For me, it’s Moby. Granted, I’ve never met him, and I’m not that into techno, and I’m not really a huge fan of him (I own Play, like everyone else in the country, and I also just bought Everyhing is Wrong, which I really like), but every time I read or watch an interview with him, I just realize that we’re perfect for each other. I’ve fallen in love with him, based totally on these interviews, and I swear, if he ever met me, he’d realize that I’m the girl for him, no question.
Natalie Portman. We’re a perfect match in terms of astrology and chinese astrology.
I have way too much free time.
Madonna models herself on me. Give her a few years and she’ll catch up. (Here’s a tip, Madge. Pies. Meat and potato pies.)
The Sisters of Mercy would find me cool if they met me. I looked through their website a couple of months ago and came to that conclusion. We have an extremely similar taste in films and novels. I’m not in love with any of them, though.
Plenty of celebrities want to be me, but they don’t have a clue. It’s just Madonna and the Sisters who are remotely in tune.
There’ll come a day (tomorrow springs to mind as an obvious candidate) when I’ll look at this thread, not having drunk quite as much Amaretto, and I’ll almost certainly feel embarrassed.
The Corrs sisters, Andrea, Caroline, and Sharon.
I’ve never met them, and similarly they’ve never met me. But they’re going to be in town next month, and I’ve decided to drop by and say ‘hi’. I’ll be on the balcony, row N. I’ll be the one waving. Can’t miss me.
I particularly like the drummer, Caroline. Unfortunately, she’s the only one attached, so that’s ironic. The prettiest one is Andrea, and she’s totally single, has been for years. She must be begging for it by now. I’ll concentrate my powers of seduction on her, I think.
Jessica Alba. I’ve thought she was hot since ‘Idle Hands’ but then when she started to get famous with the premier of ‘Dark Angel’ and i started reading more about her i realized we’re perfect for each other. Of course, this is a total stalker thread.
DUDE! That was Jessica Alba in Idle Hands? I nearly freaking violated myself multiple times while watching that movie because of her!!!
–Tim
nearly? 
Anthony Perkins. I watched the E! True Story on him a couple of times last year, and I don’t know, he just seemed really sensitive and nice. Yes I’m aware he was gay, and that he died- but if had known me, and been around my age, I know we would’ve been perfect for each other. I just got the vibes. Sure, it was intuition on my part but I had that feeling, do you know what I mean?
He’s was also cute.
–Anake
Brad Pitt.
Unfortunately I’m not gay.
Oh yes. VERY sexy sexy sexy.
Oh yeah. So are you, Jack…
Mel Gibson and I have a thing going, but he has to deny it because of his wife. He really loves me best, though.
I’ve gotten fan letters about my Web site from some minor celebrities in the Buffalo, New York area – radio deejays, news anchorpeople, newspaper columnists, that sort of thing.
Drew Barrymore. She definitely needs to unload Tom Green and have a megadose of vitamin JB12.
Mmmmmmm… Andrea Corr
You’ll have to fight me for her though… 
Jessica Alba was also in Flipper, and I felt guilty for finding her so hot whenever it happened to be on TV.
Angie Harmon of Law and Order loves me. Her engagement to Jason Seahorn is merely a ruse.
Angie, you want me, and you know it!
Actually, she loves me. When Seahorn proposed on the Tonight Show, she looked away from him and into the camera to convey to me “AWB, I have to say yes to save face. This is national television.”
In her Neutrogena commercials, she says to me, “As soon as I can lose Jason, we will be together.”
Laura Prepon, who plays the redhead (can’t remember her character name) on That 70’s Show. I always thought she was kinda hot, in a tomboy-ish, girl-next-door, kinda way (which I guess is what they are shooting for on the show). Then I picked up the current edition of Maxim magazine.
Great Googly Moogly, Jesus Harold Christ in a '68 Impala with a bent axle, that girl is WHITE HOT. And she has a potty mouth, and gives the impression that she is somewhat the bad girl.
[sub]I think I need some quiet time now. [/sub]
A lot of people theorise that Nicole Kidman is Tom Cruise’s beard; disguising his gayness from the rest of the world.
Not true: he’s her cover story, hiding her true love for me from the rest of the gossip mongerers. As soon as I can convince Anniz that Tom is a great guy and that she’d love him, the trade is on. 