Wear whatever you want, and I’ll think whatever I want.
Regards,
Shodan
is this literally true? because I thought you were a woman…
I hate it when I agree with you! :mad:
People can wear whatever they want, but they shouldn’t be butthurt if other people criticize it. You can’t have it both ways. Whenever I hear about people that get poked fun of for looking rediculous in a poorly-fitting outfit they get super defensive about their right to be a slob. My take is that if you don’t care about looking like a slob, why do people on the internet make you care so much? If they do get defensive, its because deep down they know they look fugly when their pannus is hanging out of a too-short shirt, backfat avalanching down the back of their cami, and straps making grooves deeper than the Marianas trench on their shoulders? Because they know what other people are seeing, and deep down they are embassed but too lazy to do anything about it. That’s why they get defensive about it.
That or they are so delusional about themselves they think they are hot stuff, and they have their head buried so far into the sand they can’t even hear or see information that would actually help them.
Fat people’s excuses for dressing horribly are lame. There are places to get plus-sized clothing that looks flattering on big people. But this takes effort, and if someone has gotten to the point to be so fat they can’t fit in clothes from Wal-Mart then putting a lot of effort into anything in life is probably not high on their priorities. My wife is slender by American standards, but she has family members that come in many shapes and sizes. and yet for them, dressing in a way that is flattering to their body type is not hard. They don’t make excuses for it, they don’t complain if other people critisize the way someone looks for dressing badly, they take care of themselves.
“Its none of your beeswax what anyone thinks about [thing]” is a pathetic excuse; imagine if we applied this to other topics many dopers are much more rabid about- “This person believes the earth is flat! What an asshat!” “Well its none of our business what other people believe” [THREAD CLOSED]. It would make the SDMB a pretty boring place.
^ This x1000. ^
You can’t even spell “ridiculous.” Quit judging people and read a book.
Of course a person needs to accept that people will have negative reactions to their clothing choices. Feelings and reactions can’t be helped.
But part of being a mature adult is being able to prioritize whose opinions matter at any given time. An employer’s opinion is more important than the opinion of the stranger on the bus who you will never see again. Your SO’s opinion is more important than opinion of the busybody who lives across the street. So if you’re going to accommodate people’s preferences, just make sure you accommodate the right people.
Another facet of maturity is knowing when your opinion is appreciated and when it isn’t. Sure, everyone has a right to their opinion. But everyone also has the right to think you are a jerk for sharing your opinion.
Many people are stuck in this childish loop where they know they look unflattering but instead of doing something about it they retreat to their hugbox and get super defensive about it. The unfortunate part is that this just makes the torment worse. Someone getting super defensive about this is passively condoning all the judgmental attitudes about them. It just makes them look more pathetic and deluded.
Though it doesn’t shock me that if a person is willing to neglect their body to the point that they can’t wear clothes that fit properly, then trying to find outfits that do is a pretty hefty burden for someone so lazy 
Why are you addressing me, Incubus?
Why do you think I need to be lectured to by the likes of you?
Stop making excuses for being a bully.
So if people “wear whatever they want,” they must waive their right to call out assholish behavior and meekly accept whatever abuse is hurled at them?
I’m not fat, but if you ridicule my dorky polo shirts and Dockers, I’m going to give you the finger and tell you to go fuck yourself. Sure, you have the right be a douchenozzle, but I also have the right to call you out on it. Where are you getting this idea that fat people are obligated to cooperate with your shaming?
Way to get some stealth-bragging in there.
He also missed “embarrassed” and two instances of “it’s,” should you feel inclined to deliver the coup de grâce in your strategic dismantling of his argument.
If people don’t want to get made fun of for neglecting their bodies then they should take better care of themselves.
Or people could not be assholes? Could that be a thing we try?
There’s no argument there to dismantle.
It isn’t like we see a fat woman or man in clothes 3 sizes too small and tell them so. My question is, don’t they ever look in the mirror? I would assume that the way too small clothes would be so uncomfortable. We don’t tell them to get larger sizes, so that’s not being assholes, but we can still see.
If no one is saying anything, where is the torment that Incubus referenced coming from?
I see people dressing badly all the time, because I’m surrounded by geeks, dorks, and nerds. Some wear ill-fitting clothes, while others have problems matching colors or ironing. Sometimes I notice the anti-fashionistas. Most times I don’t.
But what is a colossal waste of time is navel-gazing about petty shit like this. Why do people dress like they don’t own a mirror? Who the fuck knows? Maybe they don’t own a mirror. Maybe their mirrors are of the crazy funhouse variety. Or maybe their opinion of what looks good are just different from yours. I know this is a shocking revelation to some. But it’s the best explanation for why people do what they do.
Yesterday as I was walking home, I passed by two young women, both dressed in yoga pants. One was slender. The other was fat. But they were both beautiful, IMHO. It was refreshing to see neither girl embarrassed about their bodies. The idea that someone would judge the fat girl more harshly than the skinny girl kind of pisses me off.
Exactly. My belief is that if you are really self conscious about it, you’ll either dress in a more flattering way or you’ll ignore remarks that try to bring you down.
I think they would notice if they were uncomfortable before you would, so your concern is ill-founded. Sometimes people do not experience the sensations our own experiences would tell us they are likely to. The science on this is hazy, but it suspect it has something to do with us not being identical copies of each other.
The question of how others do not see how stupid and ugly they look is certainly one for the ages.
We spend a great deal of time on the SDMB talking about the most mundane of things. You have always been an ardent defender of this, monstro. That’s fine. But by that logic, talking about people too lazy to take care of themselves seems to be a weird sticking point for some. The chorus of the SDMB can rail against people they consider anti intellectual, ignorant, super religious, etc. But suddenly when the topic of putting effort in oneself comes up its ironically taboo.
Someone that doesn’t take care of themselves is setting themselves up for being ostracized. Whose actions are easier to change, your own or everybody else’s?
this opinion is piss poor - if you don’t want people to make fun of you - you should get a better opinion.
or be ashamed of this one.
and once again, Monstro gets it right.