I’ve been sharing a house with my SIL for almost a year now. About 2 months in leechboy and I realised that we would have to prepare our meals separately because my SIL has very different ideas on food.
Most of the meals she prepares are chips and some kind of fried meat or pasta bakes with lots of cheese and chips. Leechboy and I found we preferred more variety in our diet and less fat.
Over the past 11 months I have watched my 13 yo niece go from a size 14 to an 18. But more than the weight gain I’m worried what the long term impact on her health will be. My nephew has a number of gastro problems and as such is not absorbing the nutrients in his food, I’m sure a healthier diet would really help him.
My SIL talks about eating a healthy diet and she will tell me proudly that she served a salad with dinner. Yet neither of her kids touch the salad and it gets thrown out at the end of the meal.
I’ve offered to share the cooking with her again if she is finding it too much but on the provision that chips are not served as an essential part of every meal. I offered to make mashed potato or rice or some other food to take their place but my SIL prefers the convenience of buying chips for dinner.
How can I express my concern about their eating habits without coming over too judgemental.
I think just discuss it with her straight up… don’t necessarily state that you think it’s her fault (or her cooking’s fault). Just say you are concerned that their health doesn’t seem great, and maybe suggest seeing a doctor about it - especially the gastro problems. Most docs should be pick up on the diet factor straight away, and then it will be their job to tell her how to cook healthy meals.
BTW, a quick translation for any americans thinking that their diet is really weird… chips=fries (I assume, unless she’s feeding them pasta and crisps, in which case there may be no hope…)
An honest, caring opinion will only come across as judgemental if your SIL sees it that way, leechbabe. I heartily second ShadowWarrior’s post, and wish you all th’ best.
Why don’t you surprise your sister in law and her kids with a meal of your own one day? Or offer to cook dinner as a favour - that way, she doesn’t even have to go out of her way to get chips! So both you and leechboy could eat the food you like, and the rest of the family could enjoy it as well
In my previous life as a stepmom, I had a stepchild who had previously been raised on a lot of junk food. One thing which worked with her was to keep healthy snacks around to tempt her with. And let the kids see you enjoying some healthy snacks.
ShadowWarrior I know my nephew is already seeing a doctor about his stomach because my SIL got told she had to stop serving up eggs so often. SIL gets free eggs from a friend and used to add them to every meal. So thats one step in the right direction. But you are right it would be best to approach her directly.
G’Day Cataclysm, nice to see a fellow Aussie around the SDMB. I have offered to share our meals with my SIL and the kids, especially some nights when SIL says she is too tired to cook but the kids complain that they would prefer to have chips/fries and she gives in because she is too tired to argue with them.
Good idea about the snacks NinetyWt I think I will start on that this week.
Unfortunately, kids that age will not eat anything they don’t want to - the question is how to get the kids to want something other than chips at every meal.
Maybe you could try getting your niece to help you cook; get her to taste the food as it’s being prepared and suggest ingredients to spice it up, tone it down or whatever.
I can’t remember whether you have a deep-fryer or not, but if you, perhaps you could get your niece cooking sweet potato or pumpkin chips (at least you get to control the kind of oil used when you cook your own).
I have a recipe around somewhere for oven cooked chips (which really do come out just as crunchy) - I’ll email it to you when I hunt it up.
I know that my kids went through “single food” stages in their early teens; all you can really do is try to add a variety of foods to what they’re already eating.
Thats some great ideas reprise we have recently aquired a deep fryer but I was contemplating using it as a steamer instead.
If we did decide to use it for frying what kind of oil would be best?
I know that the kids are partially to blame for the food situation but I recall being the same age and having my parents tell me it was what was put in front of me or nothing.
My niece seems to enjoy cooking but prefers to make cakes and biscuits, thus she is not much interested in meals. Perhaps next time I am planning the shopping list I will ask her input for meal ideas, could get her enthused.
I’ll let someone else answer the oil question - I suspect that the current recommendation is one of the more expensive types of oil, but I’m not sure.
If niece likes making cakes, then a souffle isn’t much different. If she likes making biscuits, then she can make her own pizza base and her own pasta (pasta is dead easy to make, if somewhat messy).
Steamed veggies taste astonishingly good. Let the kids choose which veggies they want steamed. I’ve been able to eliminate butter and salt on just about all my veggies, just because they taste so good right out of the steamer.
My daughter took a couple of Health classes in school, and became enthused about healthier eating. Perhaps this will work with your niece and nephew.
I’m with Lynn on how good steamed vegies taste; and if the kids find them bland, lemon or lime juice and herbs are your friend.
If only to eliminate the possibility of juvenile onset diabetes or thyroid problems, I seriously think your niece probably needs a full medical check-up. Size 18 (for the non-Aussies, that’s a 40" bust) is big for a 13 year old (she must get hell at school), and I know if it was my daughter, I’d be trying to establish whether her size is due purely to bad diet or whether she has some underlying metabolic disorder which is also contributing to the problem.
Ta muchly Lynn and reprise, steamed veggies are good! Yum now I’m hungry.
I think I will sit down with my SIL and discuss the matter with her and put forward some of the solutions in this thread. That way it wont seem that I am being critical without helping.
If the kids won’t eat veggies by themselves, then perhaps a casserole would do the trick. Or a stew.
You might at least try it. Many kids, especially at the early teens, don’t like food mixed together, but if they find they like stews or casseroles, then they’ll be getting their meat, potatoes and veg all at once, and foregoing the fried stuff.
Having them help cook it might be fun and informative for them, too. Surely your niece is aware of her weight. She probably wants to change it, but needs guidance. Involve them both, if you can. They may develop a love for nutrition and cooking that will serve them well the rest of their lives.
