a cliche, but getting drunk with someone is an awesome way to establish intimacy and a relationship of trust. It cuts through the barriers of awkwardness, social barriers and second-guessing that exist between totally sober people. Drinking/partying goes hand-in-hand with concerts, raves and clubs–I like going out. Therefore, I’m attracted to drinkers and I’m attracted to party people.
I’m not attracted to someone who can’t let their hair down at least a bit. I’m not attracted to someone who’s not going to talk crap with me without getting all embarassed or shy. I don’t want someone who’s going to be looking at their watch because it’s part midnight. I don’t want someone who’s not going to get up and dance.
Now I’m not saying I only like people who are drunk or drugged up all the time (and I’m sure plenty of non-drinkers are great fun to be around at parties–OTOH, I’ve never met one.) What I am saying is that I’m not attracted to someone who won’t come out on Friday or Saturday night for at least a couple of hours and have a beer (even one!) with the rest of us. I’m perfectly capable of friendship with a non-drinker, but we’re talking about people we’re attracted to here.
Finally, non-drinkers/non-partiers don’t really fit into the culture that I’m part of. I’m 23. I’m Australian. Like the Brits, drinking and partying (which is NOT synonymous with abuse and addiction) is entrenched in our society. Frankly, I’m not sure what I’d do with someone who I can’t take out for a beer at the pub, a mixed drink at the club, or a bottle of cabernet sauvignon over dinner.
The scenarios you propose would seem to indicate that you have major issues with alcohol and alcoholics. Sorry, but they have no relevance to the overwhelming majority of drinkers.
Jervoise
I’m with Ouisey about fingernails on a guy. Long ones can make the perfect man a non-contender in no time.
Gay men that live their lives by their sexuality are a big turn off for me. A little explanation may be necessary here. I want the guy I’m dating to be gay (or bi is cool too) but that doesn’t mean that they have to hit gay bars, go to gay restaurants, fill up their gas tanks at gay gas stations with the rainbow bumperstick on the bumper, hit the gay men’s chorus, and then on to a yadda yadda yadda. I get it, you’re gay, I’m gay. Let’s move on and go to a GOOD restaurant that doesn’t matter what genetalia we need to get off. (This actually applies to anyone that clings to their minority status to the point of being extreme and living only in that microcosmos).
Another point. Naked pictures of men flexing, posing, fighting fires, sharpening pencils, etc, that’s a no-no. It’s the gay equivalent of a straight guy’s neon Budweiser sign. Unless you’re in a dorm room, this is tacky.
Last one, skinny guys. If I want bones, I’ll watch Star Trek. (Bears on the other hand, nummers :D)
Missed this old thread until I followed a link from the “Of Heights & Men” thread. I have a few unique ones and some were already mentioned.
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Body type - They have to be lean, or else it just ain’t happenin. If you’re not going to do what’s necessary to take cre of yourself - how can you care for anyone else?
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Gold jewelry is a big turnoff for me too - silver or even wood/shell puka beads are fine though.
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Hands / fingers - We have fingernails mentioned. I can gauge to a high level of accuracy how sensual or intimate a person is from the shape of their hands. It’s weird, but if the don’t have the “right” hand type, I won’t persue them.
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Cleanliness - If you aren’t clean with yourself, your house or your car - that implies slob, and slob is a big no-no.
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I too gravitiate toward drinkers, because they tend to be more fun & have fewer hang-ups. I’ll avoid reformed drinkers, due to the whole character-flaw thing that enabled them to become full-blown drunks in the 1st place.
I guess we’re all entitled to our own shallow criteria & vanity.
Let’s see:
[ul][li]Chewing with mouth open is a major turn-off no matter what the relationship. [/li][li]A woman who wears very few rings and has one on her index finger–I love that. Bonus: The only ring she wears is on her index finger.[/li][li]Fat ankles will ruin an otherwise wonderful woman.[/li][li]I love big noses.[/ul][/li]
Then there’s the whole finding someone attractive thing. Is it shallow to not want to be with someone you don’t like looking at?
Excessively picky eaters. Cutting the crust off bread is unacceptable if you are over 6 years old.
Ruling out entire sections of the food pyramid (vegetarians excepted) becuse you don’t “like” them is childish.
If it takes you 30 seconds of explanation at the counter of a fast food place over how to make a hamburger, then you’re out of contention.