“What in Tarnation???” when I’m trying to figure something out. “Darn it all to thunderation anyhow…”
“…tell you WHAT…” (when you’re mad at someone and getting ready to let them have it).
I can blame most of these on my dad. (at least I managed to avoid “What in the Cat Hair”…don’t even ask, I have NO idea where he came up with these things, I never heard my grandparents use them).
Except (I know, I know, I’m so ashamed)…
Neato Frito.
One of my classmates used it in a bio for the yearbook, and for some reason it stuck. I have worse ones, but those are the ones that pop out when I honestly do NOT plan on it.
It may be a fake Britishism (it hurts me to say that. I wanted to say it may be a fake Pommie-ism ) but “What the bloody hell?” is perfectly correct Kiwi/Aussie.
I respond to almost any statement of intent with “Good luck”. I get all kinds of strange, awkward looks and responses, altho the most common is “What do you mean by that?”
Co-worker: I’ll be right back. I gotta use the restroom.
Me: Good luck.
Co-worker: What do you mean? Isn’t there a bathroom here? Is it broken?
Friend: I can’t wait! I’m flying to Aruba tomorrow for a week’s vacation!
Me: Wow! Have fun! Good luck!
Friend: What do you mean by that? Is there trouble down there?
Another thing I say all the time is something I picked up in college from the fine [del]crackers[/del] people of north Florida/south Georgia that I was around all the time. When I have to use the restroom, I will usually excuse myself by saying that “I have to see a man about a dog.” Strangely, no one ever responds by telling me “good luck”.
I also find myself using more and more gamer-l33t talk in real life. I think people must assume that I am learning a foreign language when they hear me say:
WOOT! I totally pwned that noob! He should bow to my uberness!
“Bloody hell” and “bloody ace” are in my vocabulary - however, it’s not odd where I come from. But it certainly is odd here in the US. Others include “Don’tcha know?” at the end of everything, and “wee stump”. Wee stump is supposed to be in referece to a stubborn child, but I often use it when speaking about my younger self, and about most children, because I was, and they* are*. I get some funny looks for those phrases. I say “aye” instead of “yes”. But one habit I picked up on, and it’s not terribly common back home, though it is heard sometimes, I picked up for fun: “Oh, nay nay!” Usually said when feeling cheeky.
Other than those, there are several others I pop out with that I must have absorbed from elsewhere.
“Lord, love a duck!”
“I’m feeling shittish.” (from an old co-worker)
“Look at him, looking like he smells right good.” (from a student worker one year, now used whenever I see anyone, for any reason, they don’t have to look like they smell right good at all.)
My favourite comes from my father. My father is a quiet man, very intelligent, with a very dry wit and a love of awful puns. I adore him. He’s a tough guy to impress. But once in a while, usually because of something he sees on television, but occasionally because of something someone in reality does, he has a saying. It has to be a man doing it. If this man has somehow made himself stand out from the crowd, in a way that it is impossible to ignore, be it because of his bad-assedness, his amazing hairdo/fashion sense, or just plain flamboyance, my father will utter with bemusement, and just a hint of reverence: “What a dude.” Sometimes it’s a compliment, sometimes it’s just amazement. But if deemed a “dude” by my father, you have truly stood out to him in some way. And he is secretly impressed. Now I use it the same way, though sometimes we use it to describe something really cool. Like Robosapien. He’s such a dude.
An old friend of mine was working at the fish factory one year, packing fish. To pack fish, specifically sardines, you cut the heads and tails off. With scissors. Snip snip. Snip snip. Snip snip. They get paid by how much they put out, so if you were good at it, you could get paid pretty high. It’s an icky place to be. I’m glad I never worked there.
Anyway, one gets pretty bored snipping heads and tails off of fish, as I could imagine. My friend began doing things to amuse himself. He’d trim them in silly ways, give them “haircuts”, that kind of thing. The one thing that stayed with me for years was remembering how he would cut off their lips. Then he’d talk smack to them:
“Not so tough without your lips, are ya?”
I love this phrase and use whenever possible. Sadly, situations rarely arise in which I can use it.
I’m not religious at all, yet I use the expressions “in the wrong church” and “right church, wrong pew” when something is being done totally or somewhat wrong.
I use the phrase “we’ll burn that bridge when we get to it” at work a lot. Which really is pretty accurate for the way a lot of the projects that get spec’ed out end up playing out.
Ausgeseichnicht! from an old VW commercial. I don’t think it’s proper German (or even properly spelled, as German isn’t even my third language), but it sounds cool. I will also say “Have fun!” when someone is going off to a meeting, bathroom, etc. I’m hoping that this comes off as eccentrically endearing, as opposed to irritating and repelling.
When I’m dealing with something stubborn (my computer, christmas lights, etc.) I find myself saying “damned english oak” It’s from the movie Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves and I have absolutely NO idea why I say it.
My biggest profanity is “Fuck if I know”
My grandmother always manages to work “six of one, half a dozen of the other” into **every ** conversation we have. It’s become something I listen for, and I find myself smiling when she finally gets to it.
Great Scott!
Far out.
Bodacious.
Valgame Dios!
Mirabile dictu
I don’t use it, but when I first heard it I laughed for a week. It was in school. We were playing Hearts or Fan Tan and one of the guys (usually quite reserved and mild mannered) got a bad break in the cards and yelled out, “Shitty Jesus!”
Maybe you had to be there. Picture Blythe Danner or Judi Dench saying it out of nowhere.
Now that I have this heart melting baby boy looking up at me all the time, it seems incongrous to let out a “Mother fucker on a stick!” or “Fuck me into oblivion!!”. I ususally only got those beauties out in times of extreme frustration or duress.
I’m also partial to “Bloody buggery bollocks!!!”
But lately I’ve morphed into Angela Lansbury. I say “Good heavens!” or "Rats!"or “Mercy me!”. I miss my old cussin’ days I have to say, but then, I don’t want my son to think his mom has a mouth that would make a truck driver blush, now do I?
Mine is “If it was up your ass in golf shoes you’d know!”
I just love telling people to “Blow me!” Also “Suck the dick I don’t have!”
“Fuck me ragged/with a chainsaw/blue!” and “Shit biscuits!” makes me laugh. “Shut the front door!” is one we’ve all adopted at work so others around us don’t have profanities flying down their mikes on live calls.
“Got his/her/its period” describes cranky/difficult people/things/situations, usually followed by “Midol, stat!” :rolleyes: <–yeah, that’s part of it, gotta roll the eyes.
I find it really pisses people off when they complain about something being too hard or an imposition and I declaim “A man’s reach should exceed his grasp, or what’s a heaven for?” This is also my reply to other people inviting me to blow them/fuck them ragged>with a chainsaw>blue/suck their dick.
My usual response to “how are you?” is “Simply spiffy!” or “Ducky, thanks!” I’m working on reintroducing “Twenty three skiddoo!” but it’s an uphill struggle–gets ya weird looks, though, I’m just sayin’.
Bugger all. Bloody, buggering Hell. Bugger all them little fishies.
Basil! (The name of a Great Dane I lived with once.)
Od’s bodikins.
Fall boom, go down.
) but “What the bloody hell?” is perfectly correct Kiwi/Aussie.
